Author: jme71te

I am feeling a little under the weather and that normally seems to happen after Thanksgiving, it is my body’s way of letting me know my engine light is on.

Last Monday my husband had surgery on his leg where melanoma was found and the surgeon wanted to be sure he got it all….it was very painful for my dear husband. we count the gift that it hasn’t spread…doctor got it all.

All our children were home for Thanksgiving and that was such a blessing. We count that as a gift.

I was able to walk the Turkey Trot with my son and we finished at a decent time, I count that as a gift.

Was able to enjoy family for two days of eating and talking and just being together…count the gifts. the smoker decided it was done working so we couldn’t smoke our turkey ourselves …grateful for family that stepped in and smoked it for us!

Took my son to see my Dad and decorate his room for Christmas. Happy to see my Dad and how much he likes his Turkey Shirt.

My son was able to go with us for a college visit to his Alma Mater and it was such a special time for them…

So nice to be together as Trey showed her the place that helped shape him…

I very well might have another Tiger on my hands…we shall see….

This year I approach life differently…aware of how hard it could have been….how different and awful it could have been…and grateful it wasn’t worse than it was.

Glitter on the table and on the floor is ok….floors not being vacuumed for three days is also ok…and a messy house means many people gather together.

We only get one life….and each year I am aware of how fast it goes….

So, as all my appliances seem to be quitting, cabinets breaking days before Thanksgiving and a freezer and a smoker that call it quits….those are just irritations….

Count the gifts….enjoy the cozy, deck the halls, learn to embrace chaos, don’t look for perfection…don’t worry what others think of you….

Enjoy this crazy life.

Last night I went to dinner with my elementary and highschool friends. We have not seen each other in years….at least ten years for most of us…if not more.

Twenty one years ago I moved over an hour north of my KC homeland…and I don’t regret my choice…my husband and I have a beautiful life…but I had no idea what a great gift I had been given as a young girl to have such a tribe of friends.

I have known several of these ladies since I was five. They know everything about me…they know I have a temper…that I am horrible at sports…not the best in the grade department and that I hated PE. They know I am funny…many of them got into trouble because of me…they have seen me with braces and bad hair and all of us learning to drive..I never have to pretend with them because they know it all already.

I feel safe in this group…I always will.

Sitting at that table I knew that they all had questions about what I had been through but none of them wanted to draw that out in the group…they asked me privately…when no one else was listening…because ….they get me.

This isn’t even all of us…there were some missing from our fold tonight….but I am grateful.

Young ladies of today…we didn’t have cell phones…we passed notes…some were intercepted by teachers and taken to the principals office…ask me how I know.🤦🏼‍♀️ We learned to drive on a busy Kansas City freeway with no cellphones…no Mapquest…no GPS. We drove through bad neighborhoods without a care…and our parents never checked…they all just assumed that no news was good news.

Letter writing and diaries were basically how we unloaded our feelings….

I can tell you that most of my decision making was based on opinions of those you see here…your friends matter.

Contrary to popular belief no one cares how popular you were in highschool. No one cares if you were head cheerleader and no one cares how great you were at sports. Athletic ability goes away quickly and beauty fades even faster…make sure your heart is pretty…because that is truly all that matters.

You do not need a huge posse like me….but we had an upbringing like no other so we needed a large group of us…

Be picky with your friends…pick ones who have your back…who speak up for you in rooms that you are not in, but you are being spoken about. Pick loyalty, pick bravery, pick honesty, pick the girls who tell you that you have spinach in your teeth before going in front of a crowd…pick the girls who want you to succeed…who applaud when you do!!

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Pick the ones who love you when you are unlovely.

Once upon a time we bought an old house with three stories and beautiful pillars and I made my children hate Christmas because we had about 35 boxes to bring up every year, and I was cranky about making the house beautiful and I never enjoyed Christmas ….the End.

This house, I am MUCH better… and my one at home child would respond with a resounding YES as she only had to help me bring up three large boxes….the rest are in easy bags and every year I get a little bit smaller in my decorating….and this year is my favorite I have done in a long time.

The reason why I decorate early is because I have a retail store and it must be decorated before Thanksgiving and I always host Thanksgiving and then work Black Friday and Super Saturday….I also make homemade cookies for the store and make sure to have gifts for my staff etc….so if the house isn’t decorated before Thanksgiving …I am exhausted.

It took me years to do this…because I am a people pleaser, I would wait and then I was completely overwhelmed and absolutely hated the holidays…because I was simply exhausted.

I now buy meals to be delivered to my home that are easy to bake…I hire my daughter to make cookies….I hire people to cater the Christmas dinner for my staff….

This allows me to remain sane and to be able to concentrate on what matters…my family, my store, my staff and my customers…and that means everything.

Someday, when I no longer own a retail store…I look forward to being able to decorate the day after Thanksgiving. I look forward to going and experiencing the holidays…but for now those of us who work retail will tell you…we listen to Christmas music at the store…and silence on the way home.

I honestly wish the lights were already up because before Thanksgiving, is when I have time…but alas that is not too be.

For now…I am grateful my store is decorated and my house is as well.

Be patient with people who decorate early….i assure you…there is a reason!

I also have discovered that the turkey and Thanksgiving dinner still tastes the same whether or not the glow of the Christmas tree lights or not!

You do you!!!!

I decorated my store completely on Sunday…then felt very drained. I lacked any creativity to complete the house….now tomorrow is Friday and I work this weekend and go to see my Dad on Sunday…but today I finally made some headway…

So first the store! This year we are changing things up inside and outside…for the outside you will need to stay tuned….

For the inside Hobby Lobby had amazing large gems and I bought just about all of them…

I really enjoyed that!

I have been working hard on Christmas soaps…I’m halfway there and Monday and Tuesday of next week I should be able to tackle the rest.

Today, I was able to complete my bedroom…

In the past I have always had a tree in here but this year I just didn’t want one…can’t explain it but I felt it was cozy enough without extra clutter and I will probably bring up one of my plants to help with clutter downstairs….

I then was able to tackle the front porch….

I do have two more large ornaments to put out and we still have to hang our lights, but a lot of progress was done!

Then I conquered my mantle….i have to tell you last year I hated it all season…this year I just decided to eliminate red and went more simple…and I think it worked!

Here are one of the soaps I did as well…..

One of these adorable book vases came today…I adore this one sooo much!

Hope your decorating is going well….I am happy to be almost done….and then of course I will start tweaking everything….because that’s what I do!

The world is chaotic…life feels very much at times that I am in a fighting ring for which I have not been trained. I am tired…but for whatever reason I keep getting back up. Sometimes I feel like I should be a fictional character in a movie yelling at the fighter to just lay down…and stay down! Sometimes, I just want to stay down…and never get back up.

I should be done decorating my house but I seem to be in slow motion….going through the motions…feeling like I am walking in water. I want to run but I can’t…

I want to sit in my couch with my fluffy blanket and drink hot chocolate and forget about my problems. I don’t want to pay bills, get my oil changed…be responsible ….I don’t care anymore.

I am tired of bad and hard news…I am sick of sadness and pain…but here we go.

Tomorrow is a new day….lets go!

Sunday at church I sat and enjoyed the beautiful stained glass….there is another set of windows I will get some day…but I didn’t want to be obnoxious….

The songs this church sings….I do not know…but I do know I like them…and for now taking a step back and not being involved in worship is just the thing my spirit needs….

I will always remember the beautiful experience of bringing a congregation to the throne by leading through worship….I am forever grateful for the opportunity for over two years that I had to do so.

With all the noise of this world…I am so glad to have a place where I can rest…my soul can really rest…in a place where I see the hand of God.

I hope tomorrow as well all go to the polls on one of our most significant elections that we will be able to rest in the idea…and knowing that God is in control of it all.

Saturday, I walked with a friend of mine for my fave 5K of the year.

It is absolutely my favorite race to run. It is a very hard course.::with brutal hills…in years past I have run/walked….but this year we ran down one hill…and walked the rest….it took one hour to complete. Back when I ran a lot…most of my 5Ks were around 30 minutes…but that was then.

The day was lovely….my Louie won a prize for best dressed pet….and even though I wanted a donut very much at the end…I resisted.

There are days that I want to be done taking this cancer drug….I say things to myself like “am I really living?” I am soo tired and my body just hurts all the time.

My husband tells me to stretch….I try to tell him that the drug makes your body ache…and no stretch is going to fix it!

I hate the way I feel…I hate the way it hurts and how hard my body has to work to just do the things I used to.

But somehow….this life is worth being here for….

Life is better than a donut….it is better than sugar in my coffee.

Seeing the sun come up over my city on a lovely walk through downtown is absolutely better.

All the adventures of life are better….

How do you move past the pain when you have always been able to function with no issues whatsoever? I am still learning….

I will keep pushing….it will get better…I must believe it.

We will beat this one way or the other!

Yesterday started off difficult and ended well.

When we got to the a retirement Home, Dad had been asleep. When you wake up a dementia patient they have difficulty knowing what is reality and what was a dream. The first hour was brutal and difficult and I wanted to run away. It is never fun to watch your once very strong father cry…and that is all I will say about that.

We got him distracted with a Pepsi…for whatever reason, he’s obsessed with them. The colder, the better. The nurses tell me they bribe him to get out of bed with one…and you know what that’s ok.

My Dad has been getting up around 5 am ever since I could remember. He’s always been a Folgers man. Takes his coffee black and hot…and that’s how it always was. If he was feeling fancy we would have Maxwell House.

The retirement home Dad is in right now we don’t love but the nurses are very sweet and Dad likes to try to take off at night so we have to have a lock down facility. He is taken care of and he is clean and they are good to him.

My Dad has now taken it upon himself to make sure that the nurses know that his daughters are all teens and someday he might let us all get married…he’s not sure about that.

He apparently talks a lot about me and my sister Ronda and Kathie which made me so happy.

Yesterday for the first time in a year he said my name and he recognized me. I asked him who I was named after and he pointed to himself and said ME!

We were trying to move him to another facility but there are none that are lock down so now we are going to start moving some stuff in there he likes…whether my Mother likes it or not. She gets upset because she keeps saying she can take him home and take care of him….but she cannot. So why we try to help our Father out….our Mother is making life just as difficult….and so it goes.

We will continue to press on, and for today we are grateful for good laughter with the nurses….and that for today…Dad remembered my name.

I am in Colorado Springs right now for a Conference. I was able to enjoy Friday as we were able to see Garden of Gods.

Not sure if you’ve ever seen it, but it is magical!

I was grateful to be able to take the 2 mile hike. Grateful to be able to climb up the rocks. Grateful to have the energy to do it.

Today, I completed day one of my Diamond Training class….one more day before we head back tomorrow night…..

My heart is grateful….trying to find good in all things.

Colorado was a bit chilly yesterday for my standards…..glad they got their act together today and it’s looking better by tomorrow….happy to be headed home very soon.

Friday, after work I went to Hobby Lobby and got some amazing decor for my jewelry store….I truly cannot wait…my brain will not stop working on all the ways I am going to use these…

I then went to get some tulle for wrapping…..and for the last four years I have complained about glitter everywhere on this certain type of ribbon (blame all my years of homeschooling) we all detest glitter! This year however, if it makes my staff happy….does glitter really ruin it? Will life stop if there is glitter?

Today, was my one day off this week as there will be a very big conference I will be headed to…and I had to make today count…

My daughter and I cleaned out half of the basement…got rid of so much crap….how do we get all that? I then cleaned the house…did some baking….apple butter….sourdough bread….cut up soap. My husband warned me when he left for the day not to over do it…..

Today….I just did it because I could….

I wanted to make my sour dough bread with a pumpkin shaped on top….

I wanted to make apple butter….so I did ….pumpkin chocolate chip muffins….I made beef stew….

Then I cut up some beautiful soap I just made….

How is it that when we go through scary things and come through that we go right back to our old habits?

That grateful spirit for life and simple things goes out the window almost immediately….its like a constant fight to keep gratefulness and joy as something I choose each day.

Today my body felt like it used to. I never could do all that I did today four months ago….and today O thankfully remembered that.

This week is busy….but instead of wishing the week over….what if each day we decided we would be thankful that we get to live it.

That we get to be here…that we get to enjoy fall and all the amazing things we are seeing right now…

What of we did that?