I think the Pandemic did me in….I thought I made it through untouched but no..:
Like many of you, I looked at two weeks of being off from work as a time to get a million things done…and I did get a lot done…but then reality hit…and I realized that we had to reinvent ourselves and our store…so there was no relaxing or sleeping in…it was just mere survival. We figured it out and we made it through.
We all struggled…we learned to keep our mouths shut…learned that some could not…and learned that others really had some strange ideas. We all realized we are in no way prepared for an actual tragedy…and given the fact that we barely could go a day without visiting a grocery store…I doubt we as Americans k ow anything about true “survival”. Here’s me with my hand raised…just not sure how to make it without finding a brownie mix and eggs…but anyway…I digress.
We all learned how much we missed each other…and those people we didn’t. We learned how lonely life can be without each other. How much we missed the sounds of laughter and children…and a crowd singing…it truly was remarkable how much I missed it.
As we have all struggled back…some of us with great loss…others of us with great lessons …I admit…I’m still struggling.
I think somehow I got off the road and I’m struggling to get back….I seem to be close but not there. I can hear you all talking…but I can’t see you clearly.
I’m tired….I’m tired of trying to make people laugh….I’m tired of explaining why….I feel used up and stale. I need new tricks but no time to learn them…I need to embrace my Ukelele and be able to do all these new things…but I’m constantly lost…I’m constantly running out of time…I’m given another task…and then another…and this love of mine called clowning gets pushed back further and further. I thought I could keep up…but now requests come faster and faster and more and more…and I’m tired…and I don’t know how to keep up…so I don’t…
I’ve had to say no to some events and others I’m trying to say yes…my husband reminded me that nothing good ever comes easy. I wish he was wrong…but as usual…he’s right.
Sometimes what worked before no longer works..sometimes…all that’s needed is a refresh. Refresh at home….refresh your “clown”.
Sadly, movies have changed my beloved characters…some kiddos still like my big characters but sadly…many don’t…so for the sake of laughter…we update…we change…we reinvent.
If we learned anything from 2020…and even in 2021….is that certain things that worked before…do not any longer. Change doesn’t always seem to be what we want…but sometimes it is what we need…
So, Miss Dot continues to be reinvented….and someday….that will be enough for me.
The Reluctant Red Nose 