So…my Dad gave us a scare last week…we thought he was having a stroke. My Mom is having some health issues and my sister is battling breast cancer….and…I felt I was juggling all the “things” pretty well.
Then, my son texts me that he thinks he has a concussion and then….he went to see the doctor and he does…and I’m just kind of undone.
I sat in church on Sunday….irritated….mad at God…I kept screaming at him “aren’t we good people??? And we still keep getting crap happen in our lives! Can we NOT get a break?”
He then reminded me of a blessing he had just given us this last week…but I’m so quick to judge…and demand.
Yes….I replied…yes.
Still, I sang not one word of worship….I read not one word of scripture….I sat there as a 44 year old woman….and had an actually pity party.
I was mad because of circumstances that were unfair…and people being petty. I’ve been annoyed at people driving horribly on the interstate and their lack of knowledge of acceleration ramps.
Lately, I’ve even been to annoyed to shop in actual stores (even though I’m pretty happy with the time and money it saves me with pickup).
I’ve been annoyed at my employees….I cannot seem to make them happy. Annoyed when I’m at charity events because I feel that people should GIVE more for crying out loud! Annoyed at Facebook postings, annoyed at family members…annoyed…
I even found myself annoyed at the moon tonight…seriously….the moon???
All I have wanted lately is to spend days and days at my home and never come out…never speak with anyone…never interact….not because I’m necessarily MAD at anyONE person….I’m just mad at the universe it would seem.
I’m tired of parents who hurt their kids, young men that kill innocent women because they broke up with them…I’m sick of watching the news and seeing everyone yell at each other. Who has the biggest insults? I’m tired of hearing the words “militant” and “rise up”. I’m tired of people asking for jobs and then not wanting to work for them…surprised that we expect them to show up. I’m tired of women who accuse others with no basis…they just say whatever they want…and we are supposed to believe them. I’m tired of people being able to ruin my reputation because they feel like it and can say whatever they want…even though it’s a ridiculous lie. I’m tired…of the shouting…the mean spirit…the selfish people…and ALL the movements.
I remember that the only time I heard politics was around the holiday table…and after everyone shared their opinion…we moved on…and ate with one another…and hugged each other….even though our house was divided…we were happy to be with each other because that’s what this country was…it was made for you and me…but now…
It’s divided and it’s cranky…and it watches the news far to much.
While at a charity event the other night, they were trying to raise money against human trafficking….and as I sat there….I was undone as I always am when watching that video….
What have we become as a society? Where life isn’t valued…and people want to take someone’s life simply because they disagree. Where we shoot each other because someone pulled in front of me. We honk at each other because someone is t moving fast enough. We won’t applaud another’s success because that means we didn’t get it. We refuse to lend a helping hand because what’s in it for me? We let our kids be babysat by electronic devices because we are to tired to even say no. We Medicate ourselves and drink ourselves every weekend….and all I can say is…for what???
What is your purpose? What is my purpose? Is it just to achieve wealth!? Things?
Every day I try and think about that…when I’m not getting mad…at the world like a small child.
I say…everyone turn off the news….have a real conversation with someone…and let’s all put our phones down…
The Reluctant Red Nose 