Peace

The last couple of outings that I have been on, I’ve had a chance to see some of my friends I don’t get to spend too much time with anymore…simply because we are all going in so many directions. The main complaint I keep hearing…is we are all soo weary.

Raising children is hard. Working from home or part time outside the home, or full time is hard. We make sacrifices no matter which way we choose.

The look on everyone’s face lately…is exhaustion. We long to connect with one another…to hug one another…to sit down to coffee…to chat about our annoyances…and know that those annoyances will go no where else…except for the ones that you personally told.

This year, I changed some things that would give me more peace…and it has been a balm to my weary soul…especially since we have experienced more this year than we wanted to.

However, this year has brought some amazing things…but it has taught me that you can’t buy peace…peace comes from laying down your burdens, your hurts, and becoming somewhat exposed. Saying to others that this is who you are…and if you don’t like it…well, I don’t know what to say.

Do you not find it refreshing when you meet someone who is genuinely real? Who even though they may dress nice, have nice jewelry…that they can make funny jokes…and be completely down to earth? I know those are MY personal favorite people.

I have met and talked to many people from all walks of life…and even though we all drive different cars and sleep in different luxurious beds…we all bleed the same, we all put our clothes on the same…we all hurt the same.

What holds all of us back? Fear…fear that our confidences will be shattered (because many have experienced that). Fear that someone will spread rumors about us, that it will hurt our kids…our business…our futures. We smile at one another…while others get behind their electronic screens and send hateful remarks…to those we are jealous of. We spread lies about one another…we laugh at each other’s misfortune. We snicker at another child’s failure…we have become downright hateful. We raise our daughters to be the same….walk around with an airing superiority, all the while…attending church whenever the doors are open…speaking of Christs love…but rarely really showing it.

We reach out to another and when rejected, declare that we are done…and write every female off that comes near us…because being alone and sad is better than being rejected…but we don’t look to see the explanation…we just assume…I’m guilty of this as well.

I can give you a list of all the mean things that have been said to me that I remember and the list would be very long…and I’m sure that there are many who would say the same of me….but that’s just it…in spite of my “ugliness” I have a God that loves me, that forgives me…and I believe that I have hurt a whole lot more than anyone else.

I want to show love and speak peace. I want to be practical in this…by writing notes each week to those who God lays on my heart…Instead of retreating back to the comfort and confines of my home….I feel the need to step out again…to be seen and be laughed at…to be who I was meant to be…funny, witty, and a peacemaker.

It’s so easy to see the bad in life…to get carried away by negativity…to focus on the hurt and pain that others have caused…but there is no peace in that…no peace for me lives there…so I have to change the ugly…forgive the hurt and insulting things and big lies…and be the peace and joy that He has asked me to be!