The Reluctant Red Nose

 

Sunday found me sour….I’m not sure if your familiar with that term or not…but basically it means that you need to have some chocolate and be thrown into a room all by yourself.

It all started by a big Ford truck that almost ran over me on my way to church….then some very disappointing and sad news during church….and I just was…undone.  Later in the day, we were with loved ones who were again…negative…and that made me…just want to curl up on my couch and take the worlds longest nap….so instead…I took a pretty long nap….and then my husband suggested this….

 

Something about being around nature….watching the amazing phenomenon of the birds coming in for spring…spring….renew…made new…alive…restored.

Spring brings allergies, and bugs…but it brings green grass, clean cars, and everyone able to walk outside. It brings yard work and gardens, and warm nights…it brings new life…and promises of new beginnings…

This year has been and will be a difficult year for so many….but all those birds and ducks and beautiful sunset…and somehow…my soul just seemed to find some rest….some peace.  Even though I’m aware of so many things that are wrong…how many people disappoint, how much mean can be done by other humans…but I remembered…that I am not without disappointments for many.  I know I have said mean things, done things I’m not proud of…and continue to disappoint.

The sun setting….the birds singing….and I felt peace…sometimes…you just need to turn off all the other noise…to really hear the important message.

This weekend….I’m back at doing things that I’ve put off for six months….I’ve gotten lazy…made excuses…wanted to take time to lick my own wounds…had nothing else to give…needed a rest…but I’m back. My heart is still hurt…its still learning to trust again…but in the meantime…there are others who need me…they need to laugh….see someone be silly….and forget for a moment….the ugly of life….just like the sunset…the birds…and the quiet of nature did for me yesterday.

 

Lately as I see my children growing older and even some of my staff…I’m reminded of my youth…yes…youth…glorious youth.

I thought back to when I was 23. I’m sure I felt my twenty three year old self was much more mature then it really was. I’m pretty sure that those who worked with me…could tell you the same stories that many of us tell about that age typically.

If I could tell myself a few things I would start with this:

Enjoy being a size two, because after your first child, that will no longer be your size. You will not die from childbirth like all those who have gone before you and told you the horror stories of childbirth. God made drugs…and we should enjoy them when giving birth. There’s nothing wrong in taking them. However, breast feeding is NOT this amazing thing they speak of. It’s horribly painful….not enjoyable for you or baby…and nipples do bleed…and I hated every minute of breastfeeding…and my child and myself were very happy with bottlefeeding, and it doesn’t make you less of a mother because you choose it as well. Sorry about sharing the graphic visual…but I felt I wish I had been told.

The man your gonna marry….it doesn’t matter what everyone you know tells you about him…what does your gut tell you? Listen to that gut! How does he treat his mother? How does he treat his siblings? How does he treat people? Especially people that are mentally or physically weaker then he is. Does he listen to you? Do your ideas matter? Does he have a temper? Remember that he is on his best behavior now. You cannot fix him, you cannot change him. He cannot be your project. In the same breath…he cannot fix you. He cannot build you up enough…he cannot give you enough confidence..:but he can destroy it…little by little.

Enjoy eating at Taco Bell while you can. Enjoy being able to read without squinting…because all of the sudden, before you know it…middle age comes quickly…and your given things like bifocals.

Make good friends. Friends that don’t care what you drive, or where you live….this keeps you humble when you know and remember where you can from.

Always be honest…it’s never worth the lie…no matter what financial or social gains you make…it will make you feel rotten inside…and no amount of money is worth that.

You can’t have a million best friends. Take your circle down a bit. Weed out the friends that constantly steal your joy, are never there for you…and don’t understand that friendship is a two way street.

Don’t be in a hurry to have kids. Kids are fabulous…and I have the best…but they take every single bit of your energy and time. They deserve the best…and once you have them…all these things that you did for you need to disappear…because your a grownup now…these kids didn’t ask to be born…and your the one that has to step up.

Be a good employee, and fellow co worker. Do not be the one that no one can count on. Do not be the one that everyone knows will take advantage of them because your super important.😬🤦🏼‍♀️

Last but not least…your lifetime mate…

Go into this with a do it or die attitude. Go into it realizing that there will be days that that amazing man that you love and cherish will have days that even his chewing gum will annoy you to new heights you never knew existed. That the towel on the bathroom floor and the cereal bowl he left out…will cause you to fill with an anger you never knew existed. Realize that he will feel the same about you.

Understand that those muscles will eventually turn to flab…your amazing abs will have stretch marks…your neck will start seeing wrinkles and his hair will turn gray.

May I also say that his looks and your looks will fade…but he will still be able to make your heart race in ways that would embarrass your adult children.

My man encourages me. He has seen me throw up…give birth, a broken leg, and almost pass out while our daughter recovered from surgery. He has seen me run races and be all disgusting and sweaty. He has heard me snore (I do not believe it but that’s what he said) 😬 he has clapped for my accomplishments. Praised me when I was able to complete a much desired job…and cheer me on as I try to achieve physical fitness. He has watched me clown and be the most ridiculous characters you can imagine…and still has told me I’m awesome. This ladies, is what you aren’t told from your friends.

The man you want isn’t the one with the best hair and the greatest car…the one that has the best abs and can play every sport. He doesn’t have to be the one with the best grades, the highest GPA…or come from the best family. What matters is his heart.

Does his heart beat only for you…or does he always look around…and eventually make his way back to you? He should be crazy about you and only you. You should not have to convince him.

Someday, you will look out your window and see your husband playing with your kids…and that scene will melt your heart more than any other thing you have seen him do. When he holds your baby girl for the first time. When he takes your sons hand and walks him to safety to the car…when he gets excited about your babies first steps…when he sings happy birthday. When he sits down and watches football with your son and reads to them at night. That’s the man you want…the man that’s there for the whole ride…not just the beginning…but the whole ride.

So, my dear 23 year old self…go for what your gut is telling you…and ignore all the other signs…remember to look at the whole picture…not just a snippet…but the entire picture.

It will all fall into place…and that stomach of yours??? Enjoy it…take pics of it…it didn’t last long 😬😬😬

Many of you that have followed my blog know my background and how I was raised. As an adult I have come to some good and some bad conclusions.

I was raised in a legalistic fundamental church. I was taught that women are smart, should be educated and revered. We were taught that raising children and being married was highly encouraged…but I remember many single women and don’t remember anything being said negatively about being single.

I remember not being able to swim with the boys. I could not show my knees or my shoulders. Dress checks were a normal way of life, even my wedding dress was put through “dress check”. This was normal…none of this was scary…this was what was expected.

On school trips boys were on one bus, girls on the other…especially overnight trips. Those that were dating were allowed to sit the front half of the bus during daylight hours…I wasn’t dating so this did not affect me.

There was a tight rein on music. Steve Green was considered unholy and we were told not to listen to it. Any Grant was of the devil. During chapel they would even say that certain tempos could cause heart attacks…🤦🏼‍♀️ seriously, not made up…that is a true statement.

During school I was angry, mean and suffered from depression. I was told that I needed to confess my sins and those feelings would go away. As a result, I had an eating disorder which took me years to gain control of.

I was accused of being with boys (I didn’t have a boyfriend). I was accused of bringing magazines to school that were not mine. I was given “fake” friends to keep an eye on me…..and to this day…if I see a man in a short sleeve dress shirt carrying a Bible I have a panic attack. I’m serious, my husband will vouch for me.

The people that I just described, are NOT bad people. They are actually good people who misinterpreted scripture horribly. They thought they were doing the right thing….but they were as far from what God wants us to be as you can possibly be…and for that I feel sorry for them.

So many people want to put “Christ followers” in one category…the truth is you can’t. Because we are all human, we make human errors.

Anytime there is a crisis in the world where they need help with food and water…who answers the call? The church…the church does. Orphanages, homeless shelters, disaster relief…most of these are either completely headed or greatly supported by churches.

Cleaning up of the neighborhoods in our town…is usually done by the churches. Feeding the children in our town, done by the most precious saint you’ve ever met. Getting the homeless off the street and getting into the workforce? Done by a fabulous Christian organization in our town. Helping the fight against sex trafficking? Again, done by amazing Christian people.

There are always going to be extremists…and they have caused lots of damage. The way I used to view myself was NOT how God viewed me. He is not waiting in heaven to pounce on me when I do something wrong. Those with diseases or handicapped are not that way because God is judging them. Those that are extremely successful doesn’t mean that God is showing them special favor.

It has taken me years and years and probably more years to fully understand the love that God has for me.

Sunday at our evangelical church…with our praise leader with tattoos and torn jeans and his arms lifted to heaven….my husband playing electric guitar…the drums beating, and all hands around me lifted (including mine) and I closed my eyes…grateful for the good, the bad…and all the amazing opportunities that He has given me. The dark valleys, the great mountaintops, the lonely places….that’s where He is…not the dress codes, the rules, the ridiculous rules.

Go live how Christ has asked you to live..holy and morally….kind and forgiving…honestly and carefully….exalting others before ourselves.

Today, I felt it…that little bit of panic that starts to come when I start planning the next several months adventures.

Like many of you, I have fabulous ideas of what our summer should hold…but the pocketbook and the schedule will soon collide…and then prioritizing the schedules…and what we want to do.

My daughter loves the arts, and animals and swimming….and we just….can’t…do…all the things.

I refuse to be the parent that is living in her car, eating fast food and counting down the days for all the adventures to be over. I feel that that creates tension, tears, and whining (and that’s just me…Much less my child).

My daughter has told me that she wants to do drama, swim team, horse lessons and camp, and art camp….and this Momma knows…not all those things can possibly happen.

I’m grateful to live in a town where we have so many amazing opportunities…..but this is when I feel we completely lose it as parents.

I’m not telling you what I will choose…because it will be a discussion I will have with my daughter my husband and myself…budget and time are the most important items here…but this is when I feel extreme pressure….and not really from anyone but myself.

With my son, I would always feel that I chose the wrong thing…that if I chose wrong I would stunt his growth in a sport and he would lose all the opportunities in the world!!

But ya know what? He didn’t play soccer and he is still in college. He played basketball for a few years and he’s still surviving…and track didn’t work out due to an injury…but still…he’s able to function.

Right now, I can feel the panic settling in…my chest is tightening…as I figure out what to do, and how will they all get done…but…I will continue to push down the crazy…and embrace what makes our lives full and happy. Are we able to contribute to society? Is every activity we are involved in making an impact in our lives for good…or are they just noise? Is the sports or drama, or art I’m giving her a chance at improving going to increase her portfolio, her experiences with what she wants to do in life? Did we leave time for her to enjoy youth? Or did we just fill it up with so much noise we can’t hear anything else?

That’s the questions I ask myself as I fill her calendar and mine.

I don’t want to leave this earth someday…without ever touching the lives of others…because I was too busy to do so…but I also don’t want to fill her time with things that didn’t fulfill her.As I look back at my own childhood…I hated piano…until I was really good at it. Then it gave me confidence when other things I did poorly were lacking. I enjoyed choir and drama…and writing…and excelled in our school newspaper.

The best part of my childhood and teen years…were the times spent with friends…and parties…and hanging out…it wasn’t all the functions we attended…and trust me…there were plenty of those.

I am not telling ANYONE how to live their lives…I just know…I don’t feel like raising my last child to be exhausted and begging for the days when we can stay home…childhood goes quickly anyway…let’s take it a little slower.

Being a stepmom to two adult women and a mom to an adult son and a pre- teen daughter, gives you a few badges and a lot of wisdom. Well, I think I’m wise…but perhaps because I also feel like I’ve been in battle 😬.

My fourth child was born perfect…she was the absolute dream of what you pray for when you have a daughter. She had beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous curly hair…and there was no one sweeter nor cuter. She was adored by her siblings…and everything about her life was pretty fabulous.

As a baby I knew there were some issues with speech, but I could not get the doctors to listen to me…finally at 18 months I switched doctors, went to one that would listen to me and she got tubes in her ears…because we dealt with constant ear infections. During that time she would have severe “asthma like” episodes that would flare up because of a severe corn allergy…which was never recognized by the medical community. This was when I sought more homeopathic methods. We completely cleaned up our diets…made everything from scratch. I started my soap business, I changed the way I clean…absolutely every single thing. Finally at age five she had her tonsils and adenoids removed and the doctors were amazed at how big they were and said how they should have come out sooner. 🤦🏼‍♀️

We had to seek a speech therapist because she had delayed speech. I had to hold her back a year because I knew she would struggle to keep up until she could read.

We were in speech therapy for two years. We circled emergency rooms many a night trying to get our daughter to be able to breathe clearly. I fought with doctors over and over again that she was indeed allergic to corn and anything with corn in it. I had some doctors who listened and some that didn’t. Finally, at age nine it all just went away….and we haven’t looked back since.

During that time, when she had tubes in her ears and we would go to the pool she had to wear a special headband so that it wouldn’t damage the tubes in her ears. I was grateful to the new products that had been introduced so that she could swim like the other kids…what I wasn’t used to was the parents. People who at first would keep their kids away from my sweet baby in her princess swimsuit with a band around her head. Others would just flat out ask what it was…Then I would say she has tubes in ears and they would act soo relieved. For the first time ever, I had a small idea what those with handicapped children went through and it made me furious.

Any activities we would go to she could not participate at for parties, because it was soo hard to explain to her that she couldn’t eat the food that others had. We didn’t go to parades, or parties…because it would always involve sickness that would then blow into an attack and then we were out of activities for at least two weeks. The hardest part was how lonely it was…how that my son missed out on things too…but thankfully he had friends who would just let him tag along.

Ellie was invited to things but my friends were soo terrified that they would give her something wrong and I felt terrible for their anxiety. I just started bringing her own food to things.

Please hear me…I am not comparing food allergies to physical disabilities or mental disabilities and saying they are the same…I am not at all saying I understand how hard that is.

I am just saying that I absolutely have a teeny tiny understanding of what it’s like to have a kid that is different.

My Ellie does not have food allergies anymore…but she walks to the beat of her own drum. She’s louder than the other kids…and sometimes she doesn’t fit in. She’s sensitive, she loves animals, she’s smart…she’s funny and she’s very talented with art.

She loves to swim, hates sports with balls…and loves music.

If she wasn’t my fourth child, I probably would have tried to push her into the mold of every normal young girl…because I would want her to fit in. As I listen to her giggling with her friends at the kitchen table…I can honestly say…I no longer care.

You know why?

I don’t fit in….and I never will. I never did…and instead of focusing on how all our children should fit in this special mold…we should embrace their differences.

If you asked me about my least favorite color…it would be…beige. You know why? It doesn’t stand out…it just exists.

I don’t ever want to be like the color beige…I don’t want my kids to be like the color beige. All of us contribute to this world in a range of color…and I’m grateful for all the colors…even my favorite color which is robin egg blue.

So, in a world of beige…be a great color…find your favorite…dare to be different, dare to be who God made you to be…and enjoy all the variety that people bring to this world!

I am in a new phase of life…one I didn’t see coming.

After my birthday this year, I needed glasses…and not only glasses…but bifocals of all things…things started appearing on my neck that I’ve never seen…things aches that have never ached…and a surge of worry went through me…have I encountered middle age?

My last baby is twelve…..no more cute Valentines Day boxes. No more Childrens Christmas Programs. No more excitement when I decorate for the holidays…just an exclamation of how it looks pretty..:and then back to regularly scheduled programming. No more excitement over crafts…no more big bows in hair and matching accessories.

When we go on field trips together I walk alone…as she is with her “besties”. This is new territory for me…as before with her older siblings, I always had a baby or a toddler with me…now that that baby is no longer a toddler….I walk alone. No more children’s clothes…I actually cried when I cancelled my Children’s Place card….for the first time in twenty years I no longer far would be shopping there. It came to fast…and yet..:not fast enough…it left me confused…and feeling slightly annoyed.

We are on our very last pre- teen…and because this is our fourth one, I can definitely say…I’m not ready. I’m not ready for drama, tears, clothing struggles…and all the frustration the teen years bring..:but I will say…I’m hoping that my scars from the other three will hold out as badges of honor for the last and final one coming up the ranks.

Things I wish I would have done with the other three.

1. Don’t sweat the small stuff…find a cleaning schedule and an acceptable way of their room that you both can live with. There should be no mold growing on dishes…and I’m pretty big on making the bed…but all three adult children…still have issues with doing so…my nagging didn’t help them ☹️

2. It’s just hair, cut it, color it, grow it out, don’t grow it out…just needs to be clean…that’s all that matters.

3. Phones- the fourth child won’t have one until she’s driving…we’ve made the mistakes…moving on.

4. Not every party that ends up being at our house must be a theme that’s organized and planned to the nines….sometimes, just let them be.

5. They don’t have to be in every sport known to man to be successful people. Find a sport they love and let them excel.

6. Don’t let them have overwhelming schedules. They need time to breathe, read a book. Take a nap…they can’t do that if they are constantly going from One activity to another.

6. Know their friends…..have these friends over. Have chips and drinks and food they like…let your hoUse be the house they come to.

7. Talk to your child about what goals they have. What they want to do with their life…and help them write goals to Achieve that.

8 hire someone to show them how to drive😬😬 I kid, I kid (sorta)

9. Tell your child you love them constantly….and encourage them when they do good things.

10. Take them with you when you serve people in your community…let them meet people different than themselves…let them appreciate all cultures.

Adult children and pre-teens does not a calm life create. However, I do have to sleep…and the only thing that helps is realizing that no matter what…if they are in Gods hands, there is no safer place for them. I pray for good friends, safety…and try to communicate with them.

If they call me and it’s inconvenient…then it just has to be inconvenient…because you never know when you may or may not get another opportunity.

On field trips, I tell her she can hang out with her “besties” for a little bit…and then she and her “besties” need to come hang out with me….because we homeschool…I’m not showing up at field trips because I couldn’t think of anything else to do.

Last but not least, learn from your mistakes. Ask for forgiveness and try to learn from them. I have made huge mistakes…will probably make more…but in the end…we are all just doing our best…and trying to figure it out as we go along. Our children will figure it out as well someday…..they may or may not need a therapist 😬 but they will figure it out!

Enjoy the ride my friend…wow it’s a short one!

Every year my favorite business trip we go on…is our trip to Tucson…especially since I became the insane “plant lady”

I also can’t get over these…..

I’m sure they all think I’m insane because I just stare at them…

This trip was a bit different …we were in a hotel…that was frankly…the worst one we have stayed at in quite some time…it really was a shame. However, we will NEVER stay there again…not fun…seriously…outdated…and not very clean…upon arrival back home I felt the urge to wash every single thing whether I had worn it or not….the show itself was glorious and busy and exhausting as always…but let’s start with my favorite thing about the show….food trucks ❤️😊😘

For the most part the food in Tucson is amazing…these food trucks are no exception! People are also soooo friendly in Tucson!

I can’t tell you the enormity of the show…everyday we get there when the show opens and stay until it closes. We buy stock for our store for the year…we have great relations with our vendors. This particular show is not open to the public. You must be in our trade to attend. We know where the gems come from and the treatments…and we hand select our stones…it’s exhausting…but I love how much I learn each year…this year I tackled rubies…and was able to catch a few things my husband didn’t see…go me!!!!

Marks eldest daughter was able to join us for the last two days and that was soo great having her young eyes to help us! That is the biggest star sapphire I have ever seen. Over 200 cts 😳😱😱😱

On our last day we went to an amazing place where we were able to have fried bread and enjoy the amazing beauty and architecture of this beautiful church.

It was a wonderful experience!

Our trip home took longer than we expected…as we missed our connecting flight home due to our plane was late due to a mechanical failure…we spent the night on the airlines dime and had a nice dinner in Salt Lake City. Very friendly and very beautiful!

Our luggage liked it aa well. And they stayed an extra day….but finally showed up around 2 pm this afternoon.

All clothes are washed and dried and put away….I’m on Tucson time…and I have to open in the morning 🤦🏼‍♀️

All schoolwork is checked and graded. All hours are written..:payroll is done and bills are paid as well as grocery shopping…now to get ready for Valentines Day!

Lessons learned? Never put your makeup in your suitcase. Never pack your favorite toothbrush. Always bring your warmest fuzzy sweatshirt (even to the desert)…I froze for two days. Always Bring more than two pairs of shoes….always pack Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer. Last but not least…be kind to your fellow man….don’t yell at airline people….be kind…be courteous….we are all just trying to make a living…don’t be the person that they talk about when they get home as the worst person of the day. Thank your hairdresser, every SINGLE day from people at the KC airport, Tucson airport and show. Where we ate lunch…dinner…and back to Salt Lake City….people always complimented my hair….my husband even started laughing about it…it was constant…but you know what? It was awesome! Tell your fellow man when you like their hair or clothes…they will feel like a million bucks!

Rest easy! Travel safely! Thanks for all the love for my KC Chiefs from all over the country while traveling (even a couple from California 😳) we as Kansas Citians so appreciate it….and yes. I forgive you Salt Lake City airport young man….who asked us if we were flying to Kansas ☹️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ I appreciate you even😬

Today was the first day that I was able to talk to my daughter about the half time show.

Before everyone starts getting offended…let me say this. There is not ONE woman (besides Tina Turner who had amazing legs 😱) that would not wish to be able to move and dance and be in incredible shape like the two women that danced last night. They were the same age and older than I…and they put me to shame in exercise and beauty and talent. There is NOT one person that can’t sit there and say WOW about that.

However, I sat there in confusion. I am a woman…and I hear we as women protest that we don’t want to be seen as objects…but yet…I believe that is what was displayed…I know there are many that disagree…but I would say there are many that agree with me. That being said…we should support women…and each other. That statement is very true….we should. However, I’m not sure a pole and clothing that made most men in the room I was in uncomfortable, is what I would call “family friendly” entertainment for a football game. I don’t really care that they spoke in a foreign language…that they brought other cultures to the table…I’m perfectly fine with that…but when I think of strong women…..I don’t see the image that was put in front of me.

I see a woman that left an abusive relationship and her beautiful home and brand new nursery with her nine month old to start a better life for her baby boy.

I see a woman who endured her unfaithful husbands funeral and paid for it while the women there he had an affair with came through the line like they had a right to be there.

I see a woman who took the roses off her husbands grave and threw them in the ditch that were left on the tombstone she paid for…by women who played a part in destroying her marriage.

I see a woman who worked three jobs so she could pay all her bills and debts and take care of her son.

I see a woman who didn’t believe the mean lies people told about her.

I see a woman who kept going when everyone else told her to quit…it was too hard.

I see a woman who admits her mistakes and tries to be a better person. She does things that are uncomfortable because she knows it was what she was born to do. She is the one where the buck stops…and she fixes it. She is the one…without applause…no trophies….just the fight within her to NOT give up.

We see these strong women as they fight cancer. They fight infertility. They deal with depression. They care for special needs children. They care for spouses who are ill. They have children who they have lost, some they have buried…others they struggle with addiction. They fight abuse and find the strength to leave it. They go without so their babies can have more. They go without sleep and food, they work when they are sick…they care for their children through exhaustion. They run marathons and get degrees…they save lives….and come up with cures. They beautify homes and make everything in the world beautiful. They make memories and take pictures…they love unconditionally and fight tirelessly….those are the strong women…and that is what I tell my daughter….she can reach for the stars…she can create her destiny…but it is her character, her brains, her spirit, her heart…that I’m interested in…

 

I hear lots of women defending the display that was forced upon us.  I’ve heard your arguments.  I have even heard women say that all of us are hypocrites because our daughters wear clothes like that at their dance recitals. May I just say….not ONE dance recital did my daughter dance in where there were stripper poles.  Not ONE dance recital did she display her crotch for the whole world to see…nor was she taught by her teachers to move her body in the way that was being displayed….perhaps other studios do that…but not one that I’ve ever attended.  I don’t wear bikinis….if you do that’s your business…I don’t…because I’ve had kids…and even when I did look good in them I didn’t wear them because I felt like I was walking around in my bra and underwear.  That’s just me…not judging anyone.  My daughter also feels uncomfortable and she wears a one piece.  She also wears a one pice on her swim team as well.  I also am tired of people with the argument of that I did’nt have to watch it….here’s the thing….My Chiefs….well we are from MISSOURI, not KANSAS and a lot of my extended family was watching it with me….because we haven’t been in the Super Bowl….in my ENTIRE life….so yes, we were watching it…and then a lot of us got snacks…and more of us just sat there with our mouths wide open trying to understand WHY this was being shown. Since it was my first time watching the Super Bowl in its entirety….I wasn’t sure what to expect…but hopefully never that again….  So, I ask that those of you telling me to get over it…will just remember that I’m not going to…I will always stand up for my daughter and myself as a woman…and that display was not helpful to women…

Go make the world a better place…

Go for your biggest dream…and work hard to achieve it.

We were beyond excited….I admit….during the game last night I gave myself a little pep talk like I normally do…it went like this:

Well, I’m really proud of them being in the Super Bowl….like we really really did it…we got here! So, really it’s ok…and there has to be a loser every time…and perhaps it will be next year will be our year?!”

Then, it’s like all the things in the universe worked in our favor…to the point that Joe Buck was even completely speechless…which in my humble opinion…is actually best. 😬

I was with my family and extended family and we were not sitting…We were standing…we were jumping…we were screaming….and we were shocked. This was new territory for us. Fireworks were going off…people were yelling…we were high fiving…we were practically crying.

I have waited for that moment for 45 years.

Perhaps you don’t know what it’s like to wear a jersey for your hometown baseball and football team and get laughed at…but we do. Perhaps you don’t know what it’s like to get excited. Almost make it…and then lose….every year.

My son almost quit being a fan…but I told him. You remain loyal…always loyal….because someday…it will be our turn…and boy did it feel good..

My son is now 20….but he’s been a fan since we showed him his first football game.

Will it change our lives that we won the Super Bowl ? Absolutely not….

But for all of us in KC (born and bred right here) and the rest of us surrounding they have supported this team when it wasn’t cool…it’s nice to have some love from others. For people to know where MO even is 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️. For people to unite together.

No one care who you voted for, where you go to church, if you carry a gun, what your occupation is…only if you are a Chiefs fan…and I think this dreary weather KC loving woman…and this entire city…just needed a bit of good news…and it’s so nice that it doesn’t matter where your from…just who are you rooting for…and we will always root for home…

I have a new schedule…and I rather like it. What became out of necessity, is turning out to be a whole lot better than I ever dreamed.

This past year I have dwelt a lot on the negative…but I haven’t spent much time on the positive. As a result, I’m sure that there have been a few of you who have just kind of thrown the towel in…and I can’t blame you.

I once followed a couple of blogs where people were going through an extreme personal struggle. I respected where they were in their life and the process that they were taking. What they were doing was real and raw and painful…and if there was anyone going through those huge emotional struggles, I’m sure that raw emotion was understood and appreciated. I personally, was turned off of it…because it was NOT what I needed at that time in my life.

I think so many times, so many of us can be negative about what other trials someone is going through. We can call them “whiny” or “dramatic” because we personally are not where they are at that moment. I personally am trying to give a bit more grace as I grow older to people…and hope that you will give me some as well.

As many of us have made changes in our lives…most of us have done so because it is something that we have been forced to do. Most of us are stubborn…and we don’t like change..and by most of us…I’m totally raising my hands. I know I needed to eat better and exercise and drink more water…but it wasn’t until my blood tests came back and a doctor telling me I’m gonna be on meds for my cholesterol if I don’t get it under control…which forced me to drink the water…and started my addiction for avocados. Still trying to get on the yoga and elliptical bus…slowly but surely.

When we had an employee who was not doing what they needed to do…and I had to step in and do payroll and schedules and pay bills..I will tell you…it was not with leaps of joy…but now…now it’s not so bad..and I enjoy it. I enjoy starting very early at our store and still being able to head home in late morning and come home to do homeschooling with my daughter.

I said no to lots of things this year…and in turn was able to say yes to lots more!

Sometimes we need a few months of recovery to recharge…and then the ideas just start flowing.

Instead of elaborate trips last summer we tried our hand at camping. We tried a new swim team, we tried learning how to ride horses and really succeeding this year. More sleepovers with friends for my girl. More camp fires and marshmallows. More children’s camps closer to home. More library field trips, more homemade ice cream movie nights. More online art classes…more repurposing everything…less out to eat…more experimenting with things at home we liked…and we realized…we didn’t really miss out on a thing.

We have some fun things packed into this year…new experiences….new camping adventures…new out of comfort zones. Gonna cross a bunch of things off my bucket lists…but in that process…I’m not going to forget the changes made..and I’m not going to be sad about them.

When you see a friend who writes things on her social media that irritate you, or you think are negative…instead of saying to her how negative she is…why don’t we just accept them where they are? Not all of us like to say what specifically is going on in our lives….we just don’t. Instead, if need be…just take a moment…and instead of telling them how they need to change…say a prayer for them…send them a note..take them a meal, a coffee….a plant.

Social media can be toxic…and it can be awesome. Everyone thinks it’s this real part of life…but it isn’t. The pictures I take of my house and life and put on here on social media is the best of the best…it’s not the everyday. It’s not what the house looks like when I’ve returned home from work or had people over for a football game…I don’t show you my dirty laundry…or unmade bed. I don’t show you my pjs in the bathroom…or the fact that I have a crockpot in the sink with burnt smokies in it…it just doesn’t.

However, when people share things that you might think are harsh or they should approach differently…don’t assume you know the whole story.

So many times we assume we know all…and we pass down our judgement on people because in all our wisdom. We know best..when we don’t know the whole story…nor do we understand.

So, yes. I will try to be more positive…as we go though things…but life isn’t easy…and my shoulders are only so big…and burdens are easier to carry when you share them.

Have a blessed day…and no matter what lane of life your in right now…let’s all just help get each other home…this life isn’t easy…and I know I sure do need help.

Here’s to new adventures…..and happier days!