Lately as I see my children growing older and even some of my staff…I’m reminded of my youth…yes…youth…glorious youth.
I thought back to when I was 23. I’m sure I felt my twenty three year old self was much more mature then it really was. I’m pretty sure that those who worked with me…could tell you the same stories that many of us tell about that age typically.
If I could tell myself a few things I would start with this:
Enjoy being a size two, because after your first child, that will no longer be your size. You will not die from childbirth like all those who have gone before you and told you the horror stories of childbirth. God made drugs…and we should enjoy them when giving birth. There’s nothing wrong in taking them. However, breast feeding is NOT this amazing thing they speak of. It’s horribly painful….not enjoyable for you or baby…and nipples do bleed…and I hated every minute of breastfeeding…and my child and myself were very happy with bottlefeeding, and it doesn’t make you less of a mother because you choose it as well. Sorry about sharing the graphic visual…but I felt I wish I had been told.
The man your gonna marry….it doesn’t matter what everyone you know tells you about him…what does your gut tell you? Listen to that gut! How does he treat his mother? How does he treat his siblings? How does he treat people? Especially people that are mentally or physically weaker then he is. Does he listen to you? Do your ideas matter? Does he have a temper? Remember that he is on his best behavior now. You cannot fix him, you cannot change him. He cannot be your project. In the same breath…he cannot fix you. He cannot build you up enough…he cannot give you enough confidence..:but he can destroy it…little by little.
Enjoy eating at Taco Bell while you can. Enjoy being able to read without squinting…because all of the sudden, before you know it…middle age comes quickly…and your given things like bifocals.
Make good friends. Friends that don’t care what you drive, or where you live….this keeps you humble when you know and remember where you can from.
Always be honest…it’s never worth the lie…no matter what financial or social gains you make…it will make you feel rotten inside…and no amount of money is worth that.
You can’t have a million best friends. Take your circle down a bit. Weed out the friends that constantly steal your joy, are never there for you…and don’t understand that friendship is a two way street.
Don’t be in a hurry to have kids. Kids are fabulous…and I have the best…but they take every single bit of your energy and time. They deserve the best…and once you have them…all these things that you did for you need to disappear…because your a grownup now…these kids didn’t ask to be born…and your the one that has to step up.
Be a good employee, and fellow co worker. Do not be the one that no one can count on. Do not be the one that everyone knows will take advantage of them because your super important.😬🤦🏼♀️
Last but not least…your lifetime mate…
Go into this with a do it or die attitude. Go into it realizing that there will be days that that amazing man that you love and cherish will have days that even his chewing gum will annoy you to new heights you never knew existed. That the towel on the bathroom floor and the cereal bowl he left out…will cause you to fill with an anger you never knew existed. Realize that he will feel the same about you.
Understand that those muscles will eventually turn to flab…your amazing abs will have stretch marks…your neck will start seeing wrinkles and his hair will turn gray.
May I also say that his looks and your looks will fade…but he will still be able to make your heart race in ways that would embarrass your adult children.
My man encourages me. He has seen me throw up…give birth, a broken leg, and almost pass out while our daughter recovered from surgery. He has seen me run races and be all disgusting and sweaty. He has heard me snore (I do not believe it but that’s what he said) 😬 he has clapped for my accomplishments. Praised me when I was able to complete a much desired job…and cheer me on as I try to achieve physical fitness. He has watched me clown and be the most ridiculous characters you can imagine…and still has told me I’m awesome. This ladies, is what you aren’t told from your friends.
The man you want isn’t the one with the best hair and the greatest car…the one that has the best abs and can play every sport. He doesn’t have to be the one with the best grades, the highest GPA…or come from the best family. What matters is his heart.
Does his heart beat only for you…or does he always look around…and eventually make his way back to you? He should be crazy about you and only you. You should not have to convince him.
Someday, you will look out your window and see your husband playing with your kids…and that scene will melt your heart more than any other thing you have seen him do. When he holds your baby girl for the first time. When he takes your sons hand and walks him to safety to the car…when he gets excited about your babies first steps…when he sings happy birthday. When he sits down and watches football with your son and reads to them at night. That’s the man you want…the man that’s there for the whole ride…not just the beginning…but the whole ride.
So, my dear 23 year old self…go for what your gut is telling you…and ignore all the other signs…remember to look at the whole picture…not just a snippet…but the entire picture.
It will all fall into place…and that stomach of yours??? Enjoy it…take pics of it…it didn’t last long 😬😬😬
The Reluctant Red Nose 