A New Journey

I have been married for around 24 years. We both came with our scars and our regrets. Blending families is excruciatingly hard. It is hard because you are putting broken lives that are in pieces back together with other broken lives and pieces. All of us broken and scarred because of the decisions of others. Our lives affected because of their selfishness.

I came with a broken heart and a sweet two year old boy…he came with a broken heart and two wounded little girls….and immaturity on my part as a young 29 year old still trying to maneuver through grief and the mistakes I made are many….and my husband would say the same…..

Somehow….you have the after story….by God’s amazing grace….we stand. We have scars….we have hurt….but we stand…and we made it.

Five years after we were married, I gave up hope I would ever have another child….then came…my bouncing baby girl!

She is leaving the nest….college has been chosen…cap and gown ordered….and my homeschooling journey of over 15 years is coming to an end. For the first time in our entire marriage, we will be without children.

I cry when I think about her being out in the world. The world is ugly and I worry for her heart. It is kind and tender and there will be many hard lessons that we have tried to prepare her for…but they must be learned….and they are difficult to do.

I’m not one of those moms who lived through their children’s sports and dreams. I’m a GenXer through and through. I did not go to every game and every rehearsal and every single thing on the planet. My children didn’t play every sport known to man and I hold absolutely no stock in any sport whatsoever. I believe sports serve a purpose but personally I don’t understand the absolute devotion to families who never see each other during the week…don’t eat at the table together….and their kids haven’t read a book except that which is required for literature. I am completely alone in this theory…and having two homeschooled kids who were both accepted into very good schools and one college graduate doing pretty well for himself…I think I know from which I speak.

I have always found my own hobbies and interests…and my kids know this.

It’s just…no more curriculum to pick out…no more homeschool groups…no more grading and keeping track of hours….and no more transcripts to fill out….and that makes me sad.

When I was able to stay home full time and homeschool and read books that went along with our curriculum and all the fun we had I’m so glad I got to do it. I have no regrets except I wish I would have been able to not have to work as much…I wish we would have had more time.

As we start on a new journey….I of course have my hobbies and my dogs and our business to invest in…but what I am most proud about is the two humans that I raised.

I hope that they feel the same….I hope they felt loved and I hope they always know they can come home ♥️ but not for too long 🥴.