Ring the Bell

Thursday, the 9th of May I rang the bell….and I can’t tell you of anything that has felt better.

This closed the chapter of being told I had cancer….having a biopsy and then surgery….all the procedures before it. A lumpectomy and the healing after it. Being told no radiation….then being told 20 rounds of radiation. The vertigo, that lasted three weeks…the lymphedema that made my arm just ache and now has a compression sleeve. The weight gain….the exhaustion….that bell was rung for all of that. After the ringing of the bell and the hugging of the nurses….I did a bit of a self examination. …

I want to run and go work out and get my arms and my legs back to where they were in the beginning….I want to finish my projects…but fatigue is real….and I am learning to pace myself.

I think that is my hardest lesson…this is slow…and if there is any speed I hate….it is slow.

I do not make decisions slow…I don’t do chores slow..I don’t clean slow…I don’t decorate slow../I do nothing slow….and let me tell you…this has thrown me.

My body tells me that it has pain where it never has….it says stop when it never has before…and I’ve never wanted so many naps before.

For my celebration. I had this cake made….by a local bakery called Love and Frosting….

My family got to see the radiation machine I had to be with daily….

So now we go forward….we find a new normal….we talk about other things….we laugh again….we put a creative spin on compression sleeves…we re-discover ourselves. We learn patience….we give ourselves grace. We take naps when needed….without guilt.