Today, I felt it…that little bit of panic that starts to come when I start planning the next several months adventures.
Like many of you, I have fabulous ideas of what our summer should hold…but the pocketbook and the schedule will soon collide…and then prioritizing the schedules…and what we want to do.
My daughter loves the arts, and animals and swimming….and we just….can’t…do…all the things.
I refuse to be the parent that is living in her car, eating fast food and counting down the days for all the adventures to be over. I feel that that creates tension, tears, and whining (and that’s just me…Much less my child).
My daughter has told me that she wants to do drama, swim team, horse lessons and camp, and art camp….and this Momma knows…not all those things can possibly happen.
I’m grateful to live in a town where we have so many amazing opportunities…..but this is when I feel we completely lose it as parents.
I’m not telling you what I will choose…because it will be a discussion I will have with my daughter my husband and myself…budget and time are the most important items here…but this is when I feel extreme pressure….and not really from anyone but myself.
With my son, I would always feel that I chose the wrong thing…that if I chose wrong I would stunt his growth in a sport and he would lose all the opportunities in the world!!
But ya know what? He didn’t play soccer and he is still in college. He played basketball for a few years and he’s still surviving…and track didn’t work out due to an injury…but still…he’s able to function.
Right now, I can feel the panic settling in…my chest is tightening…as I figure out what to do, and how will they all get done…but…I will continue to push down the crazy…and embrace what makes our lives full and happy. Are we able to contribute to society? Is every activity we are involved in making an impact in our lives for good…or are they just noise? Is the sports or drama, or art I’m giving her a chance at improving going to increase her portfolio, her experiences with what she wants to do in life? Did we leave time for her to enjoy youth? Or did we just fill it up with so much noise we can’t hear anything else?
That’s the questions I ask myself as I fill her calendar and mine.
I don’t want to leave this earth someday…without ever touching the lives of others…because I was too busy to do so…but I also don’t want to fill her time with things that didn’t fulfill her.As I look back at my own childhood…I hated piano…until I was really good at it. Then it gave me confidence when other things I did poorly were lacking. I enjoyed choir and drama…and writing…and excelled in our school newspaper.
The best part of my childhood and teen years…were the times spent with friends…and parties…and hanging out…it wasn’t all the functions we attended…and trust me…there were plenty of those.
I am not telling ANYONE how to live their lives…I just know…I don’t feel like raising my last child to be exhausted and begging for the days when we can stay home…childhood goes quickly anyway…let’s take it a little slower.
The Reluctant Red Nose 