These days are weird…there is no doubt about it. Some days I feel that I’m making solid decisions…gaining on my goals…and then Easter comes. The trials of the Cadbury eggs and the Reese Peanut Butter cup…have mercy upon me!
I worked out in advance of the Cadbury eggs debacle….but alas…the flesh is weak. Today I felt like a short tubby woman who wears a T-shirt like Pooh. I was feeling all sorts of down on myself.
It seems that when we feel like a failure in one thing…it’s not long until all the failures come down on us at once.
So, since I started this blog years ago to be real…let me just continue.
This is Satans finest hour with me…the “not good enough hour.” I show up for it each and every time. I’m not good enough at clowning…not good enough at keyboard playing. I’m not pretty anymore…I’m old and washed up. All sorts of people make better soap than me. I’m not a very good wife and Mom and I’ve made tons of mistakes as a Mom and stepmom…and there I sit. I sit there with my shirt that fits like Pooh…feeling inadequate in all things. Oh I forgot, horrible homeschool Mom, horrible business owner:..horrible ukele player.
I then look at relationships, past hurts where I was treated me outright wrong…and those that did the deed…and once again…say to myself this is what I deserve.
There is truth to that…it is what I deserve…it’s what we all deserve.
The fact that I have to acknowledge, but in the end keep going back to…is even though this is what I believe…it is not what our Creator believes about me. He believes I’m amazing…and He loves me and cares for me more than I can even imagine.
Life is full of mistakes. My life is full of mistakes. I wish I could change it …but I have now grown old enough to realize that my biggest mistakes gave me my biggest blessings.
I will always fail…but God doesn’t. There are days that many of my accomplishments don’t feel like accomplishments…but I continue to try. I continue to push myself…and God continues to show up…and I’m always amazed at how He works through me.
When you feel that whisper…or screaming that you are NOT enough. Remember that the creator of the universe believes you are…so much so He took the time to create you…and only you can accomplish the task He has asked for you to do!
The Reluctant Red Nose 