Today we laid our Dad to rest. Probably one of the hardest days of my life. I gave the Tribute and I faltered in the beginning, but was able to carry on without too many tears. Not sure if you’ve ever given a Tribute when your entire family is crying….but it encouraged me in a strange way….because I knew they felt the pain that I did.
Tribute:
I have written this tribute over three times. I gave it the simple title…
Dad
How do you write all the things from your childhood and adulthood you want to say in just a few minutes?
How do you say your dad was the best dad and showed up always. When life had broken me, he showed up to fix my broken wings and help me fly again. He would always rescue all of us.
I can still smell his gray metal lunchbox when you opened it. I loved how when he told me to open it, it usually meant a surprise like a chocolate bar or a balloon shaped like an apple.
He can make a song out of anything and he always had a new joke to tell.
In his last days, I came home from the hospital and my Ellie was having a hard time with him leaving us.
So I will tell all of you what I told her.
We were blessed to have a dad/grandpa, who loved us as much as he did
He loved to have water fights, but he never played fair as he would grab the hose and sprayed us with it until we surrendered.
He loved nicknames. Ronda and Trey were called partner. Ashley was famous in our family for Ashley did it. We don’t know what she did, but this was her official greeting even in adulthood.
We were blessed with a dad who loved Jesus and his Bible is worn where he opened it to read it.
Dad could fix anything, he could build anything. He made countless baby doll cribs, wagons, tables, microwave carts, planters, key holders, and even houses.
Dad made me feel like a track star almost every Wednesday night after Mom‘s choir practice and we would race to the car, and I actually believed I had beat him. He was so good at making it look like he had lost. He would even sulk a little so I really believed it And now those are just memories etched into my brain forever shared between just the two of us.
Today our hearts ache, we hurt and we grieve because we were given the greatest gift. We all knew what it was like to be loved by Dad. He wasn’t perfect, but he was perfect for us.
Even when I was married, my dad expected me to call him when I would get home, he couldn’t sleep until he knew I was safe.
I will never forget how much we would love for Dad to get into the pool with us and how he would throw us in the air, but I was never scared. I knew he would always catch me. I was never scared to be in the canoe with him, I knew he would never dump us. I was never scared to ride on the motorcycle because I knew he would do everything he could to keep me safe as long as I held on. I was never scared when our truck was sliding on a snowy road because Dad just told me to hold on and he kept me safe.
But now I’m asked along with all of you to go on without him and I’m not sure how to do that.
How do we say goodbye to someone who has been there for all the highs and lows of our entire lives.
Silly things like lemon meringue pie and donuts now bring tears to my eyes.
I know heaven is home and his mind and body are now healed.
I know he is looking down at us and he is happy to see all of us together.
I know he now knows who I am. He now knows I am his daughter instead of just that girl who has a name he likes. His mind is restored once again, dementia no longer has a hold on him
In the rest home facility, dad would say the following I had five girls… Long pause
And we would always sit there and smile because we never knew what he would say. And he would finish the statement by saying and that’s OK. I loved all my girls and we would smile and laugh.
Even when Dad was not his Best, we all knew that we were loved
Walking him home has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I wanted more time, but I know that’s selfish. I know heaven is his home. I know I will see him again. I’m sure he will be standing by the gates, asking us all what took us so long.
For now, I will smile when I see Chevy trucks. I will always root for the Kansas City Royals and the Chiefs and fishing and camping will always remind me of him. I will always cry when I see Folgers cans and I can still hear him saying why would you drive a Ford?
But I am so grateful for a Dad, who loved me unconditionally, and I knew that I could come home when my world fell apart, and he would let me lick my wounds, help me to be strong again… And then send me back out.
So today, we get to cry, we get to mourn…..But we rejoice because we know where he is. Today, is not the end.
Someday, there will be no more death.
We must look forward, we must hold the memories close.
We must remain grateful for without the gift of love. We would never feel the pain we feel now.
We are lucky that we have a dad/grandfather, who loved us so big and so loudly with much humor… Lots of laughter and wonderful memories. As you go forward, live your life with no regrets.
As I write this, I’m sitting by his bedside… I can hear his breath, and even now I’m comforted by it, because I know he’s still here… And I don’t want that to end… But I know it must, and even though I know it’s coming, I’m still in some sort of denial, that it isn’t real, but I know it is. And I am thankful for God‘s promises… That He always make a way.
So today and every day, I challenge all of you to hold on… Much like I did on the back of my dad‘s motorcycle because our heavenly father will also take care of us… We have no need to fear.
I leave you with this verse:
John 16: 22
So with you, now is your time of grief, but I will see you again, and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
The Reluctant Red Nose 