I am in a new phase of life…one I didn’t see coming.
After my birthday this year, I needed glasses…and not only glasses…but bifocals of all things…things started appearing on my neck that I’ve never seen…things aches that have never ached…and a surge of worry went through me…have I encountered middle age?
My last baby is twelve…..no more cute Valentines Day boxes. No more Childrens Christmas Programs. No more excitement when I decorate for the holidays…just an exclamation of how it looks pretty..:and then back to regularly scheduled programming. No more excitement over crafts…no more big bows in hair and matching accessories.
When we go on field trips together I walk alone…as she is with her “besties”. This is new territory for me…as before with her older siblings, I always had a baby or a toddler with me…now that that baby is no longer a toddler….I walk alone. No more children’s clothes…I actually cried when I cancelled my Children’s Place card….for the first time in twenty years I no longer far would be shopping there. It came to fast…and yet..:not fast enough…it left me confused…and feeling slightly annoyed.
We are on our very last pre- teen…and because this is our fourth one, I can definitely say…I’m not ready. I’m not ready for drama, tears, clothing struggles…and all the frustration the teen years bring..:but I will say…I’m hoping that my scars from the other three will hold out as badges of honor for the last and final one coming up the ranks.
Things I wish I would have done with the other three.
1. Don’t sweat the small stuff…find a cleaning schedule and an acceptable way of their room that you both can live with. There should be no mold growing on dishes…and I’m pretty big on making the bed…but all three adult children…still have issues with doing so…my nagging didn’t help them ☹️
2. It’s just hair, cut it, color it, grow it out, don’t grow it out…just needs to be clean…that’s all that matters.
3. Phones- the fourth child won’t have one until she’s driving…we’ve made the mistakes…moving on.
4. Not every party that ends up being at our house must be a theme that’s organized and planned to the nines….sometimes, just let them be.
5. They don’t have to be in every sport known to man to be successful people. Find a sport they love and let them excel.
6. Don’t let them have overwhelming schedules. They need time to breathe, read a book. Take a nap…they can’t do that if they are constantly going from One activity to another.
6. Know their friends…..have these friends over. Have chips and drinks and food they like…let your hoUse be the house they come to.
7. Talk to your child about what goals they have. What they want to do with their life…and help them write goals to Achieve that.
8 hire someone to show them how to drive😬😬 I kid, I kid (sorta)
9. Tell your child you love them constantly….and encourage them when they do good things.
10. Take them with you when you serve people in your community…let them meet people different than themselves…let them appreciate all cultures.
Adult children and pre-teens does not a calm life create. However, I do have to sleep…and the only thing that helps is realizing that no matter what…if they are in Gods hands, there is no safer place for them. I pray for good friends, safety…and try to communicate with them.
If they call me and it’s inconvenient…then it just has to be inconvenient…because you never know when you may or may not get another opportunity.
On field trips, I tell her she can hang out with her “besties” for a little bit…and then she and her “besties” need to come hang out with me….because we homeschool…I’m not showing up at field trips because I couldn’t think of anything else to do.
Last but not least, learn from your mistakes. Ask for forgiveness and try to learn from them. I have made huge mistakes…will probably make more…but in the end…we are all just doing our best…and trying to figure it out as we go along. Our children will figure it out as well someday…..they may or may not need a therapist 😬 but they will figure it out!
Enjoy the ride my friend…wow it’s a short one!
The Reluctant Red Nose 