The Reluctant Red Nose

Like everyone here in the Midwest, I’m very sick of covid. I’m so happy that we have had such lovely and warm days here lately. It has definitely helped with my anxiety. I don’t know why…it just has.

I was always hopeful that as an adult I would crave less sweets and always want to drink water and exercise…Covid has taught me that left to my own devices, I would surely spend it differently. I imagine I would be covered in candy bar wrappers and watching Netflix so much it actually checks in on me. Thankfully, my husband knows me well…and even though I may pout like a five year old lately. He offers me cream slushes from sonic…and what do you know!? I can walk four miles for a hike! I feel so much better when I get out and about and move around. My whole entire outlook changes. But I remain stubborn…and I want to sit in my corner…and try to forget what all is going on.

My joy for hand sanitizer, in the beginning was elated….now I find myself being critical of the runny ones and shaking my head like some cantankerous old lady. I find myself irritated at dried out wipes to wipe off carts and glaring at people who don’t have their masks over their nose. I find myself abandoning lipstick, because it just ends up on my mask anyway.

I no longer put my thermometer up…it sits out daily for me to take my temp twenty times a day. Because at least twice a day, I’m sure I have the Rona.

Events we were looking forward to for next year have already been canceled. My husband is trying to get me to book flights for events…and I’ve become like Eyore…”probably gonna be canceled anyway.” And so far….I’ve been right.

My husband has had to talk me off the ledge so much he should be certified in psychology. I have thought the end of the world was coming at least four times in just this year.

I finally had to speak with someone because I seriously wanted to crawl in a hole with my blanket and let the whole world just burn itself to the ground. I was pretty sure that was going to happen anyway.

Right now, all of us control freaks are having issues. Those of us, who are planners, are sitting around painting and decorating something…anything that will stand still. I liked to see what’s coming….and so far I could have not predicted absolutely anything about this year or next unless I was in a drug induced state.

The only thing we have going for is right now is those that have shown themselves with the memes….the memes have carried us through.

Today, as I was leaving Sams…I looked around at the town I lived in. There was masks everywhere…and on everyone. Still, I will say I was met with smiles. I have now learned how to read a smile with a mask. I was happy for each and every sales associate I met, they were kind and happy….which means they themselves have been treated that way thus far.

As I rushed to my parents house to bring them a microwave (theirs died today) I was grateful. Grateful that I live in a country where I can get a microwave immediately. I am grateful that I have so much food in my house I could feed a small city. Grateful for my car and my home and all the blessings that we have in our life. I’m overwhelmed with our community how they support small businesses and how they have supported us. I’m grateful for the people that I have met doing amazing things in our community.

So many things to be anxious about…and I’m right there with you. However, there are more things to be grateful about than anxious.

I just wish I would remember that….before I have to be brought back from the ledge. We can do this!!!

Today I got excited….second vaccine is showing promise….and then as soon as I got excited…the negative came back. Normal travel might be possible in the fall of 2021? I’m sorry, what?

Today, was a gorgeous rare warm day in November. The sun was shining…and we were all about it. I had to return some things and pick up some things…and I seem to be in denial that Thanksgiving is next week or that my only son, my eldest child will be 21….and I find myself all over the place emotion wise.

Everyone was out today…I think everyone like me, just realized that we are indeed having a holiday…and even though it looks different for all of us…we are indeed having Thanksgiving.

Every year everyone writes all the things they are thankful for…and I giggled to myself because I haven’t seen ONE thankful post this year…and I said to myself….same.

Right now, it’s a motivational speech to get me out of bed at 6:15 am…to then do all the things…and last but not least…how much makeup should I put on since I will be wearing a mask virtually all day.

I find myself exhausted with vaccine or not to vaccine ….mask wearers and the Ones who refuse to wear a mask. Customers that complain that we wear masks…and customers complain that we don’t do enough. People that think all businesses should be closed until next year…and the rest of us trying to make a living. UPS drivers and Fed Ex drivers and USPS workers already overwhelmed before the holiday season even begins. Talk of toilet paper shortages again…and I’m over it.

I am tired of no smiles when I go shopping….and people who wear masks do so wrong that they might as well not even bother.

I find myself happy to see hand sanitizer everywhere….it’s like a dream come true…and confused at why Walmart NEVER has hand sanitizer…seriously? Why???

I find myself longing for 2021, but then realizing that it will probably feel much the same…and that is when I realized why we all seem to be struggling.

When you go through a personal trial…there is no timetable. There is no set time for this period of pain that you go through to be over. It’s a personal journey that you and you alone must walk. The difficulty with the whole world going through it at the same time…is just that….the whole world is going through it.

If you ever wondered if misery loves company…here’s your answer. If you have ever lost big and hurt even worse…and you were mad when you heard joy as you wept for your pain…here it is. The whole world is suffering….and I’ve never felt more hopeless to help it.

My hands have been tied from what I usually do to end sadness and to bring those that wander back to reality. Those people I have lost…and maybe even forever. My job has been cancelled…joy has taken a back seat to survival..for me, I find that the two go hand in hand.

Even though this virus is so real and devastating to the vulnerable….I feel the healthier part of society is suffering in a different way. Our burdens have never seemed so heavy as we seek to care for the lost, the hurting, the diseased and the elderly. We are tossed in the middle…surrounded by those that fear everything and those that fear nothing. We are a generation with young children and aging parents that we have to constantly chastise for going out to play when they should be staying hone. We are a generation that is being pulled in both ends.

2020 was supposed to be a year full of promise and life changing trips

. Finally putting a stamp in my passport and achieving new goals I never thought possible….instead it’s been a nail biter…and I feel that we have been through somewhat of a battle.

If you like British television you might be familiar with the show Foyles War, which depicts life during WW II . There is one scene where they have found an onion and it’s going to be the prize of a raffle. They all pick it up and smell it…and imagine the tastes that will come because of it…and even though starvation is not on any of our minds….I know we long for other things. Laughter, contact, hugs and a normal way of living. Eating in restaurants. Going to the movies…and concerts and traveling. Airports that are full and busy and full of annoying beeps….it’s almost been a year since we have travelled on a plane and that is crazy for us!

Covid is not war…and I would never say it is…but I feel that we have all lost greatly…I feel as if we have all suffered…and that I imagine is what it must feel like to be a survivor of war.

Many of us have started decorating for Christmas…trying to do what we we can to soothe our souls and provide some joy in our hone. Meanwhile, I’ve already seen the hateful comments for that.

May I say this: I to, , used to Be one of those form believers in waiting until after thanksgiving…but then last year I changed it…and this year I did it even earlier. Game changer! Normally we have had always had a huge event that I’m getting ready for that we are not doing this year…and decorating early for all the craziness that is coming has helped my anxiety tremendously. For those of you who think you need to comment to those who have decorated….mind ya business. Because it’s a game changer…and I’m here for it!

May you be blessed and stay well!!!

Like every American right now….I feel a desperate need for hope and happiness that I have never felt or longed for in my country ever. As an American , I have always felt safe and content…and proud of my country. Now today, I weep as we seek more lost and alone than ever before. I’m tired of hearing the words Covid, election, and looting…I’m over it.

I voted, I did my part…and now…we all just wait. I long for peace. I long to see smiles on faces, and hug people. I’m not a hugger and even I long for it now. I long to see children’s faces and be in large crowds…but for now…that remains off limits.

For days….I have felt so anxious. Not sure what was happening in my country. I was grieving for my community as more and more people were getting sick…and finally….I just turned everything off.

I chose to choose hope. I chose to put down fear. There is nothing that my worry will fix or my anxious heart…it was only making those around me miserable. I have children…and I cannot make them feel that all is lost…all is NOT lost…or NEVER is…even though it very much feels that way. There is always hope in the darkness…you just have to be the light in the darkness.

So, I did what many of you have done….and I turned on the twinkle lights….two weeks early….

It is so easy to get caught up in the hysteria. To read the headlines and feel that we are all headed for disaster…but one day we will all look back on this year…and be so glad it’s behind us…but more grateful that we lived through it and all the lessons we learned.

As many things as Covid has ruined…there have been some bright spots…last week we were able to go on another outdoor Covid free adventure…

This is the year I have dubbed “simple pleasures” because absolutely nothing about it has been exciting…but instead has given us a front row seat to simple. To getting back to basics…to loving our homes and spaces and making them work better for us…and that can’t all be bad.

I encourage you to turn off the noise…embrace some twinkle lights…and get creative in how you share joy….and lets find a way to be merry once again!

I’ve written six blog posts..:and erased them all.

I’ve tried to set goals for things to accomplish during this time. Fitness goals, and personal goals. Home project goals and parent goals…and I have realized what many other people have discovered. I’ve discovered that I am the problem. I always was…and will most likely will continue to be.

So since I know myself…I’ve given myself a little bit of grace. Discovered what motivates me most…and learned that it isn’t at all what I thought it was

Back in March…when we all thought that by summer we would be back to normal..I was ok with some home projects, some creative thinking for outings. Then, reality of where we were and how we were getting there was brought to life…and I like you…kind of just gave up. I watched our nation burn and watched as people continued to hate…and I just found myself in a really dark place.

I am one that likes to make people smile…I need to do it not just for you, but for me. It has now been over a year since I’ve been able to do what I love. That doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. I have no idea how long it will be before I can don my red nose once again….so I have two goals…that I hope to have accomplished by February.

I was able to rent a ukulele, and this has thrilled my soul. I also have my juggling balls ready to go. I am determined to add this to my clown routine by the time we are able to get back out there. I cannot tell you how much this simple thing has lifted my spirits.

Today, I moved my plants around, hung some up in preparation for Christmas decorating…and just seeing how my plants are growing , encourages me immensely.

I was able to tackle a project that for eight years has driven me crazy in my home. The sheer anxiety that has now been relieved from me is unbelievable. How is it possible that such small inexpensive changes can lift my spirits.

Tonight I made brisket, potatoes, homemade bread and an apple crisp and I felt like a rockstar.

I went and picked out my couch (since the other one they tried to deliver was too big for our house). I found out that I won’t have my new one until after the holidays. When I didn’t yell and scream the salesmen kept repeating how much he appreciated that I wasn’t yelling and screaming. I asked him if that would make it come faster🥴. How sad is it that people are grateful because you just decided to be a normal decent human being?

Tomorrow is Halloween. We watched the movie “the Ghost and Mr. Chicken” sadly, we have never shown it to our last child…she enjoyed it. We didn’t carve pumpkins, because she wasn’t interested…she still hasn’t decided if she wants to go trick or treating one last time or not. This year is so weird…I just try to give people grace.

Today I was grateful for sunshine. Warmer temps. I was grateful for laughter as I heard my daughter laughing with one of her friends. I was grateful for food and a warm house and an oven. I was grateful for our store that our community supports. Grateful for employees that love us and made some people laugh today. I am grateful for my dog…my neighborhood. I’m grateful for my comfy chair to watch movies. My nice warm bed…and places where I can buy couches.

I’m hopeful for brighter days…but honestly I can’t look much further than a week ahead. Any further and it makes me anxious.

My sleep patterns have been off as I have laid awake with worry…which only accomplishes me being cranky and depressed the next day. I have found that negative thoughts continue and I come to conclusions that I never should come to, because I’ve thought the worst.

I will tell you that every American right now is worried. However, being worried will solve nothing, it will only harm me.

Someday. When I’m all grown up and quite old. 🥴 I hope to trust the promises of God. It is not that He promises life will be easy…but He does promise us that He will be with us. The answers of prayer He has given us so far…show me that He is for us. We are not forsaken. What more can I possibly need?

As I have become older, I try to make mental notes of things. Things I feel in my soul I need to remember. My dads hands. They have always impressed me…so strong. They could open any jar, fix any home project, build any fence, they could do anything and everything. This trip this week was about my dad…and why I was so upset that so many things went wrong.

It is not easy watching your parents age…and know that there is nothing you can do about it. How the roles reverse. You the daughter, now watching the father, to make sure he gets where he needs to go.

Asking him questions that he can no longer answer…and then the next minute he answers something that you yourself didn’t even remember the answer to.

My dad built two of our houses that we lived in growing up. He worked for over 40 years at General Mills. He worked hard so my sister and I could go to a private school and live in a nice house. He worked seven days a week, came home and worked on the house he was building. He then would build fences for horses and bale hay..those hands…they could do anything.

This past week everything that you can imagine to go wrong on a camping trip…went wrong. Flat tires and a broken water line, one of the mirrors on the truck literally flew off as we went down the road. The fishing poles broke (five out of five gave up the ghost) we bought new…no worries.

I’m not sure the last time you went somewhere with someone in their 80s….but there is a lot of repeating, lots of talking loudly…and early bedtimes.

However, I stood by the side of the river at a very early hour…and have some memories of them at their very favorite place that I now have as a memory…embedded in my mind…where I first saw my husband relax…and not think of work…

My daughter learned how to change a tire…

She also learned how to cast….did better than me I might add…

She watched her grandparents do something they loved….

She listened to repeated stories….and laughed as the smoke alarm went off in the camper while cooking….(because of course it did) she listened to her grandparents tell her parents a million times that we were going the wrong way…and she will forever giggle as she remembers how we got in our camping spot.

I will remember watching my husband and daughter help my dad do things he always has done…like clean fish…and fish. I will always remember those hands…and how he only loves his coffee one way…completely black…nothing added at all. I will always remember my husband and my dad chasing the spare tire down a hill and it going forever…(oh yes…that’s another story).

I will remember dad eating ice cream because that’s his favorite thing in the whole world…and I will remember how my daughter cooked for them and both my parents just loved it.

I hope my daughter saw the love her parents have for each other.

How our dog…could bring a smile to anyone…

How kind people were as we were stranded by the side of the road waiting for our help to show up.

This trip could be titled “typical 2020” but the good did outweigh the bad…it always does…if your brave enough to look!

Today, I actually felt like I was living in the Twilight Zone. If I just stayed off of social media and lived in the mountains I think I would be so much happier…but alas…I own a business and without social media…you are dead. So, when I answer questions or check on things I get sucked in.

Today, one of the prominent people that I follow and has a big huge booming business…went to pick her kids up in a unicorn costume…and girls…I can totally relate.

I don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to go shopping in my blowup unicorn costume…and I have one that I was supposed to wear at an actual function….

The thing is, I’m not sure that if I actually wore it that anyone would notice….I mean, I think everyone would keep on shopping and say…”yep, it’s 2020.”

I feel like we all have this dazed look on our faces…where we get out of the car with all the things…and clean off all the things…constantly…and try to follow the arrows…and then we all say “screw it, I forgot something three aisles back and I’m NOT following the dang arrows.” I’m happy to say that Sams finally got rid of them…we all basically quit paying attention.

I get overly joyous if I find Clorox wipes…and feel that I’ve hit the jackpot. I actually secretly hide these wipes under other things because I’m scared I will cause a riot and others will try to take them out of my cart…wipes? I said wipes.🤦🏼‍♀️

Not a lot of lipstick wearing going on I have to say…I think we was women are somewhat enjoying less makeup…

The new Phrase for being late…orders not coming in, something is unavailable….Covid. Car won’t start? Covid. Can’t understand math? Covid. Have allergies? Admit it…you go check your temperature every time and say to yourself…Covid…it finally got me.

The beautiful part of this whole thing…is I realize that I am NOT insane. I hear women way they run a business and homeschool and do all the things and they feel like they are going crazy…and can I just say….🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻. Thank you sooooo much! I used to feel like such a loser because I felt like I was losing my mind…and finally….I have people that “get” me. I realize none of you asked for this by choice…but hopefully you now get how hard it is to homeschool…and no this is not normal…even homeschooling gets a break…we call it co op…and we are missing it horribly!!!!!

I think right now I’m more grateful then ever for the distraction of the holidays….I think we will be seeing lots of parents dressing as unicorns…and who could blame us?

Embrace your inner unicorn…or whatever makes you smile right now!

Social media is overwhelming right now. Lately, I’ve become anxious and depressed because of all the negativity…so I have unfriended, unfollowed…and well…it’s something I’ve continued to do daily.

Saturday, as I sat at a campground I looked through one of my social media outlets…and was thankful. Thankful that I had taken the time to take the pictures.

I have adult children…and I have taken pictures of every single event…some big and some small…but pictures to me..are memories. When our memories fail, pictures help us to keep those events in order and how they happened. They are all we have when someone is gone.

My social media outlets are not well known…my followers are a few, the comments and likes even fewer…but I guess I don’t really do it to get thousands of likes…I do it for the people that say I make them smile. The people that say they enjoy my content. I do it, for the memories as well.

We all agree that 2020 has been the worst year…but I bet when you go back and you look at events from this year and memories you made, you cannot say it was a wasted year.

Projects I didn’t want to do but found the time to do, and new creative ways to do things are memories I will always keep from 2020. This year also taught me how quickly life can change..

I know that it’s hard for so many of us to be in the pictures. I have hardly any pictures with my youngest daughter when she was a toddler because I was the one busy taking the pictures. I was too embarrassed to ask someone to take our picture together..:and now I have no pictures of me with her hardly.

I changed that a few years ago. Even though I have gained weight and don’t look as amazing as I once did…I still want to be in the pictures . I want my children to have that picture and actual photo in their hand some day.

I know that many of us put pictures out and then erase them because we feel no one cares about what we do…but I promise you that someone does.

There is someone out there waiting to be influenced by someone like you. No one else can influence them the way you do..because you are the only one that knows how to reach that particular person.

I don’t have social media for all the thousands upon thousands that come through…because if I did…I would have given up long ago.

I take the pictures and share my life for the few that it encourages…but mainly for me. I keep it for me…because as I get discouraged in life…I look back through the pictures of my life. I know the long and twisted and scary road I’ve had to go down…and I’m grateful for every good thing I have . I forget those things…but pictures help me remember…and on days that I just don’t want to…those pictures serve as a saving grace as a reminder for all I have and all I need to be grateful for!

So, here it goes…

My town has Covid, and it’s the highest our hospitalizations have ever been. This comes as no surprise, since we all knew it would spike when school started back up and sports and all of the things.

Anxiety is high…and people are scared, or they are tired and scared…or they are just plain mad. I have found that everyone seems to be all over the place….and I needed some space and quiet.

So we went to our happy place….

I needed to be in a campground surrounded by people. Everyone was distancing…we were all adequately spaced. Everyone stayed within their families.

It had been so long since I had heard a lot of people, I wasn’t even mad at the loud campers or the loud music. I was grateful for laughter, and being around people. Listening to kids sing and laugh and scream and ride bikes…and for a few days…Covid wasn’t so much a thought. It was a nice distraction. I hope that I will always be that way…grateful for people and for normalcy. Grateful for the outdoors and camping…and social distancing done at its finest. I will also say that people did quiet down at the quiet times with no issues whatsoever…even the animals were on good behavior.

One more camping trip before the end of season is here.

I should be sleeping…but in my head a million things are going by. Worries about things at work, worried about if I have to go to jury duty next week. Of all the crap going on right now, you would think we would not have jury duty…but it’s 2020…so no surprise.

Today, was a beautiful and productive day…but it left me with spare time to catch up on things I don’t get to do while I’m at work. While I’m folding laundry or doing MUNDANE tasks I like to listen to certain things on social media…and the overwhelming majority of influencers were talking about women…and the conversation was not complimentary.

It seems in all our spare time…and being home now more than ever…many of us have decided to take that time and use our words for evil.

I’ve seen it a hundred times…even have had some rude comments to me with just my hand full of followers…and I’m amazed at it every time. I’ve seen people ask for advice on if they should hang a simple picture. So we as women decide that we need to tell them that not only is their picture ugly, but they need a new rug, a new light fixture and probably should build a new house.

I’ve seen women bear their souls and then immediately be attacked…they are fat, need to lose weight. Their eyes are too close together…how much money do they make being an influencer? Some of them are told they are bad moms…and I’m just amazed.

Thankfully, I’m not an influencer…because right now I’m not sure I could handle it.

I’ve become that woman…I no longer look very far for friends…unless I grew up with you…I’m not really gonna trust you. I only trust the women I work in the trenches with. You want to know a woman who won’t hurt you or let you down? Look for the ones that are busy serving. Look for the ones who wake up each day ready to fight for others…that’s who you want on your team.

I have no patience for women who come and complain to me about people who are mean to them, that disappoint them and let them down…and then on social media they build up that same person.

I’m 46, and I still am amazed at how we as women are our own worst enemy. We seem to be upset at people who succeed. Women who seem to have it all we say we hate. Women who struggle we seem to delight in their frustrations. We have groups where we actually make fun of people and what they do and how they live? We sit around and have an opinion on every single thing that every woman does. If she’s successful…we hate her. If she’s a mess…we make fun of her. We don’t build up…we tear down. Then we wonder why so many of us need to be on medication.

Social media has been the biggest detriment on relationships. What could be used for good we have now used against us. We value our worth on the opinion of strangers…trust me….I’m guilty too.

We don’t have real relationships…because we are too tired to. We don’t trust anyone. I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t text people that much because I’m afraid how and why it will be used against me. What In the world is that all about?

I think the age group that seems to be the happiest, is the 60ish age group on up. They seem to have real relationships. They don’t spend a lot of time on the social media platforms. They talk to each other at church. They stop at the grocery store and restaurants. They hug each other…compliment each other on outfits and hair. They have coffee and visits at the hair dressers. They miss each other and tell each other so…They care about good books and good food. They have incredible stories…and wise advice on many subjects.

My age group is stressed and have their phones going off over and over again. We are complete slaves to it. Today was my day off. I answered no less than 20 texts and 8 phone calls. I did payroll and schedules and had it all completed before 10 am. I had social media plans for my staff to do for the entire week…and then I had more emails to send…more things to post on social media. Tomorrow I meet with vendors and bookkeeper to help me…and the list goes on and on. Adult children call as soon as the job obligations are done and then I need to check the homework and schooling of the homeschool child. House needs, we need to eat and menu planning…and taking care of my elderly parents….and did I tell you , I might have jury duty😔😔😔.

If your thinking I have a solution, I don’t…I just have a plan for the way I’m gonna live.

First, I’m gonna go outside…and have nature give me the cure all. So far it’s working!

Then I’m gonna keep getting better at my hobbies …

Then, I’m gonna do some things that I enjoy…like decorating and painting….

Then, I’m gonna do some clowning when people ask me….

Then, I’m gonna be the one you can count on. The one that when she says she’s gonna show up…she will. I’m gonna be the one that gives you compliments…because we all need that. When I think you look awesome or did awesome…I’m gonna tell you.

When someone speaks badly of you…I’m gonna nip it in the bud. I’m gonna be the woman…that you know where you stand. The one that isn’t two faced…the one that does what she feels because she knows it is right. The one who speaks truth. The one who seeks justice for those that are treated badly. The one that calls out the liars, the one that seeks truth and what is right. The one who calls out others when they have wronged you. The one who creates boundaries for those that constantly take advantage. The one who is a safe place for you to lay your burdens. I have a few of these women in my life…and I hope you do to. They are out there…you can’t always see their superhero capes…but they have them…and they are real.

Where do you fit? Are you the woman sitting around spewing hate and lies about others? Are you the one that can’t stand to do anything but sit around and gossip? I can’t imagine that your truly happy…today could be your day..to make a change!

Before you all think that I’ve lost my mind…please let me explain.

I have very bad days. Days filled with once again telling my daughter disappointments and things that have been cancelled yet again. I grow weary of hearing how my son is doing at college…and all the things he is missing out on. It totally stinks that we can’t visit my husbands eldest daughter In Philadelphia without being quarantined for fourteen days first. We wonder if we can have her visit for Christmas. What will the holidays be like! And the negative relastic side of me wants to say…it will be different. There won’t be a lot of traveling…and probably alcohol will be heavily involved.

I have enjoyed for the most part, the stores that have hand sanitizer readily available…and if you frequent a store that never seems to have it, even though they sell it…perhaps you should re-consider where you spend your money. If it starts with a “W” and ends with a “t”, please for all small businesses across the country…please stop immediately…they’ve thrived through this nightmare when no one else has.

I have enjoyed the colored dots on the floor that tell people where to stand in the checkout line…that I hope doesn’t go away. I can’t tell you how many times people didn’t know about personal space and were WAY TO CLOSE to me when I was checking out. So much so, that I wanted to ask if they wanted to pay for my purchase!

I do detest the arrows that tell me which way to go. I cannot tell you the times I’ve fantasized about ripping those up and throwing them up in the air like I just don’t care. I’m tired of limits on things…I can’t wait to just go buy Clorox wipes in a four pack…because I can…or canned goods (give me six…not four) I want six!!!

I’m tired of reading a book before I walk in a store…if there was something important I would miss it…because I just can’t read six signs every time I walk in a store…telling me to wear this, don’t do this…your child must be how old to enter with you…and by the way…we don’t do cash anymore…or we only accept cash…and make sure you follow the arrows! It’s no wonder we’ve all decided to curbside everything.

I wore a mask today to church….I sang with the mask on…these are things I never thought I would say in my lifetime. I still cry when I see little kids wearing masks…

I look at my 13 year old, and I finally realiZed something. Our kids are watching how we worship, how we shop…what we complain about and how we treat each other.

At church today, I sang and raised my hands like I always do. I’m grateful that we can still worship. I’m thankful that we can still be in church. We have our masks on because our mayor has a city wide mandate because he’s trying to get the numbers back down. That’s all…no more, no less.

Trips we wanted to take are cancelled…and crying about it isn’t gonna change it. We literally have the entire world in the same boat…so what are we going to do?

Covid has taught me many things about myself….but the most interesting parts are the parts I never saw coming.

My husband and I have very stressful lives…the only way we can relax….is camping and kayaking…and even fishing. A year ago, none of those things even halfway eXcited me.

We are going camping this weekend and then the following week. We are talking about more hiking and more adventures like that. We hope to go to more exciting places once the country opens up again.

I’ve even been working on some soap products to make camping life easier…who even saw that coming?

We all agree that 2020 is a complete disaster….but what great path did it take you down, that you never would have ventured down?

The one thing that we can say about 2020 is that it taught us all to be creative. Creative how we cooked. Creative in how we entertained ourselves. Creative in how we did business and how we adapted

I think we should feel pretty proud of ourselves on how quickly we figured things out…and how we are still figuring things out.

I to want good movies back…I would love to go on the trips that I had planned for this year. I miss traveling, and seeing new cultures. I miss my friends that live on the other side of the world that I was gonna see this spring…and now it may be another year. I miss my son going to college and sitting in classes. I miss my daughter going to swim for the swim team, art classes and field trips. I miss baseball games in person and concerts. I miss the movies (haven’t seen a good movie out yet to go sit with a mask on). I miss just being able to spare of the moment decide to go somewhere and it can be done. You can’t even go camping without making a camp reservations weeks in advance! These are the things I miss…but there are things I don’t want to forget.

I always want to be grateful for all those things that I never was grateful for. That I just always assumed would be there. I wasn’t grateful for Starbucks, because I always assumed it would be there. I wasn’t grateful for my job, because I always thought it would be there. Your never grateful until you realize how quickly it all can be gone.

If you ever have buried a spouse you know this. You always took for granted that that person would be there…because you never imagined they would be gone.

We never worried about toilet paper and flour. Chicken and eggs, oil, and butter…because these things were always ridiculously abundant….until they simply were not…and we all realized just how badly prepared we all were for this pandemic…but then things started working again…and got back on track…but I know that when you see ample supply of toilet paper at the store again (like I do) that you smile to yourself…and feel a little better that maybe just maybe it will be alright.

We will be normal again…we really will… I have quit answering when that will be…but one thing I can plan on…and that’s more time outside…more time for house projects…more time for landscaping that we never had time to do before…and more time for yoga…

What’s something good that Covid brought your way?