I admit, the older that I have become….the more that I dread this holiday. I feel that I miss so much. I have yet to really enjoy the holiday because of all the busy. It starts in October…as I finalize prep work for my store for our biggest event of the night….Ladies Night, which we have once a year. After that event, I decorate the store….then…I am constantly on our social media, advertising events for the store, even making freshly baked cookies for the store. I have a Christmas Party for our employees…and constant buying of wrapping paper, snacks for my employees to keep them fueled…and I find myself by January…wrapped in a blanket…not wanting to speak to anyone.
My daughter has begged to listen to Christmas music at home while we bake, or do school…or clean….or whatever…but I find myself wanting….silence. Even in my car, where I once would belt music and we would sing with pretend microphones….I just want silence. My beloved Target….I order my stuff online….only going into the actual store for quick things that the store needs. I buy my groceries online…and opt for the pickup option (which is free I might add). I pull into a designated place at my grocery store, call the number, and some nice hard working employee brings my groceries to the car, loads them for me….and off I go. I go to the library and drop off my books in the parking lot. I am an Amazon Prime shopper, Target shopper and that’s all I need in life.
Every Thursday I work at the store until we come to the crazy part of December, which requires my presence daily….and then Thursday night is date night….and we just want to go to a restaurant with no children, and people bring me my food and drink….and that is all.
I live in a small town, and errands can be endless….because we know everyone….and the day you want to see no one…you see everyone. In all fairness….we all feel the same about this. The ONE day you look cute and put together, you see NO ONE…the one day you opt to wear these adorable Christmas leggings that should not be worn outside the house (but you do because…hey….tis the season)…and you opt for dry shampoo because ten more minutes of sleep to you….meant more than a shower….and THAT is the day that you see every single…person….you know. It’s also the day that you decide to let your 10 year old express herself with that ridiculous glitter shirt and rainbow pants…thinking you will see again…NO ONE 😦
I have become brave on Instagram….showing videos somedays….of how I really feel (which honestly, should be just kept to myself). Somehow, I need an outlet with all the shopping online now…and I guess Instagram is now how I build relationships.
We have all become so insane with schedules…even me…who I didn’t think we were that involved has a weekend that looks insane….put homeschooling, owning a retail store at Christmas, managing schedules for employees and baking homemade cookies every day….managing our social media….and I also have three events that I am ministering at this month)….because lets be honest….that’s really what de stresses me. I am completely undone.
I have three books right now…THREE….on simplifying my life. I have purged our house, but it still seems to be growing with endless amounts of crap. I have decided to have “simple” Christmas decor….but how could there be this many boxes…when I’m keeping everything “simple”. I have more gadgets than my mother ever had, more abilities to get more done than she ever dreamed…and I find myself reaching for almost three cups of coffee on a daily basis…and begging for the song “Santa Baby” to be taken off of the radio forEVER! I also don’t want to hear Randy Travis singing “Rocky Mountain Christmas”…just play silence….or instrumental music with NO WORDS! That would be heaven! I see people doing Elf on the SHELF STILL….and now there is the Christian version???? Really? I don’t understand what was satanic about Elf on the Shelf…I found it irritating and creepy (but if you have more time and patience than me….go for it!) but seriously….a shepherd Elf on the Shelf….is now acceptable? I seriously do not understand.
I look on Instagram and everyone is duplicating everyone else house. I am amazed…its like we all have carbon copies of the same house?? We all have the same bread boxes, candles, pillows…and if you don’t have a flocked tree…you are OUT OF IT!
I do not know what the answer is…I really don’t. I have two adult children….one teen, and one pre teen. They all love Christmas, they all hate the matching pjs that I give them every year (but I don’t care….they will love it someday…after all….I have to do something to make them go to therapy right?) They love my Christmas dinners, and cookies, and they enjoy the way I decorate the house…but I have to say….I secretly look forward to the day…when I get to visit THEIR house….
As we all struggle to get to the finish line of Christmas…know that I’m rooting for ya….and my love goes out to the USPS, Fed Ex and my fav…the UPS….I will have bottles of water and snacks waiting for you all in a basket on my front porch….appreciate my life so much more with you all bringing packages to my door….so that I don’t have to face more cranky people….or make them suffer while looking at my Christmas leggings!
Until January my friends!
The Reluctant Red Nose 