My Favorite

Being a stepmom to two adult women and a mom to an adult son and a pre- teen daughter, gives you a few badges and a lot of wisdom. Well, I think I’m wise…but perhaps because I also feel like I’ve been in battle 😬.

My fourth child was born perfect…she was the absolute dream of what you pray for when you have a daughter. She had beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous curly hair…and there was no one sweeter nor cuter. She was adored by her siblings…and everything about her life was pretty fabulous.

As a baby I knew there were some issues with speech, but I could not get the doctors to listen to me…finally at 18 months I switched doctors, went to one that would listen to me and she got tubes in her ears…because we dealt with constant ear infections. During that time she would have severe “asthma like” episodes that would flare up because of a severe corn allergy…which was never recognized by the medical community. This was when I sought more homeopathic methods. We completely cleaned up our diets…made everything from scratch. I started my soap business, I changed the way I clean…absolutely every single thing. Finally at age five she had her tonsils and adenoids removed and the doctors were amazed at how big they were and said how they should have come out sooner. 🤦🏼‍♀️

We had to seek a speech therapist because she had delayed speech. I had to hold her back a year because I knew she would struggle to keep up until she could read.

We were in speech therapy for two years. We circled emergency rooms many a night trying to get our daughter to be able to breathe clearly. I fought with doctors over and over again that she was indeed allergic to corn and anything with corn in it. I had some doctors who listened and some that didn’t. Finally, at age nine it all just went away….and we haven’t looked back since.

During that time, when she had tubes in her ears and we would go to the pool she had to wear a special headband so that it wouldn’t damage the tubes in her ears. I was grateful to the new products that had been introduced so that she could swim like the other kids…what I wasn’t used to was the parents. People who at first would keep their kids away from my sweet baby in her princess swimsuit with a band around her head. Others would just flat out ask what it was…Then I would say she has tubes in ears and they would act soo relieved. For the first time ever, I had a small idea what those with handicapped children went through and it made me furious.

Any activities we would go to she could not participate at for parties, because it was soo hard to explain to her that she couldn’t eat the food that others had. We didn’t go to parades, or parties…because it would always involve sickness that would then blow into an attack and then we were out of activities for at least two weeks. The hardest part was how lonely it was…how that my son missed out on things too…but thankfully he had friends who would just let him tag along.

Ellie was invited to things but my friends were soo terrified that they would give her something wrong and I felt terrible for their anxiety. I just started bringing her own food to things.

Please hear me…I am not comparing food allergies to physical disabilities or mental disabilities and saying they are the same…I am not at all saying I understand how hard that is.

I am just saying that I absolutely have a teeny tiny understanding of what it’s like to have a kid that is different.

My Ellie does not have food allergies anymore…but she walks to the beat of her own drum. She’s louder than the other kids…and sometimes she doesn’t fit in. She’s sensitive, she loves animals, she’s smart…she’s funny and she’s very talented with art.

She loves to swim, hates sports with balls…and loves music.

If she wasn’t my fourth child, I probably would have tried to push her into the mold of every normal young girl…because I would want her to fit in. As I listen to her giggling with her friends at the kitchen table…I can honestly say…I no longer care.

You know why?

I don’t fit in….and I never will. I never did…and instead of focusing on how all our children should fit in this special mold…we should embrace their differences.

If you asked me about my least favorite color…it would be…beige. You know why? It doesn’t stand out…it just exists.

I don’t ever want to be like the color beige…I don’t want my kids to be like the color beige. All of us contribute to this world in a range of color…and I’m grateful for all the colors…even my favorite color which is robin egg blue.

So, in a world of beige…be a great color…find your favorite…dare to be different, dare to be who God made you to be…and enjoy all the variety that people bring to this world!