Finding the One

I had a list of the perfect mate when I was in college…every man I dated I would compare to that list. My first husband, was every single thing on that list…so I thought.

I grew up a lot, learned a lot about myself…and can truly say that I wasn’t perfect either. God had other plans…and He gave me a second chance at a beautiful life.

In my head, I had an idea of what perfect love looked like…but learned quickly…that isn’t reality.

Your husband should be someone your attracted to yes…someone who makes you blush…but that shouldn’t be his highest quality.

You want someone…who will kill the mouse and not make you see his gross little body. You want someone who will bring you coffee in the morning, because he knows your not a morning person. You want someone who will send you flowers for no reason, except to say he loves you. You want someone who will see your stomach expand to a size that you didn’t think possible, because your carrying his child….and he still says your beautiful…even though you feel like a beached whale. You want someone who can lead a hamster funeral, because your crying just as hard as your little daughter and are not able to find any words of comfort. You want someone, who at a Spiderman movie can cover all three of your kids eyes, because they are all screaming, including you.

He needs to fight for you, he needs to encourage you. He needs to make you feel that you can accomplish anything. He needs to be your cheerleader, and someone that you can just cry on his shoulder. He needs to take your breath away from across the room…and make you feel like your amazing and can do things that you never thought possible. Someone who encourages you to do what your good at, even when everyone else thinks it’s the weirdest thing they ever heard of.

You need someone who knows your secrets and keeps them, someone who you can just voice your concerns and not be judged. Someone who knows you have a horrible cold and look horrible, but he rubs your feet and tells you he loves you.

For my husbands birthday…he’s been known to give me gifts…really really great gifts. He has never missed an anniversary or special holiday…he has spoiled me above measure.

He even surprised me and bought me the car that I was wanting…had it in our garage!

Marriage is work…we fight…we have disagreements. He gets in bad moods and so do I. We miscommunicate…..we disagree….we’ve gone to marriage conselling…we’ve almost thrown in the towel….but I can honestly tell you…there’s no one else I’d rather be with.

He gets me…and I’m complicated 😬. I get him, and he’s complicated.

Marriage is not always pretty…sometimes, you put stuff up that he should have. Sometimes, I don’t put his tools back where they belong, or I forget to get him something he wanted at the grocery store. You name it…there are annoyances on both sides.

Don’t keep score in your marriage, don’t correct each other’s children if there are step children involved (stay out of it). Don’t go and bad mouth your spouse to all your friends, even if he’s being a boob.

Let him know the decisions your making, get his advice and opinion on things that go on in your house (I don’t call my husband on what candle or detergent I use) but things that matter…consult him.

I believe we as women, have turned men into these “stupid creatures” that we feel we have to have to make life go round…but we could really live without them. We put them down, act like they have no brains. We treat them as if hunting or fishing or whatever are ridiculous hobbies. They are not…my husband wants a sailboat…has forever….and this year…I hope to make that happen for him….that’s marriage…constantly trying to build your spouse up…constantly striving to make their life better.

I love my children more than I thought possible…but I love my husband…and he will be the one with me long after my children have flown the nest. Are you strangers with your husband because you have become so consumed in your children’s activities?

Are you two passing ships in the night because your schedules are so vastly different? Why? Change it!

I can say to you…that we are coming up on sixteen years of marriage…and I love him more with each passing year….we are not bored in our marriage..and for that I’m grateful.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Go live and ❤️ your husband, go make it work…it’s hard work….but so worth it!