Loyalty

Today, I came home from work and my Charlie greeted me at the door. I knew it would be the last time he would ever greet me…

We had just returned from a vacation the week previous…we had made the hard decision to wait until our return to say goodbye.

Charlie was diagnosed with kidney failure at the end of May….the vet said two weeks….Charlie lasted two more months…and would have probably kept going…he was tough.

We knew the way his body was wasting away…how he could not go up the , trouble breathing…not eating much …barely drinking. Not able to have normal bodily functions. He was wasting away…didn’t even look like himself anymore. He was shedding horribly and he had never shed before.

Charlie was just the greatest dog. Everyone who met him loved him. We would take walks people would yell from their cars how much they loved our dog….everyone loved him.

He greeted everyone…he loved everyone…and absolutely no one disliked him. We took him to our store…he even would help out with closing sales…he was really that remarkable.

He was faithful…he was true…he was loyal.

When I was sick he lay beside me…when my Ellie was sick he would lay beside her…he greeted me always with a happy jump…

When you felt you had failed at life…Charlie was there to tell you that you were worth it. That you were worth fighting for. That dog has heard my biggest fears, listened to my cries and heard my biggest secrets….and he’s kept every single one.

I wish I was as good of a person as Charlie was a dog.

As I stood beside him bawling as the vet came in…knowing that he was just going to go to sleep…I wanted to yell no for all the selfish reasons. My dog was tired….he had fulfilled his duty well. He has taken care of our family through many hard times…and many illnesses. I knew it was my time to be brave for him. I needed to let him know we would be ok…that he has done his job of loyal and faithful dog…and we would be ok.

The vet said the final words “he is at peace.” And I felt that that had to be enough….

Someday, when it is my time…I hope that I will have run the race as faithfully as Charlie. I hope that I will have made people smile like my Charlie…

For now…we cry…we miss him. We know that the last four months he wasn’t really himself…

We know that he is in no more pain…and if he was here he would be laying beside us trying to make us feel better because that’s just the kind of dog he was….

We didn’t deserve him….we will miss him forever.