The Empty Driveway

Each year that goes by you would think it would get easier…but it does not. I’m not sure how it happened so quickly…but it did. My boy cub, became a man child…almost overnight.

He came home early…three days early to surprise me.

I sat there in shock as he walked through the door. My mind couldn’t not process that he was in front of me. I was so happy since I was not taking it well that he would not be at home for his birthday….

Sadly, I had two staff members gone so I didn’t get as much time with him as I would have hoped to…but that’s what happens when you own a business…your kids and family have to take a backseat to nearly everything.

Today…..all four of our kids were home….

We have one PhD, almost one with his Bachelors degree from one of the top Journalism schools in the country, and one who dreams of being an artist and already has her top colleges down for where she wants to go. ,

Today, our house was loud….like it used to be. The driveway was full…the food and dishes were piled high…the laughter was loud…and it was like music to my husband and my ears.

They begged to do a funny pic….this is what they instantly did….

They are healthy and happy…..and I am thankful for that. They are all figuring things out at the different places they are in their lives. They are all uniquely different and uniquely talented. None of these children were given “participation” awards. When they were handed one, they said thank you and threw them in the trash. They knew this Mamma….we don’t take those home. You don’t get a ribbon for showing up. That’s not real life.

As quickly as our house filled with noise….the noise began to fade…as the cars left….one went back to college town because he has to work early tomorrow morning….the other two went off to their mothers…we will see them tomorrow night…and the youngest went to her room…lonely that her siblings have once again left.

As I speak to those Mommas who have gone on before me in their parenting of adults…they’ve told me to prepare for the “scraps” we are given. To make the most of them.

The difficult part of all this…is when they are the “ugliest” they get to stay with you…when all the hard work and labor is done…and they become these adult people we like again…they no longer live with you.

Today all four of them cleaned the kitchen…put food away…no complaints…they do this everyday already in their own apartments. No fighting over who got away with what…just all helping each other.

Before I was ready for it….when I had just gotten used to the contented feeling in my stomach of my man cub sleeping under my roof in his own bed…it was over. Before I knew it…the car was backing out of the driveway…the time gone in an instant…

I hugged him one last time before he left. He whispered he would be back in three weeks. Promised he had made his bed and cleaned his trash before he left (a first mind you). then…he was off.

If I was a braver Mom, I would stand on the porch and wave goodbye…but I can’t do it without crying…so I watch it on our security camera…too afraid to let anyone know my heart is breaking. My man cub…is ready to fly.

My heart beats fast as I count down the hours until he should be back at school…and wait for the text that he’s arrived…when will I be ok with him leaving…probably never.

I will never get used to the empty driveway….but I am thankful and grateful…that they all know their way home…that I can fill their bellies with their favorite things. That they are safe and sound and cared for…that they are always welcome…that our home is a safe haven. That while they are here…nothing bad can happen. May my driveway not be empty long. May the loud noise come back soon with lots of sleepovers…

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.