This week has been busy as we have hit some estate sales and thrift store finds as I’m trying to get my booth ready for the holidays and before we go out of the country.
I still keep pinching myself…..I do not believe it is real until we get there!
I was able to play in church this past weekend. It was soo good. It had been two years exactly since I have played and my fingers felt good touching the keyboard once again!
Im headed to the pumpkin patch this Thursday to get pumpkins and Milo. I won’t be able to buy any mums because they will be dead when I get home. I have fake ones right now and they will have to do.
My front porch is looking good I think!
We went to see Ellie this past weekend she is doing well and we are grateful!
Right now thrifting and my booth are giving me life and planning this trip.
Mira keeps me smiling….
I started some apple butter this week….my Moms recipe and that just about did me in.
There is such an odd feeling in learning reality. I strongly feel that we are not able to accept the finality of death all at once. I believe these little “moments” are the “healing” that takes place as we grieve our loved ones. I am still not over my Dad’s death and I don’t even think I have begun to feel the enormity of my Mothers.
I am completely and totally alone. The house I could run to when trouble came no longer exists…I can no longer knock on that door…I can no longer enter. I can hear the bullfrogs at night at the pond while I tried to fall asleep…troubled by whatever teenage angst wrecked my heart. I can smell the fresh air…I can hear the neighbors….we knew everyone’s name…and I wish I would have known at the time how precious those moments were.
The smell of coffee every morning and the perk of the coffee pot…right on time…every morning. The hard knock on the door as my Dad would wake me up (because I asked him to make sure I was up) and I would give anything to have him knock on my door again. I would give anything to have my Mother yell my name….
I am alone….but now I must forge ahead without them….raise my children and be grateful that I have the memories, the moments, the smells….but coffee and bullfrogs in the country air…will always make me smile….and apple butter will make me cry…for awhile…
Until that one glorious day!
