Today I spent half the day at the hospital with my Dad. He had what they felt was possibly a stroke the other day so he got lots of tests and an overnight hospital stay. He wasn’t to happy about it…and who could blame him. Being tested and poked and pricked all day is not a day any of us would want.
I had plans of course…plans of Co-op…teaching etc…but people stepped up for me and took care of what was needed…helped get my child to classes as well….and as I walked by the other rooms…I did some thinking…places like the ER always do.
I’ve set in despair at an ER…told my first husband didn’t make it…after his car accident. I think everyone thinks how they will react…and let me tell you…I was numb…completely numb. Didn’t really manage to make any sentences…just kept trying to grasp the words out of the doctors mouth.
I’ve sat and waited as my toddlers fever went to 104 down to a normal rate…no ear infection they said…don’t know what’s wrong..
I’ve sat and waited on asthma attacks and I myself have been a victim of the ER when I broke my leg during a 5K (yes, I finished the race…just a hairline fracture) didn’t hurt until I STOPPED running!
As I walked to my car to go home and fix dinner for my family…strangely aware of what happens in that parking lot…panic…fear…despair…joy…praise…relief…so many emotions.
The list…the endless crazy checklist….the endless to do list…the school list, the things I’m gonna improve list…the things I’m gonna make, create, organize, decorate list…the ministry list, the cleaning list…the clean the floors to a crazy shine list…you know what list you have that makes you a mess if it’s not completed…and for me…usually, it’s all the lists that I just listed.
On my weekend away I had some time to reflect…time to think..:and some time to re-evaluate. It was kind of crazy…and every time I think about it…something even bigger than I imagined comes to distract me…and I’m not even kidding.
This year for Christmas…I’m actually going to try to enjoy it…I’m not gonna have homemade everything….and I’m not gonna feel guilty about it…I’m gonna decorate similar to last year….because last year I took it way WAY Way down…but I work in retail….and I have a secret to share….most of us….dislike the holidays….I didn’t say it was good…but we do. Most people in retail hate it because of rude shoppers, I can tell you…that’s not my problem. I have awesome and wonderfully sweet customers….but like my family….I like to go over the top with my store…making the holidays taking every single tiny bit of joy out of me…I’m literally so happy for the 26th of December…that it’s probably very wrong….and you know why??? Because I was trying to make everything perfect and lovely…my pictures actually made me tired…
We instagram and Facebook and Snapchat ourselves to death…and guess what??? I can’t compete with those with 108 thousand followers(and after the rude comments they get, I don’t think I want to!) so…I’m gonna take Er down a notch…nobody to impress…just here I am…take it or leave it…no worries.
I’m gonna do yoga twice a week , instead of twice a month. I’m gonna start running again. I’m gonna finish the books I have on my nightstand (the ones that help my spiritual life, not just the fun ones) I’m gonna finish my gem class…I’m gonna take spontaneous field trips (whoa, I’m getting out of control now)
What do you want this holiday season??? It’s upon us…it’s coming…what are you signing up for? The crazy train? Or the slow me down train? I’ve never boarded anything else beside the crazy train, so this will be an adventure!
All ABOARD!!!!
The Reluctant Red Nose 