What Brings You Joy?

So Tuesday, I spent over an hour going through my Christmas Decor….and this is what I donated to a very worthy place where these decorations will be used in a way that brings me great joy.

As I went through all the things I was a little brutal with myself and kept asking myself if this brought me joy…..and the truth is…it didn’t anymore.

These things represented a standard that I held myself to…no one else….just me.

The joy of decorating for Christmas to such an extent had left me stressed and overwhelmed. I had no energy for baking, going and seeing Christmas lights….nothing except work.

I would look around at all the decor and dread taking it all down….

Keep in mind I own a retail store that I decorate, we have promos, we have a Christmas party at my house where I put a lot of energy into….and I was beginning to hate Christmas.

Since I was 30 I have entertained my husbands family and my own for each and every holiday….and when I worked from home that was attainable….when I homeschooled two children that was something that I could do….still a lot….but absolutely a possibility.

As I approach my early 50s I had a talk with my daughter. She has always loved how I decorate….but Christmas wears her….she wants a real tree….she wants paper stars….she wants homemade caramel and Christmas colored lights outside…..

This is her last Christmas before she goes away….and the sorrow that fills my heart that I’ve been consumed with how my home looks rather than asking her how she feels about it….brings me great sadness.

My children hated carrying up the 30 plus containers of decor….and I always thought the magic I created made it worth it….and while others enjoyed it….my children did not. The “magic” that I created just represented to them a lot of work….and a stressed out Mom who wanted nothing but perfection.

So this Christmas I listened…..

And I donated this…..

And when I decorate….I will probably go through even more…..

I donated over half…..

I am starting to learn to turn off the noise of constant things we must have to be good mothers….to be fashionable and to be “current trends.”

I have unplugged some social media, turned to thrifting and reading and gardening and embroidery….and audible in the car.

The stress is leaving…..quiet content is following me…

My dahlias are thriving

My creative juices are flowing once again….

Projects around the house are being completed….clutter is leaving….

I find amazing things at the thrift store that absolutely no one else has….

I wish I would have learned how to do this better in my 30s…..I wish I would not have cared about what others felt or said to me

Why did I feel that I needed so much praise and needed everyone to be in awe when they walked through my door?

Now….they feel “cozy” when they walk in….they are comfortable…..they even say it….they love how my home makes them feel….

I have made constant changes to make my home be comfortable for guests…..because isn’t that what it is all about?

Giving the best to those who enter your home….not those who just watch your life through a small screen.