This Is My Story

Many of you that have followed my blog know my background and how I was raised. As an adult I have come to some good and some bad conclusions.

I was raised in a legalistic fundamental church. I was taught that women are smart, should be educated and revered. We were taught that raising children and being married was highly encouraged…but I remember many single women and don’t remember anything being said negatively about being single.

I remember not being able to swim with the boys. I could not show my knees or my shoulders. Dress checks were a normal way of life, even my wedding dress was put through “dress check”. This was normal…none of this was scary…this was what was expected.

On school trips boys were on one bus, girls on the other…especially overnight trips. Those that were dating were allowed to sit the front half of the bus during daylight hours…I wasn’t dating so this did not affect me.

There was a tight rein on music. Steve Green was considered unholy and we were told not to listen to it. Any Grant was of the devil. During chapel they would even say that certain tempos could cause heart attacks…🤦🏼‍♀️ seriously, not made up…that is a true statement.

During school I was angry, mean and suffered from depression. I was told that I needed to confess my sins and those feelings would go away. As a result, I had an eating disorder which took me years to gain control of.

I was accused of being with boys (I didn’t have a boyfriend). I was accused of bringing magazines to school that were not mine. I was given “fake” friends to keep an eye on me…..and to this day…if I see a man in a short sleeve dress shirt carrying a Bible I have a panic attack. I’m serious, my husband will vouch for me.

The people that I just described, are NOT bad people. They are actually good people who misinterpreted scripture horribly. They thought they were doing the right thing….but they were as far from what God wants us to be as you can possibly be…and for that I feel sorry for them.

So many people want to put “Christ followers” in one category…the truth is you can’t. Because we are all human, we make human errors.

Anytime there is a crisis in the world where they need help with food and water…who answers the call? The church…the church does. Orphanages, homeless shelters, disaster relief…most of these are either completely headed or greatly supported by churches.

Cleaning up of the neighborhoods in our town…is usually done by the churches. Feeding the children in our town, done by the most precious saint you’ve ever met. Getting the homeless off the street and getting into the workforce? Done by a fabulous Christian organization in our town. Helping the fight against sex trafficking? Again, done by amazing Christian people.

There are always going to be extremists…and they have caused lots of damage. The way I used to view myself was NOT how God viewed me. He is not waiting in heaven to pounce on me when I do something wrong. Those with diseases or handicapped are not that way because God is judging them. Those that are extremely successful doesn’t mean that God is showing them special favor.

It has taken me years and years and probably more years to fully understand the love that God has for me.

Sunday at our evangelical church…with our praise leader with tattoos and torn jeans and his arms lifted to heaven….my husband playing electric guitar…the drums beating, and all hands around me lifted (including mine) and I closed my eyes…grateful for the good, the bad…and all the amazing opportunities that He has given me. The dark valleys, the great mountaintops, the lonely places….that’s where He is…not the dress codes, the rules, the ridiculous rules.

Go live how Christ has asked you to live..holy and morally….kind and forgiving…honestly and carefully….exalting others before ourselves.