Last week I said I was done clowning…the world seemed to be going down in flames. Schools are closing because staff is sick. My own staff is sick…this week even I have been sick and missed three days of work (which hasn’t happened for quite some time).
However, this week I was asked to clown for an event in the spring…and of course I said yes…because…dare I hope…dare I even try to imagine?
The one things you would have thought all of us would know by now is NOT to plan anything…but we do…and sometimes the plans get to work out. Sometimes, they do not.
I think sometimes I look at this all wrong. I am a planner…I like to know what life is gonna throw at me. Sometimes, life throws things that I never ever imagined would come…and had I known they were coming I would have ran for the hills. However, I think we can all agree that no matter what has been thrown at us…we are all still standing. Some of us are more worn down than others but we are still standing.
I can try to tell myself not to make any plans because they will just fall through…and that is possible…but even in a year where we didn’t have a pandemic…nothing was ever guaranteed.
I can still make plans for trips…and events…and when they don’t get to happen…I can try and see it from a different perspective, and when they do get to happen…I can enjoy that moment even more than I would have before.
Covid has changed us for good and bad….so many bad things…but without it we would have never realized how much we need personal touch. Just when I thought I was a loner who needed no one…it took the world shutting down to realize…yep…we need the people who drive us crazy.
Just when we thought we could buy everything our heart needed online….we realized what life would be like without TJ Maxx…come on….you wanted to break in to just walk the aisles and sit in the pillows like me…I get it.
Just when we thought we could do our hair and nails at home and save money…we realized why we paid them the amount of money we do.
My dog was able to get a haircut but not me…what in the world was that all about? Wiping off our groceries and mail…and wiping down my car and handles…I don’t think my car has been that clean since….
Now, it seems we are starting all over again…and I like you, am over all of it. Some days I don’t care and I want to hug all my friends and I just don’t care. Other days I’m sanitizing everything and masking up to drive in my car alone…with me there is no in between.
All I can do is continue to look forward. Look ahead to the good stuff. Look ahead to what the future holds…my son graduates in May from Mizzou. My stepdaughter gets her PhD from Penn. We hope to take an amazing trip this year…we have trips with friends planned…and our youngest will be 15….
So much good….can be hidden behind such dread and fear and uncertainty….but I just stand fast in the belief that we haven’t all made it this far for nothing. I have to believe that we will overcome this…and that someday we can have things that aren’t cancelled and the little things in life will be enjoyed once again….like laughter and smiling. Like clowns…and balloons.
The Reluctant Red Nose 