Who Are We Really?

The news of Kate Spade has got people talking. Lots of people are saying how that we all need to be aware…..that we all need to have the courage to put down the veil and admit what we fear the most.

Lately, I myself have been down….if I’m honest….depressed. There are certain things as a business owner I cannot express….I cannot tell my true feelings on Facebook, or even this blog….I can come close….but never fully all out….here’s my heart.

There are people who think they know me…and dislike me….just by looking at me. There are very very few people that really know me….and my deepest darkest hurts??? Hardly anyone knows these things about me.

I can’t imagine what it was like to be Kate Spade….but I loved her style….and I love what she brought to the world….but if I had to guess…she was hardly ever told that. If I were to guess.., I would say that she probably spent her life making everything around her beautiful. I can imagine that she was involved in lots of things….but I imagine that she didn’t ever really feel that anyone cared…and I bet she believed the lie that the world would be a better place without her. I can imagine she was tired….tired of being strong….tired of being judged….tired of never receiving flowers from anyone but her husband, tired of being the one that encourages,but nobody seemed to give a rats behind about her. I bet she was tired of trying, tired of missing out on other things while she was busy giving of herself and time when it seemed that no difference was being made.

I imagine that she felt she was not doing all she could as a mother….and her daughter would be better off without her…I imagine that she felt like she was drowning while standing still… I can imagine that she would pray for the pain to end….but not feeling brave enough to end it herself. I can imagine she was tired of not hearing thank you….and wondering why the buck always stopped with her. I can imagine those new wrinkles by her eyes and extra pounds that only she noticed made her feel less desirable as well. I can imagine that all she wanted was for the voices of perfection to quit yelling at her….and why can’t we all just get along?

Everyone likes to talk about mental illness….and that we should all talk about it… and there is truth to it….but there is also truth to the fact that most of us are just tired…tired of rude people, tired of disrespectful children that we have given our lives for and they don’t seem to care. Tired of employees that seem confused they should do what you say . Tired of organizations that hold their hands out but rarely say thank you…. and tired of the backbiting, yelling and people that seem to just want one more piece of you..so much so…..we like to imagine we are just sitting in a forest with no phones or people. No sound.

I can imagine she was tired of jealous looks when she got something new…can you imagine not being able to show your friends a new diamond ring you got without jealous stares and whispers….or people making snide comments on how you got it.

I can imagine that she was super tired of being judged what she wore, what she ate, how thin she was, if she was a good enough mother or wife……I imagine she was tired of always having people tell her what was bothering them, or how tired they were but never being able to say it. I imagine she was tired of hearing the failures of employees and being blamed for it. Perhaps she had parents always nagging that she doesn’t spend enough time with them. The voices can be deafening….and constant.

How lonely she was…when was the last time someone called her to go out that wasn’t a relative. When is the last sweats party she was invited to where no cameras were allowed and she could just be her.

I imagine it was slim to nothing…and lonely was where she sat….and if most of us were real honest….we completely get it.

I think all of us that feel that way would tell her she could come out with us and spill her heart…but I think we would all be too busy to take her out or anyone else…because most big girls nowadays are to busy with their own small crowds to look out at those who are lost and alone…

Successful women need what all of us need… validation….room to let our hair down……secrets kept safe…..and always have our backs.

If you have a friend like that….you are a a very lucky woman….

So…may we all arrive to be the lifeguard that sees our fellow sister drowning….and reach down and save her….may we all be out there looking and talking to one another….you just never know how lonely that lady sitting next to you with the really nice designer bag how sad she really is.