May I Not Forget

Anyone else amazed by how quickly tears come nowadays? I feel like I’m one chocolate bar away from breaking down, and other days…I’m not sure I can hold on much longer.

The other day I was getting my nails done….and I heard a little voice start singing “the rainbow song”. I’ve never heard the rainbow song…but that sweet little voice made all of us tear up…how long it has been since we have heard little voices sing.

A baby woke up from a nap today in a restaurant we ate at (social distancing was being done). The baby started crying….and I was so happy to hear it…a baby…a new life…and I just felt that we as adults have to do better.

The shouting and screaming and anger…the hate..the senseless violence…and who suffers? The littlest among us.

As I explained to my daughter about masks and hand sanitizer and social distancing I was mad that I had to tell her that…but then I remembered all the moms who have had to so way worse things than me.

To the mom in a bomb shelter with her children as she heard the planes bomb her city in France. To the mom in Africa that had no water for her children. To the Mom in India, who had no art supplies or shoes for her children. For the Jewish mom who has to explain why they were getting on a train. For the mom who hugged her children goodbye as she went off to fight in the first gulf war. To the mom who went to work in the trade center on that fateful day. To the mom with cancer who tells her son goodbye before he’s even begun living . To the mom who had to explain to her son that he’s not liked because of his skin color. To the Mother who put her son to bed in his own room and kissed him goodnight to only lose him to violence as he lay sleeping in his own home. To the mom who explained away the bruises on her arm, to the Mom who has to sell herself to feed her children…and I realize../these “annoyances” could be so much more. I have nothing to complain about.

I hate that my son is missing opportunities in his college classes and his college experience. I hate that my daughter didn’t have swim team and I hate that we can’t travel, and that so many bucket lists items I had didn’t get to get checked off. I hate that my store was closed…that I lost staff…I hate that people are sick. I dislike all the businesses that have been left in ruins through looting and hatred or having to be closed. I hate all the dreams that have been shattered..all the plans that have been changed. All the lives that have been lost.

I miss my friends that live in faraway places that I can’t see because our country is pretty much closed. I hate that we are having the same fights that we’ve had for years…I’m tired. I’m sad that our children still see hatred and violence…I hate that there are so many confusing messages.

So for me….I’m gonna keep on going…..

I’m gonna go see some waterfalls….