The Long Journey

I wish I could write a fabulous blog post with sunny days and pumpkin pleasure….for now….I write what is my life.

Life was never promised, life was never supposed to be easy…life is a gift and there are years that are easy…and I wish I would have taken the time to really cherish those days. Instead I felt those days were owed to me….and never took the time to truly embrace them.

This week I have worked a lot with one more day to do so….I have been to the cancer center for appointments three separate times…I have driven to a town far away to see my Dad who doesn’t know me right now….

However, this week this is what I will concentrate on. I am grateful to have had a Dad who I loved with all my heart and was always goodness and kindness to me and took care of me always. I will never forget how much I loved my Dad.

I am grateful for loving nurses and an amazing staff at the Cancer Center who treat me with love and respect every time I enter their doors and always remember my name.

I am grateful for medicine that gives me life….allows me to clown at school carnivals in the fall….and walk with friends. I am grateful to be able to go to weddings and the lake with friends.

I am grateful for fall days and pumpkins and perfect weather and the perfect shade of mustard for my front door.

I absolutely thought that once radiation was over I would recover and leave this cancer stuff behind….I had no idea I would have to see my doctors as often as I have….none.

How do you make this normal? I guess it’s like everything….you adapt….you regroup…you press on.

There are days I pout….today I seriously considered something radical so I didn’t have to take this medicine….but in the end I regained my senses. .

Count the gifts….do it on the days you don’t feel like it ….when you drive home from the Rest Home to see your Dad who didn’t know you….the days your arm hurts, your body aches and you are so tired you want to sleep forever.

Life is an amazing gift either way amazing experiences….there is more for me to do. Press on!