For about 18 years I have been jealous of those that get to enjoy Christmas. For many years I started actually hating the holidays…and I still have to fight it.
I am jealous of those who have days where they can bake together, have gingerbread house contests and who can go caroling with their church. These are things we never get to do and will never be able to do.
Many years I have felt guilty that my children miss out on those things…but after Christmas is over…we get to enjoy all the things.
Right now my husband and I live at our store. We work ten hour days…we have contests and for the first time ever I have someone helping me with social media..but it still remains a two person job. I have the biggest staff I have ever had going through Christmas and it still is so busy. We remain grateful to live in a community that continues to support us.
This year we had the privilege of being a part of creating a pendant given to the graduates of an amazing program here in our town. The SOS house. It get women off the street who have been trafficked, drug abuse…and it works…such amazing people that are working so hard to make our town a better place!
These are things that I’m grateful for, that we get to be a part of.
I enjoy seeing customers who I only see once or twice a year. I enjoy hugs from our customers, people that have struggled with loss and illness…our customers are our friends. We don’t take any of them for granted. As a business we strive to bring the best quality back to our town, so that our customers can have the best of the best. Our dedication comes with sacrifice. Our kids are on the back burners, our family is on the back burners…my house could be cleaner…but there is no other way.
A small business owner has to make those decisions…and sometimes they feel very lonely. I would love to go ice skating and do all the Christmas things…but my child will not lose out …even though things look different. She has a front row seat on how her family survives.
We try to have fun things so that our staff and our children don’t feel that it’s all work and no play…
Our dog comes a lot….he is a favorite…
We play pranks on each other….hiding office supplies in jello.
We have contests….we try and love on our staff…and the days fly by.
Then the day after Christmas we rest…and relax…and enjoy all the things.
My Christmas this year is weird…my adult son will be home a very short time. My youngest is almost 15…and the excitement of Christmas is still there but not like when they were little.
No more footed pjs running down the stairs snd screams of delight…no more wrapping paper frenzies….it’s all soo good…but yet…changed so fast. No toys under the tree…no dolls….art supplies and appliances…
I’m mourning the loss…but trying to embrace the here end now…the change in my career and my role is different…and it calls for compromise. However, with that change comes some amazing opportunities and adventures. With these changes comes time to experiment with some other roles I’ve been to busy to pursue…
My son will never sleep in his bed night after night….my daughters time is going by at warp speed…but so goes the progression with life.
In my head I have it all worked out how each holiday goes…but there not reality. I have three adult children with three adult work schedules and school schedules…so the cost is greater…then opportunities are fewer…but we just make the most of what we do have.
The slow days at home for baking and laundry going all day and candles burning while school is being held are fewer now…but still exist. The opportunities for travel are new on the horizon..but only come because of the shift of change. my priorities have changed…things I thought I could control I cannot…things that I thought I could be responsible for are now being changed to someone else. I’m learning to give away control…but learning freedom through that.
Christmas…fewer family…less time…more work…more rewards later. An exhausting holiday that I once hated…becomes a different perspective and changes my feelings on it entirely.
Don’t focus on the few cranky customers…the missing caroling and missing baking…and concentrate on being able to have a front row seat on the lives of so many others. Finding out about their families, their adventures…dreams, accomplishments. Shaking hands, getting hugs and letting someone else love on your dog (he truly is ridiculous)
Have a good one! We are almost there!
The Reluctant Red Nose 