Zero Stars

It’s been a while since I have been sick….like have to go to the doctor sick…..but here I am. So happy to be here with my snotty coughing self.

I’m on a strong antibiotic and I was prescribed a pill for my cough….but sadly I have to wait until tomorrow before that will be available.

For the last two weeks I have been at the doctors office with either my daughter or myself. Out of nowhere, our immunity crashed and burned. I haven’t worked out faithfully in over two weeks. Today, when I got on the scale I learned I now weigh even more….I realize I have lost inches and muscle weighs more than fat…but wow…my self worth took a nose dive.

It does not help that I am now on camera at my church while playing keyboard and I am a little more concerned than I used to be.

It seems that this is what always happens to me on my fitness journey. Anytime I actually start succeeding….something happen to stop that success.

Sometimes, I just want to throw in the towel and say I’m gonna be chubby and eat chocolate because that’s easier. That is a comfort…that will give me joy…but it never does. Just like the bad friend who constantly leads you to poor eye shadow choices and haircuts…those aren’t your true friends.

Every time I get on that rowing machine it’s a battle…every time I step on the machine of leg pain…I know my biggest enemy is me.

Those voices that say you are too old…too washed up…not pretty…just a mom…too chubby…short girls are always chubby…

The voices that tell you your first husband left you…you weren’t good enough for him…why should he stay? Almost 18 years is long enough!

That always leads to more destructive thought patterns that nothing I do is good enough. It doesn’t take long…and I am back to the scary places we haven’t been in years.

All because I got sidetracked….all because I let the hurdle I needed to jump paralyze me. I couldn’t possibly just jump…..

It is when we are alone and discouraged that deceptive thoughts creep in. It’s when we allow the lies to take over the truth.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made, by the ONE true Creator. He has things for me to accomplish that only I can accomplish…and the same goes for you.

Each day you are given is a day that you were given as a gift and you have much to give in return!

Don’t give up… don’t give in.