Achy

Today I feel like that person everyone avoids. The one who can’t say anything nice about anything. You can say the sun is so beautiful today and they would spout off how hot it is.

I woke up and took a shower and felt fine….drank my awesome coffee..then right when I was getting finished making my bed the worst achy and painful feeling came over my entire body. It literally feels like my insides are aching. I actually feel like a ran a 5K for the very first time in my life.

My OT worked on me for awhile told me my back and my hips and my spine were causing the disruption in my lymphatic system…and let me tell you my arm is feeling it.

I decided to listen to the ladies who also take this medicine and push through and then rest….I’ve been working on homemade bread today, made a chicken soup for the crockpot…and cleaned bathrooms. I then have decided to take a break by working on a transcript for end of year for my daughter that we homeschool and get all of that finished up so that in September we are ready to start her Junior year.

Setbacks are bound to come and I do know that….but I was feeling pretty good and hopeful that this medicine I have to be on for five years that we would get along….but now….I just do not know.

I feel bad for those who have had to listen to me whine today….

I know I put out to many negative statements into the world today….

I want to go make people smile and laugh….I do not want people to see me coming and run away because they are afraid of the complaining that will come from me….

And I think that’s why she’s my favorite character to do. I want to do all these things….I hate cancer so much…I am grateful that I no longer have cancer but all the treatments to keep it from coming back or that occurred during the course of treatment are making things hard.

I am trying to find things to focus on….

I will try to quit complaining….I need to find an outlet to yell into….

Today didn’t go my way….we will try again tomorrow!