Funk

I came home from our business trip pretty pumped….I was excited about our business and all that we were doing.  I was excited that I picked out rubies that my husband liked and bought…I was excited that it seemed that I was finally getting it….

Then, reality hit….my son is moving out…he will never live in this house the same way ever again….and even though I say I’m ok with it….part of me really mourns that his childhood is over…..but I was taught to be tough and not cry…..so I continue to stuff it. I got home and the thoughts of all the purging we have to do to his room and the school room….and all the stuff….is kind of sending me over the edge.

Then Kate Spade…..and then it just hurt….down to my soul….and then the more people I talked to….the more they felt the same way….and I realized….I had to do something.

I have been taking a break from clowning this summer….because i just needed to help my husband with the business and I needed to get my son off to college, and I needed to get my daughter going with swimming and horse riding and violin and math tutoring….and all the things….I needed to finish painting in my house…..and get the planning done for promos for the fall for our business….so….many….things!

What I had forgotten to include….is the thing that gives me joy….the thing that motivates me….what gives me strength….what gives me motivation…..and so….I’ve been planning some things….and we will see what happens! I will keep you posted!

I also….will be very soon making soaps again….I have a huge order of supplies coming….

I keep hearing everyone talking about how we all need to talk to each other about what is going on in everybody’s life to see how everyone is feeling….and while that is true i will tell you that when I am down…..I don’t really tell anyone.  When I’m frustrated with my husband and my children etc….I rarely tell anyone….when I’m ready to scream because it seems that everything that is happening is falling on my shoulders….I don’t tell anyone.  I don’t write this to you to tell you that I’m about to hurt myself….I just know that I’m not the only one that feels that way……I’m aware that not everyone is going to stop and tell each other that they are hurting….and I have found for me personally….the best way for me to get out of my funk is…..

and right now….I’m just about ready to lose my mind….its been two months since I’ve had the opportunity to make someone laugh and smile….and I really really need it….its medicine to my soul.

If your feeling down….and beat up with the world….then….I encourage you to find something that gives you joy….and gives back to the community in which we live. It doesn’t have to be the ridiculous clown that I am….but something…..because the joy I feel when I do it…..is better than any single brownie or ice-cream treat I could ever give myself…..or shopping spree etc.

Have a blessed day….and may we all be able to deal with….the funk 😦