Push Past

The theme for this year is push past it. Push past the pounds you gained during quarantine. Push past the stress that the world is putting on all of us right now…just keep pushing.

There are days…I’m done pushing. I can’t take one more negative feedback, one more person telling me where I failed…or one more wrinkle just daring me to give up.

There are days I feel like superwoman. I can manage my sales floor, help my husband manage our store, play every note perfect on the keyboard for church, and feel completely in the zone when I clown. I contribute eloquently during our weekly Bible Study, and then lead a successful meeting. Arrive to my appointments on time and remember to drop off all soap orders for my second business to all those asking. I can have all papers graded for homeschooling and get all checks out and matching invoices with no issues or mistakes whatsoever. I can go to meetings and listen and encourage instead of taking up all the time…and then…other weeks…

I feel as if I should just set a match to everything. I forget to drop my child at youth or get there thirty minutes later. Forget to clown at an event I promised I would be at…forget appointments and lessons and go weeks without working out and eating cupcakes.

I have yet to experience the super woman weeks..but I hear they are amazing.

I have to push past this week that is filled with busy but all good things…and be thankful for the past four days with my son….

My brain and heart and body hurts. It’s hard to listen to the voice of push past. Right now it hurts too much, I can’t see what’s on the other side of the mountain…and I want to stay here where it’s at least familiar.

I know happiness awaits if I can push past but I seem to be struggling to find the willpower to continue.

I can’t help it…I don’t like it when people don’t like me, or tell lies. I don’t like it when people have treated me horribly unfairly and still get to act like they are victims. what do you do with that?

It’s easy to say…forget them and leave them there in the past…but almost impossible to do so.

Whatever your burdens you carry…or weight you feel on you…you can’t carry alone. For me, I pick them up…lay at Jesus feet…then pick them up again…perhaps I can push past that? Soon!!?