Alley Springs

This past week, we went with a group of friends to Echo Bluff State Park. About a 20 minute drive from there is a little tiny town called Emminence. A little five mile jog is a campground called Alley Springs.

I had not laid eyes on it since I was around seven…and beside the big wheel being gone it was exactly as I had remembered….

We passed over the bridge where I could see the campground we stayed in as a little kid…and the river we swam in for hours….

I have nothing but fond memories of this place.

I swam and swam…my love of water began very early in life. I remember my Dad cleaning fish…I liked how the scales would hit the sunlight and I always saw a rainbow on the fish. I remember canoe trips…I never worried we would tip…Dad always knew what to do.

I remember being in the back of his motorcycle and riding around the campground…I always had to wear a helmet and hold on tight, I burned my foot once on the motorcycle….my Dad was very upset I was hurt.

I remember eating fish and my Dad always telling me how to eat my fish and be careful with bones. I remember my Mother making hush puppies…I remember s’mores …. I remember contentment.

As I walked across the bridge and saw the mill…I took a quick breath…it looked exactly the same. I wanted to cry…but no tears would come.

This trip came on the heels of a visit with my Dad two weeks ago that ended badly. He didn’t know who I was. He saw people who were not there. He asked bizarre questions….and I felt like I had lost him already.

Dementia isn’t kind….it doesn’t care about hurting you.

My Dad was kind and funny and he had the strongest hands and biggest hands. My hands would get lost in his. As a little girl I felt nothing could ever hurt me. My Dad could fix anything…he sang the silliest songs….he had the best laugh…and I miss him.

My Dad will soon be in a nursing home. We all agree that this is the absolute best thing for my Dad. He has been found wandering on the road…neighbors have had to bring him home…it is not safe for him to live with my Mother anymore….

So, when I visit places of my childhood….and the memories flood back of my Dad….I am reminded of what I’ve lost…

We are not promised an easy life….but I know that my sisters and I had the best Dad…and we have to hold onto those memories. We have to walk him through this terrible journey. None of us want to…none of us know how to do it..but we just have to.

So today, listen to the roar of the river….and be grateful for the memories this lovely piece of the world has given to many families…..

Life goes so quickly….and I am grateful for the amazing Dad I had the privilege of having.