Every year I go through a small little funk….its usually after Christmas and I am mentally and physically exhausted. I find that what normally brings me out of it is clowning….but so far this year I have absolutely no desire to don the red nose…none….and this is brand new for me and a little bit scary if I am being honest.
I am not sad….I am currently spending this year on things that just benefit me.
For the past several years I have poured my talents into my community and church…so this feels weird. To do projects for myself and home…to be pouring myself in my family….i find myself wondering if this is normal.
From the time I was a teen we were taught to always serve your fellow man. To reach out to the hurting, the hungry and the neglected. However, I think we never really hear much about the year of restoration.
I have been through a bloody battle….I am physically worn out and mentally worn down. It takes a lot to admit that….but that’s where I am.
I’ve gotten used to the scars….the constant tests and procedures. The medicine that saves me but also causes me exhaustion and pain, irritability and all out just achy all over. I needed to focus on other things. I needed to change my diet…exercise and what I take in mentally. I was never overweight…..but I was comfortable in my “comfort food.”
I have given up Facebook….which has allowed me to now be on book 8 for the year. I have also started embroidery….I am now on my second project.
I have invested in a kindle….
I think big books seemed overwhelming to me….and now I am all good!
I’m back into plants and gardening….
My 50 tulips I planted last fall are starting to come up….
I’m getting projects done in my house….
We are back to camping and fishing and bike riding plans this year…..
And I have to tell you….it all feels really good….quiet….hands in the dirt…less screen time…less noise….I am here for it….
And I know….my red nose will always be waiting.
The Reluctant Red Nose 