Like everyone here in the Midwest, I’m very sick of covid. I’m so happy that we have had such lovely and warm days here lately. It has definitely helped with my anxiety. I don’t know why…it just has.
I was always hopeful that as an adult I would crave less sweets and always want to drink water and exercise…Covid has taught me that left to my own devices, I would surely spend it differently. I imagine I would be covered in candy bar wrappers and watching Netflix so much it actually checks in on me. Thankfully, my husband knows me well…and even though I may pout like a five year old lately. He offers me cream slushes from sonic…and what do you know!? I can walk four miles for a hike! I feel so much better when I get out and about and move around. My whole entire outlook changes. But I remain stubborn…and I want to sit in my corner…and try to forget what all is going on.
My joy for hand sanitizer, in the beginning was elated….now I find myself being critical of the runny ones and shaking my head like some cantankerous old lady. I find myself irritated at dried out wipes to wipe off carts and glaring at people who don’t have their masks over their nose. I find myself abandoning lipstick, because it just ends up on my mask anyway.
I no longer put my thermometer up…it sits out daily for me to take my temp twenty times a day. Because at least twice a day, I’m sure I have the Rona.
Events we were looking forward to for next year have already been canceled. My husband is trying to get me to book flights for events…and I’ve become like Eyore…”probably gonna be canceled anyway.” And so far….I’ve been right.
My husband has had to talk me off the ledge so much he should be certified in psychology. I have thought the end of the world was coming at least four times in just this year.
I finally had to speak with someone because I seriously wanted to crawl in a hole with my blanket and let the whole world just burn itself to the ground. I was pretty sure that was going to happen anyway.
Right now, all of us control freaks are having issues. Those of us, who are planners, are sitting around painting and decorating something…anything that will stand still. I liked to see what’s coming….and so far I could have not predicted absolutely anything about this year or next unless I was in a drug induced state.
The only thing we have going for is right now is those that have shown themselves with the memes….the memes have carried us through.
Today, as I was leaving Sams…I looked around at the town I lived in. There was masks everywhere…and on everyone. Still, I will say I was met with smiles. I have now learned how to read a smile with a mask. I was happy for each and every sales associate I met, they were kind and happy….which means they themselves have been treated that way thus far.
As I rushed to my parents house to bring them a microwave (theirs died today) I was grateful. Grateful that I live in a country where I can get a microwave immediately. I am grateful that I have so much food in my house I could feed a small city. Grateful for my car and my home and all the blessings that we have in our life. I’m overwhelmed with our community how they support small businesses and how they have supported us. I’m grateful for the people that I have met doing amazing things in our community.
So many things to be anxious about…and I’m right there with you. However, there are more things to be grateful about than anxious.
I just wish I would remember that….before I have to be brought back from the ledge. We can do this!!!
The Reluctant Red Nose 