Everyone Wants to Be Remembered

I’m not sure what is going on with my movie choices lately…but death seems to be the theme…and every time we watch a movie I spend the nights crying.

Lately, I seem to be surrounded by it…so many suffering with unexpected deaths of loved ones. My heart breaks for all of them.

I do not know what it is about this time of year…when fall folds into winter…the amazing sunsets…cutting of wood. It all takes me back to my childhood….I can hear my dad with the chainsaw. I can smell the gas from it, the familiar thud as we threw the logs in the trailer to go back to the house. The wood burning stove, the smell of chili…cornbread…warmth.

I can hear the nightly drone of the television…the excitement of my warm electric blanket that I’m sure caused cancer…but man did I think I was awesome having one.

I can see the barn and hear the horses running…sitting on the fence posts…dogs running…the smell of puppies. In that moment, I remember being eight…the world seemed large…my future seemed to last forever…now those I knew…have age in their faces. Those who seemed old before…seem even older now….and I find myself confused at the face that looks back at me in the mirror.

Time is all I seemed to have then. The worst part of life was remembering my lunch and my homework and hating math…always hating math.

Tonight, a sign I ordered for my mantle came….

And I can hear this song on the record player…how I would dance around the star candle holder that came out at Christmas. My mother always made our house look amazing at Christmas.

The older I get…the more I realize how fast time is fleeting…and how I want to remember all of the things…the memories, the people, the events of life.

I think that’s why I love photos as much as I do. That helps me keep the memories in order..:like markers. I find that that’s what I do in directions as well.. I have markers to get me to and from places…I do it in hiking as well. Perhaps it’s a control thing.

So next time you get our your phone to take pictures…and everyone complains…remember that’s your “marker” to help you remember…the moment you spent with those you love.