Author: jme71te

I’m pretty sure we are all OVER this year, this virus…and we just want to get on with life. Anyone else look through their pictures of last year and say that they will never take for granted….sooo many things!!

I have learned a lot about people. Most of it not very surprising…and a lot of it very sad. I’ve seen some wonderful humans…and the worst of the worst.

If truth be told…I miss human contact with those who didn’t get very much of it in the first place. I miss retirement homes like I never thought I would…when I’m finally able to go back…I’m going every month…I’m not gonna be too busy.

I miss smiles, reading people’s lips…and just being able to hug someone…yes, I’m not a hugger and I said it.

I miss getting a headache and not instantly taking my temperature because I think I have the “rona”.

I miss planning….I love a nice plan…my calendars are full of crossed out events…more memories that won’t be made…this summer is actually reminding me of my childhood…the summer of 1982…second grade here I come.

I remember glass bottles and my dad always had a cold RC…and how on a special occasion I was allowed to drink some of it…I always got my tongue stuck🤦🏼‍♀️.

We would go camping for two weeks every summer.. fish frys and hush puppies and good ol s’mores.

I remember watching dad clean the fish…the scales would always create rainbows in the water spray…I always felt bad for the fish…asked my dad if the hooks hurt them. I was always sunburned…always bug bitten…always trying to take off my shirt much to the embarrassment of my older sister.

We rode on the back of dads motorcycle with helmets that were too big…and went canoing with life jackets that caused me to have vision problems due to them being soo big.

We drank out of hoses…learned real quick to let the hose water run a little to cool off but not too much so you didn’t get yelled at for “wasting water”

Going out to eat was rare and when we did a big deal..we never really chose what we ate it was chosen for us…but we were just happy to be there. If we were at Pizza Hut we were getting Preazzio. If you don’t know what that is…look it up…it was amazing…and for the love…bring it back!

Road trips were fun…no electronics…no play lists…but we created amazing songs…our favorites were:

“You are the Booger up my nose, that’s why I always pick on you!” Brilliant I tell ya…and we had more…lots more.

Sunday and Wednesday were church…and that’s pretty much the only time we saw other people. Grocery run and Walmart runs were on Friday…and they took all day….I was in charge of “empties” a thankless, sticky…and under appreciated job.

Popcorn and fuzzy reception TVs with antennas were part of Friday and Saturday night adventures..more tin foil helped 😬😬🤦🏼‍♀️ we think.

We spent our days in our pool…and did amazing water ballet choreography. It was Olympic like I promise. We dodged horse flies and bumble bees…and ate sour cream and onion chips….and frozen yogurt. I learned to ride a bike on a gravel road and didn’t enjoy wearing shoes…

We read library books galore…and we would record radio shows we made up….blank tapes were the best thing you could ever have…and we made show after show. I wish I could find some of those!

Right now….I feel like that is the laid back summer that I’m living…no worries…I no longer try to take off my shirt.

That is the only way I can survive right now….is trying to just look at this as a time for quiet and slow down…to work out kinks in home and business…and to focus on quieter days…and Rest in quiet anticipation for when life returns with its neck breaking speed.

How much we will change…how many things will we count as unnecessary? We will wait and see!

The other day I turned off my news alerts. I couldn’t take the covid updates ONE more day. I unfollowed mass amounts of people who had strict opinions about wearing masks and NOT wearing masks…and frankly…I don’t want to hear about any more of it anymore.

I think it’s scary how quickly we have turned on one another…how much hatred we have for one another. If you don’t wear a mask your officially a “hater of mankind” and if you do wear one “your an overzealous moron”. Can we all just let each other do what makes them comfortable? But the answer is no…we can’t.

Today after returning some items to three stores I got in my car and almost cried. Had I not been in a parking lot, I surely would have . Can we all just talk about how much right now hurts. When I walk by you and you cringe and step away…it truly hurts. When I see people I haven’t seen in months and just have to wave… it hurts. I don’t think I will ever take a hug for granted again. I don’t think I will ever take someone putting their hand on my shoulder again…

I can’t clown at retirement homes…probably not for a year…maybe longer if a vaccine isn’t found. They was my outlet…my happy place…where I could get creative and make people smile…and now smiles are hid behind masks.

4th of July…my favorite summer holiday…no firework shows….small gatherings…and people terrified of others.

I keep turning off more and more noise…because today…I spent in and out of tears. Sad for my daughter who can’t be with friends very much…activities canceled and sports canceled. Even homeschooling activities for fall are uncertain…and so many questions.

Today, this feels like it will not end…that life is unbearable…that things won’t change…and I normally can snap out of it….

So, I got on my social media….I have unfollowed pages and pages of news…and things and people that are giving me anxiety. I have to keep believing that things will get better…that this will pass and we will all be better for it. I have to believe that God is on the throne…and He is aware of our plight.

I keep thinking of all the things that have been lost and missed out on this year…and wondering how long can this possibly go on. I fear for my children, my business my country…my fellow man…

Part of me wishes we could all just take the biggest nap ever and wake up and this is gone… but I know that that’s not how it works.

So, for today…I cut up soap made with my own two hands…

I enjoy the silly frog that visits us each summer and hangs out on our patio glass door.

I will be grateful for our customers and sales today…and my employees.

I will be grateful for my car that’s freshly cleaned and looking awesome 😬😬😎

I will be happy with fun face masks….in hopes that it makes someone smile.

But most of all…I hope this will teach me…(a otherwise introvert) that not having physical touch or contact…or connection with our fellow man is what has made this whole ordeal so difficult. I understand it…and I’m not questioning it…but I hope that I never take for granted things that just five months ago…I thought nothing of.

Even though we can’t hug or see a lot of our friends…may I encourage everyone to be texting and calling…sending pics and perhaps even old fashioned letters…let language be what helps us through this…may we be able to connect with one another that way…while we wait to be able to embrace one another.

Three weeks ago a new lady I was meeting shook my hand…and I about cried…she forgot and apologized…but it was the happiest handshake I’ve had in nearly three months.

We need one another….perhaps this 4th of July you will be able to see some close friends or family…and you can sneak in some quick hugs followed by massive hand washing😬😬😬

We have just returned from a vacation of sorts. These days, vacation looks much different than it even did six months ago. It is a little scary how quickly life can change.

Two weeks ago I called and asked about what would be permissible in the state we were visiting and everything was opening up…when we got there….everything was closing up…so..vacation looked a little different. We still got to enjoy being away…and it helped me a lot.

You see, if we watch the news…we are all divided. If we watch the news, we all hate each other. If we watch the news…all we see is negative.

I needed a vacation…because I needed to see smiles of strangers…even at a social distance it was appreciated. I needed to converse with my fellow man…even if it was with masks and plastic gloves. I needed to hear stories of how businesses have adapted and I needed some good food that I didn’t cook.

I needed to see people playing in waterfalls. I needed to be asked to take photos for someone and then use my hand sanitizer…no worries. I needed to hear my daughter laugh and my husband makes jokes. I needed my daughter to hear other people talk to her about her favorite musical…and let her pet their dog.

This world is in trouble…I’m not telling you it isn’t…we have a pandemic that is confusing and frightening and the rules change daily. We have injustice and unfairness…hatred and bitterness that people don’t know what to do with….and if I focus on that everyday it will paralyze me…it will completely overwhelm me.

I can only support, encourage…do my part to make this world a happier place.

Social distance like your supposed to, wash your hands….use your hand sanitizer…and wear your masks when needed….but smile at one another with your eyes….speak to one another….we are not on this planet alone for a reason….we need each other…we really do.

Thank you to those who leave the painted rocks…those make me soo happy.

Thank you to those who make fun masks

Thank you to letting us have open campgrounds again where we found out that owls make the most annoying sounds you have ever heard.

Thank you for having the most fun games to play…

Thank you for snow cones and no waiting at places where no waiting is unheard of…

Thanks for letting us pet your dog when we sure were missing ours….

Thanks for humor during a scary time

Thanks for waterfalls and beautiful sights we can see again…

Thanks for being quirky

Thanks for being breathtaking…but reminding me to be safe…

I muted my news app. I muted people on my social media who were giving me anxiety…and I’m concentrating on the good. There will always be a battle do good verses bad. Make sure your on the side promoting good.

Get back out there…but social distance…wear your masks when instructed…and everyone…just turn off the news…it only brings anxiety and depression.

This blog post is one geared towards women…and in this particular case….”Christ followers” and followed by basically a plea.

This morning I met with an amazing woman to discuss some things for advertising and such. She deals with a lot of things many of us have no desire to even talk about.

I was raised in a legalistic church…by people who felt that they were doing the right thing. I believe that with their whole heart and soul…they believed that they were doing the right thing.

The church, and especially, the women of the church have done much to harm. Instead of accepting, we have judged…I’m not pointing fingers….until about five years ago…I was definitely in this group. We say that we accept you, but we have an amazing look we give to those who aren’t quite as polished as the rest of us. I can turn this post into a long complaint about how we have failed….but I don’t think that’s productive…this is for those women who want change. This is for the woman who reached out to someone to talk to…and you were rejected….time and time again. This is for the woman who never felt good enough. This is for the woman who was told it was your fault…that you should have done more…that he would have stayed if you would have been different. This is for the woman who suffers because her kids are struggling, but she can’t tell you that because she will be judged…when the case simply is…sometimes kids do bad things in spite of what we have taught them!

I believe that women are mighty. Watch a woman give birth….watch a single mom make ends meet…and watch a woman protect her young….we are fierce.

We are also vulnerable , sensitive, and when things get hard sometimes we cry…sometimes we have a “potty mouth”….but most of the time…we keep on going.

In our community alone, we have so many amazing women who are moving mountains. This is who I want to get my hands dirty with.

There is Melissa who works with Pivotal Point. They do amazing things for getting families off the street and teaching them how to get a job, an apartment…and meal plan. They have a thrift store which also benefits the apartments as well where people can shop and it directly benefits the housing of these people.

There is Sheila who works with Food for Kids that has a water day each summer for these kids that have no food. She started feeding these kids who were hungry in our town out of her own pocket….and you haven’t lived until you’ve heard her sing in the middle of 100 kids in the middle of our town “Jesus Loves the Little Children.”

There is Stacy who works with Sisters of Solace who is helping abused women get off the street and have a career and something they can be proud of. She deals with things that most people never even have to ever hear…and she does this every single day.

There is Glynda who works at the UCP and the amazing people that work beside her…and she takes care of the disabled in such an amazing way.

There is Jeannie and so many that work at the Youth Alliance here in our town, making huge differences in our local youth!

All of these women…need help. They need volunteers, they need money…they need all of us.

I don’t have time anymore to argue on mask or no masks wearers. I don’t have time to argue on Facebook with anyone….or Twitter.

Instead. I would very much like to spend my spare time making a difference….getting my hands dirty. Serving in the way that God has uniquely created me.

I want to do this because this is how change takes place in communities. When we quit fighting with one another and instead join hands. When we decide that the greater good is worth more than being right. When we decide that arguing is a waste of time…but making the world a better place is always the best thing to do with our time.

Quit complaining, quit making empty promises where your too busy to talk to anyone for three months…quit holding grudges against people who are too stubborn to change….leave them behind and go forward to what God wants you to do.

The pictures I post are not bragging pictures to show you what a fabulous person I am…because I am not. I just post them so that you can see that whatever gift you have can be used in such an amazing way…bigger than you ever dreamed.

Don’t judge Jesus by those that just say His name. Judge Jesus by those who do His work…and get their hands dirty….by doing the dirty work.

May His name be praised !

At the beginning of the year I was soo dedicated to yoga…eating better. I was going to dig deeper into projects for our homeschooling. I was going to say no more…and really dive into the present. I was gonna say yes to clowning for charities in the summer all the time…but more cautious during the school year. I wanted to devote all my attention to my last child. I wanted to be a better boss, wife, homeschool Mom and clown.

January and February had challenges -‘a few work trips but March was to be the month that changed it all. It was going to be the month of bucket lists finally checked off…and dreams finally coming true.

Instead, March became the month of nightmares and such…and worries about…everything. April became the month of revamping your business, and getting every single home project done you’ve ever wanted to do…and May became the month of anger because we were all “over it”.

Now as we head into June…and life is slowly going back to somewhat normal, I’m looking at so many things left undone.

As a business owner I didn’t have weeks on end of Netflix binging. We had to figure out how to sell our product online. Having a luxury product and selling online is difficult and people are unwilling to do so for large ticket items. I had to keep my readers and customers excited about product and I would sit by my safe at my store pulling out piece after piece trying to get a good overview….it was hard. Then, May 4th came and we were able to open and it has been fabulous. Our community and customers have been fabulous…but I still look around at projects undone…and yoga left by the wayside.

I guess what this has proved to me is that I’m a time waster. I promise, it’s not something I’m happy to admit. I got all the projects done that I wanted to get done….but the kitchen ceiling…still sits with unmatched paint colors. I still have trim that needs to be painted…and weeds that still need to be pulled.

The worst project I have left undone, is now, myself…yoga is done with great irregularity…and getting on the elliptical is like a dream. I wanted to learn juggling but I’m too scared to start. I wanted to learn how to stay in character mode as a clown…but I continue to struggle and didn’t pick up one book or look over my class notes at all. Why is it that we put ourselves on the back burner?!???.

I think we can all agree that 2020 was full of promise….but instead became a gift we opened that we all wish desperately we could return.

We learned creativity. We learned how to cook endlessly, we learned how to navigate unforeseen waters.

Those that owned businesses, learned how to go online and use technology to basically “stay alive.” Those that could work from home did so with creativity as well. We were able to reopen businesses with many of us losing employees and having to implement new challenges that no one had ever experienced.

School for us was the same but without field trips, co-ops, libraries, music lessons in person, and absolutely no friends…so it basically was school with not much fun. Summer in our town consists of no swim team, no art camp, and no museums. We are trying to go camping…and hope to do so soon.

Volunteering was over…no creative outlets for me…and the toll from this has been huge…and I’m still suffering for it and not an end in sight.

What I didn’t understand from this from the beginning, is that I’m an introvert but even though that’s true…I still need to get out. I volunteer off and on at about six places in our community….and I have a huge hole in my heart that I haven’t been able to volunteer at any of these places. I can’t even imagine how difficult this has been for so many of them.

Today we were able to get out and go places we haven’t been for a long time. Eat in a real restaurant…and walk around. It felt amazing…I hope I never take for granted just the ordinary.

I miss an ordinary Saturday where I can see people smile at me…or frown…I think right now I would actually take a frown. I’ve had to learn to read people’s eyes…and that has been a real lesson…but boy…those eyes tell a lot. I wish I could shake my customers hands when they come to me for help…or hug them when they show me something special and they have just lost a loved one.

I’m sad for people that live alone…that haven’t had anyone to talk to…be patient when they see you…listen to their stories…they have a lot to say…and you might be the only one they get to talk to today.

I’m sad for the people I visited in the nursing home….I sure did need their smiles to help me through. I miss the faces at UCP…I miss the kids from Youth Alliance. I miss all the programs that were able to raise funds for those kids in need…all of that has stopped right now.

I miss being able to travel freely across our great land…much less not being able to use my passport. I miss the roar of a crowd during a baseball game and we get a homerun! I miss going to the movies…no one does popcorn like they do.

I’m sorry I didn’t check on my friends enough. Didn’t ask how you were all doing. I was too busy licking my own wounds to think about others. I was overwhelmed with not sure about the certainty of my business, my staff…and overwhelmed with our “new schedule.”

I think that at this point we can only look back on lessons learned and see what things we can try to do for the future. I certainly hope that I have learned to never take anything for granted again. That life can change in an instant.

I hope that I will never grumble at going to work. Going to volunteer. Or taking my child somewhere for a lesson. I hope that I won’t complain about early rising to participate in an event again. I hope I won’t complain about how sore my fingers are from making balloons. Or how I am tired and don’t feel like making people laugh.

It will be awhile before the nursing homes call me back….and that’s just how it is….I think when they call me back…I’m hoping for a big party….that lasts a long time….I’m ready.

I’m ready to smile again….and I can’t wait to see your smile to!

We have had Charlie for about eight years….maybe nine…he’s from the shelter…and he’s been special since day one.

Charlie is not the most intelligent animal. His hunting skills are below average…and he has a severe fear of sewer drains(we have no idea why). He barks at my UPS and FedEx delivery drivers and any new postal worker…he finally loves the one we have had for years and doesn’t bark at her.

Charlie has a cool vibe…we have always Said that he has more friends than any of us…the vet loves him, the groomer…anyone that visits our house loves Charlie. We took a walk just last night, and a car full of young men waved at us and told us they loved our dog…Charlie kept walking like…I hear ya…I know it.

Charlie woke me up last week when the tornado sirens were going off…I never heard them. Charlie knew when Ellie was about to have one of the worst asthmatic events in her life and laid by her bed and came and got me.

Charlie loves car rides…hates being clean…and hates being alone. When I leave on a trip he knocks my kids down to get to me first so that he can bark at me and jump on me…and all the things. When I come home he’s the one that greets me and literally makes a groaning noise until I give him sufficient kisses and hugs. He waits by the door when he hears my husband come home….he greets absolutely every single person that comes to my home like that. My parents who don’t even like dogs will take care of Charlie when we are out of town.

Charlie likes to chase deer and squirrels. He enjoys treats as long as they are corn feee and he loves his big bed.

He is loyal, kind, and loves with all his little heart. He just doesn’t see the bad in anyone….unless you drive a big brown truck that says UPS…he just can’t help himself…he’s gonna bark at you all day long.

Oh to be like Charlie…he unites everyone together…and he just loves you with all his heart and soul as long as you pet him.🧡😘

Be cool like Charlie 😘

I in the beginning of quarantine, was writing and blogging and doing projects and then I just didn’t have time anymore as I had to kick into survival mode for our business.

Our business is doing quite well despite being closed for five weeks. We are overwhelmed with gratitude at how wonderful our customers have been in supporting us.

We like you, are tired…we want to do fun things. I long to shake hands with our customers and be able to read my employees lips when they are talking to me…I long to see teeth…and smiles…and all the things…and I think we are close.

Since it’s been a month since I have written here are some things I’ve been up to:

And my Ellie girl has been hard at work at painting:

I was able to spruce up our garage with magnets:

My new plants came that were gifts for my birthday.

We found a new snow cone place/

We got new awesome masks:

Had a bonfire and our first s’mores of the season!

We enjoyed puppies:

And

I’m enjoying a new staff….

I like you, long to go to the movies. Eat out wherever we want. I would like to spend a day without worrying about wearing my mask…or get a headache from wearing the mask all day. I would like to travel…..even to a different state here in the US would be great. I miss going to TJ Maxx at my leisure…instead now you have to go and wait to be let in…

I just feel like 2020 is a great big kidney stone and we all just can’t wait for this painful thing to pass….

Keep on truckin my fellow peeps….the end is in sight!

I will say that the last two months have been the same for everyone…frustrating, depressing, disappointing, and scary.

We have learned how to do things we have never thought we would have to ever do …and we’ve had to be creative about it.

Had some employees give me their notice of departure literally hours and one of them, just days before opening our store…put a little bit more stress than I already had…but we are getting there….and we just might make it.

Our state lifted the stay at home order and our mayor allowed small businesses to re-open…and I am completely grateful. Things look very different now…but I’m thankful to be open.

My daughter turned 13 on Friday….she misses her friends terribly…she misses everything terribly. No summer camp, no art camp, and probably no summer swim team…and the disappointments just keep coming…but Friday…her friends came through and we were able to celebrate at a distance…with a promise of a big party soon to follow.

The theme this year was obvious…

And masks were not always required….

Birthday cake was as requested….ice cream cake…where I had to order from my car and do pickup. The ice cream store spelled her name perfectly and they were awesome.

Turning 13 means you get your first piece of real jewelry and she is taking very good care of it.

Pandemic birthdays call for caravans of well wishers…

And distant waves from friends…no hugs but the promise of seeing each other again soon!!!

Mother’s Day found me cranky…and like many of you…my list was long on things that I was cranky about…because…just like you…and everyone else in the world…I’m ready to be done with this.

I’ve gotten off social media…only to be dragged back on when innocently checking my business pages…..started fights, shared things I should not..and was frankly…just a tad sour.

Sour actually, if the perfect word. If you wonder what powerful impact the written word is…check how you feel lately after reading the latest news article…I found that for me…it was just raising my anxiety level…and my level of despair was growing.

Today, someone wrote that there will be a new “normal” and my rebellious spirit was upset by that…then they referred to flying after 9/11 and how everything changed…and in the beginning we all complained about taking our shoes off, going through security, water bottles, only small bottles of hand sanitizer or any liquid…and we all now do it like pros.

What does our world look like after all this has settled? I have no idea. Some say we will have masks for all outings…others that we will have to have our temps taken…and all I can say is…ok…let’s do it.

I miss hearing sports on tv….I miss going to a restaurant where people brought food to me…filled my glass….and took my dirty dishes. I’m miss flying on a plane…I don’t think I will ever say I hate flying ever again….because even though it makes me sooo nervous…I love all the amazing places and I have lots of places I want to go to soon. I won’t complain about getting my nails done and how long that takes, or my hair. I won’t complain about all the stuff my daughter is involved in and places we need to go. I miss the roar of a crowd…I miss movie theatres…and I miss plays and roller skating rinks, swimming pools and hotels, the inside of TJ Maxx…and camping. I miss all sorts of things that I thought I never would.

I miss clowns that were allowed at nursing homes…and clowns that were able to teach clown classes. I miss clown school, and clowning for schools as well…

I miss smiles…instead of being hidden beneath a mask…I miss breathing fresh air instead of using a mask constantly…

I am grateful to be able to have the Stay at Home order lifted in my city. I’m grateful to have my store open and how busy we have been…I’m grateful for warmer days ahead…

Lessons I have learned. We say mean things from the safety of our computer screens we would never say in person. We say we are in this together, when in fact…we are not…we are usually surviving the best way we know how. We preach to each other to be kind…but shame people for their choices. Wearing masks and gloves, staying home or going out…these are all personal decisions that we are all free to make and should be allowed to make without judgement from others.

I have said from the beginning to turn off the news…to concentrate on what is good…what is positive…what is holy and what is kind.

I believe that we will look back on this like we did on any other tragedy that has come down on us. We will be amazed at those who overcame…and saddened by the ugliness of others. We will shake our head at the bad choices that others made and the selfishness of so many more.

I am grateful for the quality time I’ve had with my family. Grateful for being able to get some projects done that in never had time to do…but so glad that we are starting to slowly get back to normal.

Social media for me looks a lot different right now. I’ve been much quieter…just business pages and a few small groups…and my anxiety and sour attitude is getting better.

Righty now 2020 feels like the movie “Groundhog day” and we seem to be stuck in February forever and sticking our foot in an icy wet hole everyday…but I keep thinking each day…soon…we are going to finally all move forward…and I keep looking forward to that day.

Just keep on trucking….we are almost done with Groundhog Day I’m sure!