Though The Trials Come

My father has always been the strongest man I know. He could fix anything. He would call me and tell me to make sure my hose was not connected to the house in the winter. He did countless home improvement projects for my sisters and myself. Taught me how to properly paint. Taught me how to keep meticulous records of my oil changes. Taught me how to drive in the snow, and always keep your gas tank at least halfway full.

He taught me how to drive in the city, and when to use my blinker and when to not. He taught me how to merge on the Highway, and to Never stop. He taught me how to work hard, and never give up. He taught me how not to be taken advantage of and how to stand up for myself. He taught me how to ride a bike by pushing me down a hill on a gravel road, and yes I did figure it out. He took me camping and fishing and canoeing and taught me how anything can be fixed.

He had a great sense of humor…was never shy and was the hardest working man I know. Working seven days a week at General Mills so my sister and I could go to a private school and live in a nice house.

For the past couple of years I’ve helped with a few things. Taking he and my mother to doctor appointments and helping them with the checkbook (something my dad could always do with ease). During Covid I did a lot…and then the last six months what I had feared came true.

Not sure if you have ever sat in a doctors office and listened to the answers your father has given to the doctor and cried on the inside…but that’s what happened. As he struggled to answer the questions of what season we were in and what month…I felt helpless and sad.

The doctor confirmed what I already knew…he said it to me low enough so that my Dad couldn’t hear. Some type of Alzheimer’s…not sure what one. He prescribed medication to begin immediately and then we have more appointments with the neurologist to confirm the doctors opinion.

When my mom went in to get my dads pills my Dad continually kept saying how dumb he felt for giving the wrong answers…my only reply I could give is that sometimes I forget what day it is…because I do.

I haven’t allowed myself to cry yet…the doctor says he’s hoping this will slow it down…

Will time just slow down? Can we all just get back to when things were happy and people were not sick and life was beautiful!?

Why does life has be to be soo cruel and take people before I’m ready to say goodbye? I have no idea what to expect…I have no idea how to navigate…but I will figure it out one day at a time.