Media

I am not sure if there is a post that makes people more upset than the idea of your child having a cell phone and what age that they should have one.

I offer my opinion, and only MY opinion.  I try to listen to people that are older than me and have been through things with their kids and learn from them.  I offer you what I have learned…and what things that I have put into place for my own children.

First of all, my daughter is 11 and she is homeschooled.  She is either with me, at my store, or my parents house….she is occasionally with friends of mine (and I have their cell phone numbers). She is very rarely home by herself…but I have a backup plan in how she can reach me in that situation.

I personally, would love to be able to disconnect my Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.  However, I own a business….and to delete your social media…is a great way to end your business.  I also keep in contact with my friends (every single one of them live far away from me).

I am starting for the new year, to be able to completely turn my phone off from 6-9 every evening…and checking it before bed (because I do have employees that have problems sometimes, and they need to tell me what is going on. I also have aging parents, and three adult children.)

When we first came on the scene of cell phones, our eldest at the time was 12 or 14.  The phones then offered texting and calling…social media wasn’t really a issue.  She also was the type of child who really didn’t care about social media (at 24 she still doesn’t).  She is very smart, goes to Penn and is working on her PhD.  She clearly doesn’t see the importance of it…and we have always been fine with that.

Our other two children (now adults) have struggled with social media….and I that is why I am changing things for our fourth child.

For all of you that think I just wasn’t vigilant enough…here is a list of what I did….

1. There was a curfew on phones…and they were all to be left in the charging station in my kitchen.
2. I had tracking devices on phones
3. I had software to show which phones had had different programs put on them
4. I took phones away when there was activity on it we didn’t like.
5. I checked messages and they knew it.
6. I had friends who would check their social media.

Here’s the truth: you really have NO way of tracking, checking, knowing it all….at all.

You canNOT protect your children enough….they will go to sites they shouldn’t, they will send texts they shouldn’t….they will do things they are ashamed of…and you will question your parenting.

Now, my kids are adults….I’ve explained the dangers of not getting a job because of what they post on social media…and its up to them for what they do from now on. Now that they are busy into college and jobs…they don’t have the time that they once had for social media….and for that I am grateful.

When we go to dinner with my 11 year old…she draws…that’s her favorite thing to do.  She reads and draws…and yes….her parents have their phones out because they own a business and that’s what we have to do to continue with our business.

My daughter is homeschooled, she has a google chrome….I monitor it, she does school on it.  She does not have her email….she can text her friends at any time with my phone….oh they have begged to even BUY her one…so they can text her.  However, on this I am not wavering.

My son had a cell phone at age 12 because he had basketball practice and scouts, and I could text him and say…”I’m waiting in the van for you.” and I had a baby in the van…and he would come out.  He also didn’t have any internet on that phone…you can’t even buy those anymore.

My daughter does violin, horse riding lessons and swim team (I am with her at all those practices).  She also has coop classes (which I am also with her).

If we lived in the city, and she traveled alone each day on a bus (that would be different)…if she went to a traditional school (that would be different).  If she was at the age of driving (she would have a cell phone.)

However, at the age of 11….I will protect my child’s innocence as long as I can….because I have seen what the internet can do….and just because you haven’t or don’t believe your child could ever….ever….ever…be involved in that….well….take care my friend…because those that don’t think it will ever happen….normally are the same ones sitting there wondering how it did.

Give your kid a book, an art book…a game…a conversation….books on tape…a friend over to jump on the trampoline…baking lessons, embroidery, sewing…swimming, animals….anything….embrace child hood….because soon enough….they will be adults…and manage a million little things…and be on their phones…just like you and me.