At the beginning of the year I was soo dedicated to yoga…eating better. I was going to dig deeper into projects for our homeschooling. I was going to say no more…and really dive into the present. I was gonna say yes to clowning for charities in the summer all the time…but more cautious during the school year. I wanted to devote all my attention to my last child. I wanted to be a better boss, wife, homeschool Mom and clown.
January and February had challenges -‘a few work trips but March was to be the month that changed it all. It was going to be the month of bucket lists finally checked off…and dreams finally coming true.
Instead, March became the month of nightmares and such…and worries about…everything. April became the month of revamping your business, and getting every single home project done you’ve ever wanted to do…and May became the month of anger because we were all “over it”.
Now as we head into June…and life is slowly going back to somewhat normal, I’m looking at so many things left undone.
As a business owner I didn’t have weeks on end of Netflix binging. We had to figure out how to sell our product online. Having a luxury product and selling online is difficult and people are unwilling to do so for large ticket items. I had to keep my readers and customers excited about product and I would sit by my safe at my store pulling out piece after piece trying to get a good overview….it was hard. Then, May 4th came and we were able to open and it has been fabulous. Our community and customers have been fabulous…but I still look around at projects undone…and yoga left by the wayside.
I guess what this has proved to me is that I’m a time waster. I promise, it’s not something I’m happy to admit. I got all the projects done that I wanted to get done….but the kitchen ceiling…still sits with unmatched paint colors. I still have trim that needs to be painted…and weeds that still need to be pulled.
The worst project I have left undone, is now, myself…yoga is done with great irregularity…and getting on the elliptical is like a dream. I wanted to learn juggling but I’m too scared to start. I wanted to learn how to stay in character mode as a clown…but I continue to struggle and didn’t pick up one book or look over my class notes at all. Why is it that we put ourselves on the back burner?!???.
The Reluctant Red Nose 
Don’t be hard on yourself. I’m quite convinced that part of getting our heads around these mammoth changes in our circumstances required us to be Time Wasters.
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