The Reluctant Red Nose

We have been traveling to Philly for about six or seven years…and no trip is ever the same…we love the city of Philadelphia…

We flew in very early Wednesday morning and arrived with no issues….we decided to try some Indian food since we very rarely get it….

We then just explored the city a little….

It is an absolutely beautiful city and I encourage you to explore!

We have just returned from our fishing trip and I am exhausted…but yet here I sit trying to figure out great problems that don’t even exist yet while I try to get through a extremely busy four days….

First of all, as all trips go…nothing went as planned, my husband and I had different opinions on priorities…and Friday just wasn’t fabulous…but we pressed on.

Determined to get there we pull into our beautiful campsite on a Friday night….I seriously have no idea why I chose a Friday night….the campground was crazy…dogs barking everywhere and kids being kids. Trying to get the campsite set up before dark…I was hurrying and cut myself severely with a knife….so much so I thought I would faint.

We took one of our dogs this time as well…and I was so nervous that he would be horrible…in the end…he was a model doggie citizen.

This was only our fifth camping trip in our new to us A-liner, and we are getting better…but still learning. This was our first fishing trip together and let’s just say….we have much to learn.

Friday night was a restless night as it always takes me forever to fall asleep. I always make up things in my mind that are horrible that are impossible to have happen…but still…there was a faint possibility our camper would roll down the hill into the woods and I worried about it all night…because that’s who I am.

On fishing trips you don’t sleep in…we were up at 6 every single morning…with the only exception being today….which is a long story.

Saturday morning found me cranky and tired and the most serious bags under my eyes you ever did see. My husband decided to buy me a new fishing rod and reel for his birthday (because that’s what he does) and so our first plan was for me to learn how to use it…

Saturday we got skunked but really only had a couple of hours to practice so to me I just considered our tags a donation to the conservation department….your welcome!

Sunday found us rejuvenated….and you should know that most fisher men and women are very helpful and kind….and you learn a ton just by asking …who knew garlic would be a trouts best friend? But this trip it was!

Then Monday came….and boys and girls the fish gods were smiling on me….we had all our fish caught by 9:45….8 fish….all done! I also got the biggest one of the day…which gave me bragging rights all day!

This was my first day wearing hip waders ever and they certainly gave me advantage!

Tuesday was a lot harder….the fish were skunking me…but finally…I caught two and my husband three. He technically caught four but one was too tiny….

We met the nicest people….one fisherman gave us his filet knife when he saw the crappy one we had…fisher people are just like that…and it gives me all the feels.

Our campsite was beautiful…

Mark was able to take fly fishing lessons and get himself a nice rod and reel and some flies to begin this journey….

We ate well….got to use the pizza oven that our friends told us about and I got for Marks birthday!

Sooo good and soooo fast!

We of course enjoyed s’mores!

Mark made a cherry jubilee in the campfire coals….turned out pretty amazing!

It’s seriously a yellow cake mix…we recommend two jars of cherry pie filling and a can of ginger ale and if soo good!

We taught Ellie how to clean fish and cook…

Fishing is not her fave….but she’s a good sport…she worked on a writing project, drew and entertained Louie.

Camping isn’t always relaxing…this trip was busy….I was dirty pretty much all the time…the showers at the campground were not ideal…I had enough dry shampoo when I got home today in my hair…it felt like straw…

There were daddy long legs constantly in the bathroom…the raccoons got into one of our coolers last night…and woke us all up at 1 am. Totally my fault…it started raining and I didn’t do my normal locking procedures and boy did we all pay! There is a couple of raccoons with my chicken chili and a whole bag of cheese farting their way through the state park! It rained every single night we were there except one….the bees were awful….but I am so grateful that we have a camper…it made life so much better!

If you wait to figure everything out for a new adventure you will never do it! Go do it! Learn from your mistakes and come back stronger!

Enjoy the outdoors!

Childhood memories have come running back to me as we have started camping in our A-frame camper. Growing up we had a pop up camper…and even though ours is a bit different…the smell of our camper….took me right back to childhood.

At first I thought about getting an air freshener to help….but realized that that “camper” smell was in all campers and it wasn’t going away and really I didn’t want it to.

When I was little we would go on camping adventures. We went on “float trips” down the River and I got to ride back on my dads motorcycle with a helmet that would choke me because it was too big for my head…and I burned my foot on the exhaust (because I wasn’t the sharpest kid back then and it looked like the perfect place to rest my foot, and no we didn’t wear shoes always ) I also caught my foot in the bike spokes as I was riding on the front of the bike…but that is another story for another day….

On rainy days we would play dominos….I remember not being super good at it…but I still remembered playing it.

Today, I asked my Dad if he would play with me…and even though he never said my name today…but yet again said my husbands….I had my Dad back. ….for just a little bit.

He could add the numbers faster than my Mom and I….and had you just walked up to him and observed us you would never know that he had dementia. He was just like his old self….and for that hour….my Dad was back. As my Dad and I tried to do things we aren’t allowed to play in dominos and my Mom would yell no and we would laugh…I prayed my daughter held on to this day as a “good one”. Because it was a gift….and I saw it as that…through the game of dominos, my Dad was brought back and for that I am so grateful.

As we walked to the car…the confusion came back…the constant questions returned….but for today….I had him back while we played dominos…..and you bet when I visit him again…I’m bringing them again. I’m ever hopeful that we can get that amazing link back again….but if not, I’m thankful for today…and I will keep working to find ways to bring him back each time.

This year has been busy and we have crossed many milestones. Our store this year is celebrating 75 years in business. My father n law started it way back in 1948 as a clock shop.

This year my husband and I celebrate 20 years of married life.:.and it seems hard to believe that is a milestone we have reached. Time absolutely flies!

This year we went to Antigua in March…and we have my husbands eldest getting married in October….so we decided on a quick weekend getaway to Table Rock lake. This particular venue I booked back in April. In January we stayed at the silo, owned by the same people who owned the treehouse and I really can’t say enough good things about these particular properties..Tranquil Treehouse did not disappoint.

This property is 30 minutes from town, but only 10 minutes from Roaring River. The weather was the only negative thing this weekend…we are in a heat advisory until Thursday and it is just wicked hot. However,

You then cross a swaying bridge….

She always has personalized signs and snacks all ready for ya!

We took an outdoor shower almost immediately due to the sweating…we are just not used to that kind of heat here…

I ordered pre made meals from Home Chef for all our meals and I highly recommend it….absolutely no worries on forgetting an ingredient. We are well all weekend…the kitchen comes fully stocked!

Feel free to play a video game….it actually works!

Take a lovely soak in the Six foot tub….

Get a good nights sleep in the Chevy Truck bed…thankfully not a Ford 🥴

Quirky details that I adore…

The next day we decided to get up very early if we were gonna have a chance to kayak

Then this morning we got up and went to Roaring River…which never disappoints….

Next month we will be going on our Trout fishing trip! I cannot wait!

This year marks my third visit to clown camp. This time, I had to go alone which was more terrifying than I had imagined. My clown friend that I had the first and second time, could not return this year because she was in the process of moving. I made the decision to be brave, but that day arrived and I had to just do it.

After the two airplane rides, getting all luggage by myself and hauling it out to the Uber line, getting into the Uber and meeting the sweetest driver….my nerves….finally just ….well it got worse . I got to the hotel, decided to grab lunch and then I did the most “unclown” thing…I slept and did some work….ordered more dinner…slept…woke up and had breakfast alone….by this time I was in tears and ready to go home. So I checked out and sat in the lobby….and I didn’t have to wait king to find “my tribe”. After they expressed they didn’t know I was there …or we could have done this….

We went to lunch and everything got much better.

It is hard to transition from real life to clown life…but Mooseburger camp has it all figured out…we first ride a bus together…it was about an hour and a half bus ride….

We get picked up by actual clowns…

Once we get to camp we are greeted by staff and things are “organized chaos”. This being our first year in a new facility, even alumni couldn’t really help because it was new to us as well.

Then that evening we have a staff show….which always brings all of us together. In case you are not aware, these clowns teaching us are the real deal….most, if not all, have been a part of the greatest show on earth…no one can teach you better than those who have done it themselves.

Staff show!

At night the alumni would perform skits….again….pushing ourselves!

Then it was time for the great pie fight….

And all the shenanigans in between….the hobo party, the skits, the get togethers….all leading up to the big show.

Then it was time for the All Star Clown Show!

I will have pics of the show soon…but for now…we have these…

A great thing we have at clown camp is meeting legends who we get to learn from and who encourage us….this week we got to meet with the dean of Students from Ringley Bros. Clown college who taught four of the greatest clowns this country has seen. It was soo neat to hear of his experiences. An amazing man! We were blessed!

And that’s a wrap……until next year my “clown tribe.”

I’m in my hotel room in Minnesota. every step of this trip Jesus has proved that He’s got my back.

This morning my alarm went off at 2:30….my body wasn’t even sure what it was supposed to do. I just put one foot in front of the other. As my husband drove me to the airport, I still didn’t want to go. He dropped me off and I had no choice but to put one foot in front of the other…

I learned how to put the bag tags on myself…that’s one job I never did…my husband and daughter always do it. I then went through security…..new things today…shoulder to shoulder with a stranger and walk the same pace as the drug or bomb sniffing dogs go around you….then through security where I didn’t even have to take my shoes off or take my electronics out of my bag…nor did I have to go through the scanner where I put my arms up….it was lovely! Normally I’m almost in tears from the grumpy people…today everyone was happy…and very kind.

Both flights were Southwest and the people were like super duper nice. Passengers were kind and sweet…and certain interactions with passengers that were clear that Jesus had my back. Listening to a passenger telling to another about Elevation Worship and their newest song. Listening to a pastor converse with his family…and as he talked to me he had the kindest eyes….that to me was God saying…keep going…this is what I want you to do.

I learned how to do Uber myself..and had the sweetest Sudanese man who would not let me help with my suitcases….if only who knew one suitcase was full of clown supplies.

Made it into my hotel where they actually had my room ready at 11 in the afternoon…which was shocking to me…

Today was a day of rest and relaxation, and reflexión.

I don’t expect people to understand why I do this….

But if you could see the faces of the little kids the first time they see me…if you could see the eyes light up of the elderly as they play silly games with me…or the parents who didn’t want to laugh but I eventually win them over…you understand that this is necessary. If I’m going to do this well….I must return and learn from the best.

This week will be uncomfortable….it already has been….but I knew if I stayed home I would regret it.

Every time I’ve pushed myself to do something that I didn’t want to do I’ve always been so happy once I did it. This week of training is no different.

Nothing could possibly sum it better than that quote.

This week if you follow my social media accounts I will take you along because this adventure can’t be explained…it must be experienced….

Signing out of my comfort zone….see you all on the other side….

My husband and myself have been working on an empty nest for awhile…the first one flew away around 11 years ago. We got used to that…and then the other one flew about a year after that. We then had a few years to recover…and about five years…my son flew the nest…but with college, we had four years to get used to it. Then last year he went off to Chicago…hated it…returned close to home…then flew off to DC. Now we have two in DC and one here that we never get to see, and one at home.

I knew I would struggle with my last birdie. It would be a whole lot easier if she was a difficult child. If she was hateful or rude and mean…but she simply isn’t. She never has been. She has her moments…but they are few and far between.

A few weeks ago she went to camp. She was gone for four days…that is it…and I missed her horribly….

Next week I go away to clown camp. This will be my third time going. I haven’t been for six years. I hope that this time will be a time of tremendous growth…and being able to push past my fears. However, I find myself homesick for my husband and child before I even leave…and I am not sure how I will get through an entire week.

My new schedule has begun…where I have two days off each week…and for the first time in a long time…I am well aware of the warp speed in which time is going….

These are the times…I want to remember each thing that passes through my hands…

Instead of waiting for the weeks to go by and marking them with “exciting and worthy” things…I want to remember the “everyday “ things. The way sourdough bread feels in my hands. The way Ellianna loves to smell bread baking or muffins. The afternoon phone call from my son…texts from my husband.

The barking of my dogs at the deer in the back yard. The ding of the bell of people coming into my store. The changing of seasons. Nothing quite as beautiful as the beauty of summer into fall.

Life goes by so quickly….and I feel it even faster now….I have three small years left with my youngest….and since I’ve been there before I know exactly how bad this will feel…but this will be far worse…because…she’s the last one…and if I’ve done my job well…she will fly as high as her siblings…and that has to be enough…

I am tired at the thought.

I know I never deserved her….she was the answer to every prayer I ever had. When my heart needed one more baby…a girl…with curly hair and blue eyes….and she has been all the things and more I have ever prayed for. My children are a huge blessing to me…and they both are my greatest accomplishments.

This word is said a lot….and is misused quite often. It has taken me years to finally even understand what it truly is. First time I experienced anything close to this was when I first met my first husbands family. I went into full blown panic attack. My heart was Racing and my hands went numb….that’s not what this is.

Second time was when I was pregnant with my son and we were on a hike and I absolutely freaked out about heights….like I froze where I was and my family had to hold my hand like I was four. I couldn’t rationalize anything…just felt complete terror.

I have had more of these occur when we fly to places where we have extreme turbulence. My husband reminds me to breathe because I get hot and sweaty and my hands go numb…. Normally fine by the time we get to our gate…but it’s touch and go there for awhile….

However, the last several months I have just been unable to relax. Irrational fears have taken hold of me…so much so that I am having such a time with just enjoying life.

The last four years we have weathered an enormous storm…I feel that I was in “survival” mode. Now that we have gone through the tremendous tribulation…I find myself in some sort of PTSD …

For instance we went camping the other night and all I could fixate on was how our family would die in our camper….

I have no idea why…but that’s where I am.

For the last two years my work schedule has been insane and I’ve had no time for clowning, homeschooling my daughter, the gym, friends….I’ve just been working…and my husband and I agreed this could not go on any longer…

So now I’ve been getting ready to enjoy a new schedule, and able to make appointments and look forward to happy things. Not that my work wasn’t happy but when you own your own business it’s very stressful. When I go home I don’t have the luxury of turning it off… always thinking about it…

Lately, everything seems impossible and I have no reason why…

The only conclusion I can come to is that Satan is doing his very best to steal my joy. To rob me of my peace. To steal my energy and joy I can bring to others. To distract me from my children….and he does this by causing me to fixate on things that are not anything to worry about.

God has proven again and again and again…that He takes good care of me..and He knows exactly what I need.

So for now….I pray…I read scripture….I meditate on the blessings….

Thank you Lord for all the blessings.

Believe it or not this was our 12th visit that we have been going to one of the worlds largest jewelry shows in the country…and I must tell you that pretty much everything seemed off about this trip.

It wasn’t the first time we have taken our daughter on a business trip with us…she knows the drill. It wasn’t the first time I have taken my midwest body to the desert….but you would certainly think that I’ve never been on a jewelry trip…nor have I ever gone to the desert.

We arrived in Vegas last Thursday night around midnight Vegas time, making that around 2 am our time. We were exhausted. Uber decided to be super high, the hotel we stayed out didn’t have their act together. Even though I had already checked in and was supposedly just needed to check in no contact…all 10 no contact key holders were empty….causing all 15 of us to wait in line for our keys….to say we were all annoyed would be an understatement.

Finally to our rooms which was very clean and beds were comfortable. This was our second time staying at the Mirage…and we have never had an issue…this time I wasn’t terribly unhappy but housekeeping didn’t happen the entire time we were there and I think you can blame that on Covid changing everything for good…and I found it quite annoying…still the Mirage hotel is gorgeous….

Day one of the JCK show found us with unbelievable lines….the worst we have ever experienced….

Finally. We got in!!!

To explain JCK is impossible….it’s huge, tons of security, tons of police….I feel very safe.

The first day brought us to one of our biggest vendors….

Because I like to get a lot done I decided to forget to drink wanted and waited way too long to eat…..sadly my body gave out…and I had to be walked back very slowly to my hotel…and then rehydrated and ate and slept…missing the entire rest of the first day….

Second day, we seemed to be gaining a little ground….much more productive….

We finally seemed to be gaining ground….until the 16 year old lost my corporate credit card, which led to a dig in the trash…and then a call to the credit card company….nothing gelato couldn’t help.

Then we headed to Tournament of Kings…which was very well done…and everyone had a blast!

Then came Sunday….where my Ellie got sick…and we had to do a lot of things without her.

However, we did find a new bridal line and some other fun things…..

We got some new things from our current bridal line and some a lot of fun things that we will have in store soon!

On our way home our flight was delayed until the next day….they overbooked our flight…they paid for our hotel and transport to hotel and back to airport….Ellie was still sick so this was hard when you just want to be home. Now Mark and I are sick and Ellie is better (which we are grateful for). She has missed swim all week and her swim meet today….next week we hope to be all better. Vegas this time wore us all out….but we did get a lot done!

Next weekend….camping!

For the last three years I have asked to go away for my birthday. I don’t need things…I just want time and adventure. This year, I asked for my kiddos to tag along. My son will probably be nowhere near us next year and Ellie will probably be very busy with a job and her friends etc…

So, this year I chose the same town…Harrison Arkansas but a different location….

We also had some amazing hiking….

On my actual birthday we traveled home…but my son and daughter brought me a crown…made me laugh!

We got home and celebrated with cake and ice cream of course…

Today. Went to work….

Was loved on at work….and Louie found his fave spot….

I then went to clown for two different classes at a local school. They asked me to come back for end of year celebrations and since yesterday was my birthday I decided to celebrate in clown fashion….

Then I ended my day here where I practiced for church music on Sunday….

We only have a short time on the planet….what will you do with it?