The Reluctant Red Nose

Another year has come…and I look back at it and I am grateful…. We had a son graduate from college. He graduated from Mizzou, from the school of Journalism.

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My eldest stepdaughter graduated from Penn with her doctorate in Microbiology. She then got engaged……

For fun trips this year we had a few….

We went to Tucson, Las Vegas, Arkansas, and Cozumel. Had some fun weekend getaways…..

Ellianna enjoyed swimming and art classes…she continued in violin….

We had some fun events at our store…

We adopted a rescue dog from the shelter….

We had to say goodby to our Charlie dog that we have loved for over ten years….

I started a new program called Red Nose Readers which has gone over really well at area schools and have several bookings for the month of January….

I was scared to start this program and overcame a lot of fear…

I clowned at a lot of events ….

Got a little better at playing keyboard at our church….

My goals each year are simple….last year it was to live more simply, travel more, less things, more memories. I also have a full year of working out behind me as well. December was a dumpster fire for the gym though…but this week we will be back at it.

We hope to get one of the trips we were to take when Covid hit…and we hope to travel more. We have a wedding to attend in the fall. Marks eldest daughter will say I do.

I plan on attending clown school for the third time…I’m hoping to be stretched…I will be going without my bestie clown friend this year and I frankly, am scared…but I know this is the next step I must take.

As we get older we work harder to keep our bodies in shape. This year that will continue. We want to be able to hike well into our 70s and maybe 80s. I want to be an active clown…and I can’t do that if I’m not in shape.

Hope repairs will continue…two big projects we were not able to accomplish last year.

Ellie needs to learn how to drive this year…and Trey will be figuring out which career path he wants….

We continue to navigate our store and all the improvements and exciting events we want to plan as we continue…

May you have an amazing 2023…as for me…I don’t need amazing…but peaceful…peaceful would be great.

Today was a day…..

I went to the post office to mail a package that my son asked me to. I was called up from the line in which I was standing to be helped…immediately after that…he began to help the person next to him.

I’ve been to this certain postal place almost weekly for years…they all know me…but for whatever reason this particular person today acts as if I’ve never darkened the doors. Takes forever to wait on me…and then hours later I get an email where he forgot important information. I was that little of importance to him.

I then return to the orthodontist to pick up my teen. I wait in the parking lot…as most parents do…because she’s a teen and will be driving soon. The tech comes out (who must have been a hall monitor) and basically is wanting me to be outraged at my daughter for breaking several brackets. When it seems my only concern is that they be fixed she starts to act like my daughter is lying about what she’s eating…since these are the first brackets she’s ever broken I’m not really upset…but this is not enough for this tech. She goes on and on about the list of foods she can’t have…when I tell her we don’t eat popcorn or skittles or these things she insists that my daughter is eating something she should not. When I still seem unphased (because at this point I’m wonder why we are discussing it when all she needed to do was fix it… she then tells me how much it will be to fix broken brackets…and tells me I can make payments since it’s the holidays. What???? Do I look like I can’t afford to pay my bills. This is my third child in braces…which means I’ve given this orthodontist over $15,000 and this tech is acting like I can’t afford this tiny bill? She then goes on to basically say that I should have known my daughter broke her brackets. First of all, what would it matter if she did…it takes two months to get Into the orthodontist anyway…second. My daughter is 15…haven’t checked her teeth since she was 12…and she was just at the dentist and they said nothing about it at all…

I then called the office. Yelled at the poor receptionist…who promised to take care of it and that my daughter nor myself will never have to deal with this person again…

I then went back to my store…and proceeded to have a continuously bad day….but then I had a party…and yes…more things went wrong…but then my husband came down dressed like this….

We had good food and enjoyed a great night together….

We played a game of Grinch where my team won!!!

We had a great night….

And I’m hopeful tomorrow will be a better day…with less hall monitors in it.

I normally get sick in like February through April….that’s normally when my body says…I give up.

I have to tell you I have not been sick during Christmas Time in…years.

I normally always get a flu shot and now I get a Covid booster…but sadly I have had direct exposures to Covid for several weeks…which delayed me in getting shots. AKA I never did get the shots…but then basically got Covid/flu and my husband had a strange variation of the RSV virus…now we tested negative for Covid…my husband tested negative for flu…but they told us there is a new variation which he probably has. The man has been down for a week and a half…I’ve been out of my store for almost a week. We also had two more employees out at the same time…with Covid…so to say that our staff is tired would be an understatement.

If you own a business and you homeschool your child…you know about how much rest I got…which is why I’m going back to work tomorrow…and will take extra naps on Sunday.

I had high hopes on reading books…but my eyes would water so fixating was hard. Was going to finish finalizing some trip plans for January and February but my brain was fuzzy just putting a Walmart order together. I thought we would catch up on school but my daughter was coughing so much and had a fever I knew she wouldn’t retain anything she read anyway….

So, alas…I spent a lot of time watching tik toks. Falling asleep during movies and cuddling with my dogs. I seriously think they are the only ones that benefitted this week.

My dogs stayed with me….

I was able to get a lot of Christmas shopping done…I believe I’m done. Even ordered Christmas cards for the first time in a very long time…

But I absolutely stink at being still….

I try to…but then the phone dings and I have to answer it for work and sometimes I wonder…what would happen if I just let it be for a bit. What if for 30 minutes each day I just said no to the noise…no to the impatient texters…and no to anything but being in the moment….

The last three months I’ve done this every morning. I’ve set my phone to be on do not disturb while I’m on the fitness app….and it has made such a difference.

It’s been really difficult this last week because I’ve been sick and so I haven’t been able to take the dog for a walk in the early morning hours…my body and mind need it. I need to be quiet.

During this season of making memories to the point of making ourself delirious…may we remember that sometimes the best memories are the quietest moments…

Sometimes they are reading or doing a puzzle together. Sometimes it’s a candle service…you never know.

Just enjoy the quiet…

It’s been five years…and it’s off to clown camp I go again. I am aware of how odd it sounds…but alas…I just don’t care anymore. So this next August, away I go!

When I was a child I was fascinated with clowns. Every year for Halloween, that is what I wanted to be..but I was way to shy to ask my Mom if I could. I was afraid she would not let me and would make fun of me…so I never did…but I was always fascinated by them.

I’m sure it is odd that I have never been to an actual circus but it is very true…but I have performed in a “circus like” show in front of hundreds of people twice…and I was trained by real life professional clowns…twice.

This year, after five years…I’m back at it. The last two times I’ve gone I’ve played it pretty safe…ventured out…learned a lot…but as I have ventured into Red Nose Readers, been asked to clown at more and more school events…I knew I had to have more training..

I knew that I needed to be real with my teachers and let them know just the kind of clown character I am…and that my friends is hard to do…

I have always been a “clown” just ask my teachers or classmates….school was boring…I was always in trouble for talking…and I frustrated many teachers…but when my friends laughed…that’s all I ever needed…I truly…didn’t care how many demerits you gave me…I was perfectly fine with the laughing.

When I told one of my teachers the character that I had started to bring out and the great results I was getting…I was pretty sure that I would get met with…disapproving, that’s not professional nods…but I did not…

Instead, I was given the ok…to bring my beloved fat suit….

And I cannot tell you the joy I find in that. I’m always tempted to go the “cutesy” way…

And “cute” clowns are adorable….but to me it’s too “safe”…I don’t feel like a “clown” at all…I feel like someone who is doing a job…halfway…like I’m stuck in the middle…like I’m too much my old self. That is why I have to do this crazy character….because that’s when I truly feel like a real clown….

This year I have asked to be pushed outside my comfort zone…and so far all I know is that I will be in my fat suit for the big clown show and that’s all I know. But I have asked to be pushed…to the point of being uncomfortable…because it’s time….it’s time to finally let completely go…and just do it…

And lastly….here is a great in a fat suit…which gives me all kinds of good vibes….I’m an in NOOoOOOoO way comparing myself….just sharing one of the greats…here is a picture of Lou Jacobs in a fat suit that one of my teachers sent me….

I can’t love it enough!!!

Last week for Thanksgiving was wonderful…we had an amazing time with family. My son was home for almost a full week. He had a sinus infection..but got over it quickly and was able to enjoy the entire family and he turned 23.

The entries family came over that Saturday and we had a joyous time together…but did not get one single picture which was quite disappointing.

Sunday I played in church on the keyboard and my husband stayed home sick….

Monday….I went and got my precious baby…who is still unnamed…

I have missed my Charlie so much…end even though I love my Ozzie…he loves my daughter more…and I knew that he had eyes for only my girl…so he was all hers…I missed my fluffy baby.

The rest of the week has gone down from there..:my husband has been very sick all week…and now my daughter is sick…my house should be bleached from top to bottom…

I am off to work again tomorrow…so far my immunity is kicking butt….but let’s hope it stays that way….we are supposed to have our big staff Christmas Party and I hate to reschedule it…

It is in times like these that I can easily become overwhelmed….this is when my schedule fails me. My eating habits are forcibly changed…my fitness habits are changed…and lots of things can go round…I’m grateful for the job…but wish the other didn’t suffer…

My house is a wreck…school schedule is odd since my daughter is also sick..dinner schedule is off…gym is off…and I feel like my house is a dumpster fire…:

My first day that I was completely in charge…three huge things went horribly wrong before 8:30 in the morning..

As I began to panic…and become upset with my perfect schedule in complete disaster…I realized…this can be fixed next week…so for this week…this is what it looks like…and this is what needs to happen to make this week work. I am past the age of stomp king my feet…and whining and crying….in reality, I just wanted to get off at my exhumed time and go home and hold my puppy. I wanted to grade school, clean the house and wrap presents and be all ahead of Christmas…but all I can do is hope for better next week.

For now, I look forward to Sunday…we will be keeping all of our germs at home….and we will be praying for a better week!

I start new routines…and I love them…then I get sick or life gets ridiculous…and those routines go away. I started this routine back in September and so far I’ve been pretty consistent.

If you ever asked my college friends about me they would tell you that I was the worst morning person ever. I just hated everything about it…and that never changed…until I had babies…and then..it was better. However, I much preferred sleeping to greeting the morning sun.

However, life has demands and I didn’t want to give up any of those demands so I just started my day earlier.

I rise at 5:05…get out of bed at 5:09…why those weird times? I don’t know but it works for me. I take a shower, check bank accounts and orders that I’ve placed…I check email etc…and then after I have that glorious cup of coffee…I take my dog on a walk…he has become more like a teen as of late and seems to want to go back to bed just as much as I do…but we press on.

I line to watch the sun rise…listen to my neighborhood wake up. Watch the deer and the rabbits run around. My brain can think, I can relax…I think clearly…and my head feels clear. I love to watch the sun come up as we head back to the house…and I love the promise of a new day.

I head to work an hour and a half before most people get there and am able to plan my day and write reminders for my staff. This change in schedule allows me to be able to homeschool my daughter by being able to leave before lunch to check her progress and continue teaching her the rest of the day.

This schedule allows me to continue clowning at local schools for the Red Nose Reader Program.

It allows me to be able to have time to practice for keyboard at church…and it enables me to be able to cook and clean and make soap and all the things that I have wanted to continue to do.

It has also allowed me to work out…even though it’s been two weeks since I’ve headed to the gym sadly…but soon we hope to get back on track.

I think the key to routines is to keep showing up…even when you miss…show up next time…and the misses will get less.

Here’s a look back to this past month and a half…

Red Nose Reader Program has been a ton of fun…but I needed to make it mine..so I brought this character along….and the kiddos howled!

It was so much fun! I’ve got a full calendar for January…

We did get to go camping twice…hopefully next year will bring more…

Ellie enjoyed art classes…

We had a fabulous ladies night!

Clowned around at our church and various places around town for October….

Went to a banquet to honor a really special youth leader…decided to sponsor a table.

Played some keyboard for church.

Decorated my store and home for Christmas…

Had thanksgiving….

Now we we prepare tomorrow for second thanksgiving and some clowning around for Christmas.

Here’s to hoping that next month I’m able to get more blogging done than every other month! Have a great day!!!

It’s amazing how quickly time evaporates…

It’s amazing how little I seem to learn along the way. I feel that I keep learning new lessons the old way and am always surprised by them.

Life is busy and full of many challenges…in the need for rest…I find myself battling. Is the rest needed, or is the rest pure laziness. There is a fine line and a hard battle between those two.

I feel that for many of us…we are given a job to do that only we ourselves can fill. We are the only ones they can do the job effectively. However, we make excuses not to do them. Some of these excuses are legitimate. I used to sacrifice my time with my family in order to pour into the lives of those at our previous church. My motives were pure…and even though I know I did some good and helped people…I know I missed out on time with my family that I will never get back.

I now have one last teen at home…so I can feel free to do some of these “obligations” more…because she doesn’t need me constantly like she did when she was little. The ministry becomes a blessing again…instead of a hardship that drains me and makes me feel like I’m choosing between my favorite loves.

Tonight I fought with God a little bit…a camping trip was moved…selfishly I thought to myself…two weeks of camping…but my husband reminded me that we had signed up for things…we had an obligation…and we didn’t take that obligation lightly.

In doing so…this obligation…opened up the door for another opportunity that I had said no to….but it became crystal clear that my answer should be yes…so I did what all well meaning people do 🥴….I made excuses…I argued…I folded laundry and argued with myself more…walked the dog…and before my eyes the trip fell into place..and I was left with no other choice. Reluctantly I made the phone call….I was half expecting them to say they didn’t need me…but the opposite came to be.

The anxiety I felt went away…immediately. I surrendered completely….what would you have me do, what character would you have me be (she picked my favorite) and all at once…that contentment returned…

I don’t have to explain to people why I do what I do….I really don’t….

I didn’t ask for the burden to share laughter with others something to be mine….but whatever reason it is a job that was given to me…

Some days….I don’t want it. I want to sit in the back and disappear…I don’t want to draw attention to myself. I want to be quiet….but at the same time…I know thet isn’t really who I am. I was not made to sit and be quiet…I was made to make you laugh…and I sometimes forget that. I think Covid made me lazy….I still have to push myself to do what I know needs to be done.

So….yep….keep on going sister….even when you feel you just don’t want to.

My daughters back to school dance was at the most amazing venue…absolutely breathtaking!

She danced the night away with her friends…she had a glorious time!

I haven’t written in forever….life has been crazy.

For my anniversary I found this amazing container home to stay in for a weekend.

We found an amazing coffee shop…

The container home was right by a gorgeous river…that we had all to ourselves…it was amazing.

If you are ever in Mount Vernon Missouri…make sure to look this place up!

I have been to Hawaii three times and I have to say…Cozumel is right up there with it. The water is just incredible….

We went with a tour called Enva Tours. I highly recommend them. It was a gorgeous snorkel event. Snorkel gear is included..along with beer (my husband and I don’t drink beer, but if you desire…it’s there).

Your tour starts with no sunscreen allowed which at first confused me…but then I understood once I saw the glass bottom boat itself. We also leave our sandals on shore.

I am as fair as they come, and I didn’t get burned…

The crew was extremely professional and safe. I appreciated the camera work…which you can buy (and we did) cheaper than an underwater camera…and some of these pictures I could have never gotten…they also got some amazing video.

They even download it on your phone…I can’t say enough good things about the experience…

If you are in n Cozumel…you must do this! Such an amazing time!