How do You Covid?

I should be packing for a day trip…but I’m sitting here drinking coffee, late afternoon…trying to become motivated.

I want to go on an adventure, which is where this whole weekend trip started.

2020 was supposed to be so many things, for some many people. Which is why…it’s all so disappointing. I was going places, I was checking things off…this was THE year.

Like many of you, I’ve learned that lesson the hard way. I’ve cried about it. I kept thinking we would catch up. I thought perhaps by now it would be a distant memory…but alas…Covid, remains to literally plague us all.

I’ve yelled at China…(I’m sure they heard me). I’ve yelled at people on tv destroying others property. I’ve cried as I’ve given disappointment after disappointment to my children. I’ve cried and been anxious when we were made to shut our business down in the middle of a booming economy. I’ve been called all sorts of names for wanting to work. I’ve been called foolish for thinking kids should go back to school…and I sit down and think…I give up.

I say “Uncle” to it all!!!

We have allowed my daughter to see a few friends and they has kept her sane during this time….I listen to them laugh and chat…and it almost brings me to tears.

I’ve promised myself I would catch up on projects and fitness…and yet, here I am….first day off in a long time…and I’m….soooo…..tired.

I’ve unfollowed all the people on Facebook, I’ve turned off all the news channels. I barely know what the weather is gonna be like much less what’s going on in the world. I feel like I’m moving under this heavy fog…and the only thing keeping me going….is well…right now? Chocolate….chocolate and coffee.

I miss people….yet people irritate me. I can’t go grocery shopping anymore without screaming inside my head anymore. I wear a mask, carry hand sanitizer. I have my debit card in front pocket so I don’t have to get my wallet out…and there’s all those stupid arrows! I give up on the arrows….I’m breaking the rules. Thankfully Sams got rid of them…because this girl was like…nah….I’m gonna rip these puppies up right now!

I go from crying at every commercial, to wanting to say bad words and drink lots of alcoholic beverages. Even though the people that know me know I can hardly handle half of a Seagrams wine cooler and that’s the gospel truth.

I bawl at church when we sing because I miss people so much. I bawl when everyone leaves and then laugh when we get outside and I see everyone throw off their masks like all we as women have done since we had to wear bras. We rip them off as soon as we get home with the same explanation of satisfaction to be “free”. I giggle to myself EVERY time.

I’m sick of the mask debate…tired of the political debate. Sick of watching the hatred of others as they destroy people’s property. I hate watching the divide become larger and larger. I’m tired of people bashing each other in vaccinations and bashing people sending their kids back to school…and I just want to get off this planet…but I’m stuck here.

I feel guilty for complaining when things are not as bad as we perceive them to be…and they could be so much worse and they are not.

I miss doing outreach, and making people smile…but when people ask me to do something for outreach, I have to think about it? Seriously? Why?

How do you Covid right now? Are you eating your feelings like me? Are you trying to do yoga but failing everyday because you ….just…don’t…want to?

Are you trying to push it all down by going on adventures when you can? But missing all the traveling you used to take for granted…and now realize how important it was!

Girls, I’m going kayaking….I’ve never been….and now I’m going camping again, because this girl figured out what that horrible sound in the woods is (stupid owl, I’m coming for ya!) and I’m NOT afraid anymore.

I’ve been through worse…and I came out swinging…..

But first….a little nap….don’t want to overdo it😬😬😬😬