The Reluctant Red Nose

I think we can all agree that 2020 was full of promise….but instead became a gift we opened that we all wish desperately we could return.

We learned creativity. We learned how to cook endlessly, we learned how to navigate unforeseen waters.

Those that owned businesses, learned how to go online and use technology to basically “stay alive.” Those that could work from home did so with creativity as well. We were able to reopen businesses with many of us losing employees and having to implement new challenges that no one had ever experienced.

School for us was the same but without field trips, co-ops, libraries, music lessons in person, and absolutely no friends…so it basically was school with not much fun. Summer in our town consists of no swim team, no art camp, and no museums. We are trying to go camping…and hope to do so soon.

Volunteering was over…no creative outlets for me…and the toll from this has been huge…and I’m still suffering for it and not an end in sight.

What I didn’t understand from this from the beginning, is that I’m an introvert but even though that’s true…I still need to get out. I volunteer off and on at about six places in our community….and I have a huge hole in my heart that I haven’t been able to volunteer at any of these places. I can’t even imagine how difficult this has been for so many of them.

Today we were able to get out and go places we haven’t been for a long time. Eat in a real restaurant…and walk around. It felt amazing…I hope I never take for granted just the ordinary.

I miss an ordinary Saturday where I can see people smile at me…or frown…I think right now I would actually take a frown. I’ve had to learn to read people’s eyes…and that has been a real lesson…but boy…those eyes tell a lot. I wish I could shake my customers hands when they come to me for help…or hug them when they show me something special and they have just lost a loved one.

I’m sad for people that live alone…that haven’t had anyone to talk to…be patient when they see you…listen to their stories…they have a lot to say…and you might be the only one they get to talk to today.

I’m sad for the people I visited in the nursing home….I sure did need their smiles to help me through. I miss the faces at UCP…I miss the kids from Youth Alliance. I miss all the programs that were able to raise funds for those kids in need…all of that has stopped right now.

I miss being able to travel freely across our great land…much less not being able to use my passport. I miss the roar of a crowd during a baseball game and we get a homerun! I miss going to the movies…no one does popcorn like they do.

I’m sorry I didn’t check on my friends enough. Didn’t ask how you were all doing. I was too busy licking my own wounds to think about others. I was overwhelmed with not sure about the certainty of my business, my staff…and overwhelmed with our “new schedule.”

I think that at this point we can only look back on lessons learned and see what things we can try to do for the future. I certainly hope that I have learned to never take anything for granted again. That life can change in an instant.

I hope that I will never grumble at going to work. Going to volunteer. Or taking my child somewhere for a lesson. I hope that I won’t complain about early rising to participate in an event again. I hope I won’t complain about how sore my fingers are from making balloons. Or how I am tired and don’t feel like making people laugh.

It will be awhile before the nursing homes call me back….and that’s just how it is….I think when they call me back…I’m hoping for a big party….that lasts a long time….I’m ready.

I’m ready to smile again….and I can’t wait to see your smile to!

We have had Charlie for about eight years….maybe nine…he’s from the shelter…and he’s been special since day one.

Charlie is not the most intelligent animal. His hunting skills are below average…and he has a severe fear of sewer drains(we have no idea why). He barks at my UPS and FedEx delivery drivers and any new postal worker…he finally loves the one we have had for years and doesn’t bark at her.

Charlie has a cool vibe…we have always Said that he has more friends than any of us…the vet loves him, the groomer…anyone that visits our house loves Charlie. We took a walk just last night, and a car full of young men waved at us and told us they loved our dog…Charlie kept walking like…I hear ya…I know it.

Charlie woke me up last week when the tornado sirens were going off…I never heard them. Charlie knew when Ellie was about to have one of the worst asthmatic events in her life and laid by her bed and came and got me.

Charlie loves car rides…hates being clean…and hates being alone. When I leave on a trip he knocks my kids down to get to me first so that he can bark at me and jump on me…and all the things. When I come home he’s the one that greets me and literally makes a groaning noise until I give him sufficient kisses and hugs. He waits by the door when he hears my husband come home….he greets absolutely every single person that comes to my home like that. My parents who don’t even like dogs will take care of Charlie when we are out of town.

Charlie likes to chase deer and squirrels. He enjoys treats as long as they are corn feee and he loves his big bed.

He is loyal, kind, and loves with all his little heart. He just doesn’t see the bad in anyone….unless you drive a big brown truck that says UPS…he just can’t help himself…he’s gonna bark at you all day long.

Oh to be like Charlie…he unites everyone together…and he just loves you with all his heart and soul as long as you pet him.🧡😘

Be cool like Charlie 😘

I in the beginning of quarantine, was writing and blogging and doing projects and then I just didn’t have time anymore as I had to kick into survival mode for our business.

Our business is doing quite well despite being closed for five weeks. We are overwhelmed with gratitude at how wonderful our customers have been in supporting us.

We like you, are tired…we want to do fun things. I long to shake hands with our customers and be able to read my employees lips when they are talking to me…I long to see teeth…and smiles…and all the things…and I think we are close.

Since it’s been a month since I have written here are some things I’ve been up to:

And my Ellie girl has been hard at work at painting:

I was able to spruce up our garage with magnets:

My new plants came that were gifts for my birthday.

We found a new snow cone place/

We got new awesome masks:

Had a bonfire and our first s’mores of the season!

We enjoyed puppies:

And

I’m enjoying a new staff….

I like you, long to go to the movies. Eat out wherever we want. I would like to spend a day without worrying about wearing my mask…or get a headache from wearing the mask all day. I would like to travel…..even to a different state here in the US would be great. I miss going to TJ Maxx at my leisure…instead now you have to go and wait to be let in…

I just feel like 2020 is a great big kidney stone and we all just can’t wait for this painful thing to pass….

Keep on truckin my fellow peeps….the end is in sight!

I will say that the last two months have been the same for everyone…frustrating, depressing, disappointing, and scary.

We have learned how to do things we have never thought we would have to ever do …and we’ve had to be creative about it.

Had some employees give me their notice of departure literally hours and one of them, just days before opening our store…put a little bit more stress than I already had…but we are getting there….and we just might make it.

Our state lifted the stay at home order and our mayor allowed small businesses to re-open…and I am completely grateful. Things look very different now…but I’m thankful to be open.

My daughter turned 13 on Friday….she misses her friends terribly…she misses everything terribly. No summer camp, no art camp, and probably no summer swim team…and the disappointments just keep coming…but Friday…her friends came through and we were able to celebrate at a distance…with a promise of a big party soon to follow.

The theme this year was obvious…

And masks were not always required….

Birthday cake was as requested….ice cream cake…where I had to order from my car and do pickup. The ice cream store spelled her name perfectly and they were awesome.

Turning 13 means you get your first piece of real jewelry and she is taking very good care of it.

Pandemic birthdays call for caravans of well wishers…

And distant waves from friends…no hugs but the promise of seeing each other again soon!!!

Mother’s Day found me cranky…and like many of you…my list was long on things that I was cranky about…because…just like you…and everyone else in the world…I’m ready to be done with this.

I’ve gotten off social media…only to be dragged back on when innocently checking my business pages…..started fights, shared things I should not..and was frankly…just a tad sour.

Sour actually, if the perfect word. If you wonder what powerful impact the written word is…check how you feel lately after reading the latest news article…I found that for me…it was just raising my anxiety level…and my level of despair was growing.

Today, someone wrote that there will be a new “normal” and my rebellious spirit was upset by that…then they referred to flying after 9/11 and how everything changed…and in the beginning we all complained about taking our shoes off, going through security, water bottles, only small bottles of hand sanitizer or any liquid…and we all now do it like pros.

What does our world look like after all this has settled? I have no idea. Some say we will have masks for all outings…others that we will have to have our temps taken…and all I can say is…ok…let’s do it.

I miss hearing sports on tv….I miss going to a restaurant where people brought food to me…filled my glass….and took my dirty dishes. I’m miss flying on a plane…I don’t think I will ever say I hate flying ever again….because even though it makes me sooo nervous…I love all the amazing places and I have lots of places I want to go to soon. I won’t complain about getting my nails done and how long that takes, or my hair. I won’t complain about all the stuff my daughter is involved in and places we need to go. I miss the roar of a crowd…I miss movie theatres…and I miss plays and roller skating rinks, swimming pools and hotels, the inside of TJ Maxx…and camping. I miss all sorts of things that I thought I never would.

I miss clowns that were allowed at nursing homes…and clowns that were able to teach clown classes. I miss clown school, and clowning for schools as well…

I miss smiles…instead of being hidden beneath a mask…I miss breathing fresh air instead of using a mask constantly…

I am grateful to be able to have the Stay at Home order lifted in my city. I’m grateful to have my store open and how busy we have been…I’m grateful for warmer days ahead…

Lessons I have learned. We say mean things from the safety of our computer screens we would never say in person. We say we are in this together, when in fact…we are not…we are usually surviving the best way we know how. We preach to each other to be kind…but shame people for their choices. Wearing masks and gloves, staying home or going out…these are all personal decisions that we are all free to make and should be allowed to make without judgement from others.

I have said from the beginning to turn off the news…to concentrate on what is good…what is positive…what is holy and what is kind.

I believe that we will look back on this like we did on any other tragedy that has come down on us. We will be amazed at those who overcame…and saddened by the ugliness of others. We will shake our head at the bad choices that others made and the selfishness of so many more.

I am grateful for the quality time I’ve had with my family. Grateful for being able to get some projects done that in never had time to do…but so glad that we are starting to slowly get back to normal.

Social media for me looks a lot different right now. I’ve been much quieter…just business pages and a few small groups…and my anxiety and sour attitude is getting better.

Righty now 2020 feels like the movie “Groundhog day” and we seem to be stuck in February forever and sticking our foot in an icy wet hole everyday…but I keep thinking each day…soon…we are going to finally all move forward…and I keep looking forward to that day.

Just keep on trucking….we are almost done with Groundhog Day I’m sure!

I feel like something has died….I look through pictures from two months ago like I’m grieving the death of a loved one.

What things did I take for granted? How much sighing did I do because of little things that irritated me?

Some of you fear that family members or yourself will get this…so your staying at home. Others fear that they themselves or a loved one working in the medical field will get this. Still others are afraid that they will lose their business when this over. Others fear for our economy and that the fall out will be huge…and unfortunately, many of us…are ALL of the categories.

I could list my fear and that list is long…but I don’t find that helpful…I find it completely damaging.

I will only say this….I believe that we will rise again. I believe that this is NOT the end. I believe we will learn so many lessons from this…and what we thought was really important…is indeed not.

For some of you staying at home all day with everyone is probably the LAST thing on the planet you wanted to do…still others if you, no matter how hard you protest…are NOT missing all the sporting events and practices you took your kids to. Your not missing the insane schedule that was your life. Structure? Oh yes, we all need structure…and my husband and I are trying to bring that back, just like everyone else.

So far, we’ve organized our storage unit where we file all our paper work for our business. Cleaned out two freezers, and started a yoga and fitness routine. Our daughter has started a painting business on the side and it’s keeping her really busy. We normally homeschool anyway, so the change in schedule is severe, but the regular schooling is NOT that different.

We hope to be done with ALL school, except for Stanford testing by the beginning of May.

All my extra curricular activities have been cancelled of course. All my charitable events are cancelled…and all I can do is look at July to start planning for these events again.

In the meantime…we are doing a few things that I would like to challenge you to do. I’m cleaning out our freezer, we found lots of waste…things we didn’t know we had…so we are trying to plan meals with the things we already have.

I also, have been going through My soap supplies and finding many doubles items…I’m now continuing what I started a few months ago and planning on using ALL of my supplies and seeing what I can come up with to do so. Reorganize and repurpose.

After watching several Instagram beauty videos and NOT needing the three organizing towers that all the ladies seem to be ordering from Amazon, I’m questioning if I’m even a REAL girl…I have a small makeup travel case…and that is all.

Speaking of organizing my beauty drawers…I found face masks that I haven’t used in quite some time…exactly what am I saving this for?

Local charities are asking us to hold our donations…and when we are able to donate they will be needing them…we are going through everything little by little to get them ALL the things they need.

I have said this before…the gloom and doom…it may be coming…I expect this to get worse…but I also expect it to get better…and that’s called hope…and right now…I feel that’s what we need.

I can’t enjoy the quiet that these days are forcing me to have because they are overcome with worry and anxiety. I can be careful and cautious…and wash my hands and social distance and not go to the stores often at all…and that’s what I’m doing….but there’s a bigger lesson here…

A time to recharge….rest…organize…repurpose…learn a new fitness routine….read…write…paint….walk…enjoy things you never had time for.

I could live in quarantine quite happily…I really could….but work and certain activities have to happen to make the world go round. Can you live in quiet? Can you enjoy it? Does it spark a new bit of creativity? It should…

Go see who you were meant to be…with no interruptions…see what new amazing thing your children can learn…we are all meant for more than just busy.

My brain hurts…today, as we three sat at the dinner table…the only one who knew what the day was…was the twelve year old. Her father and I were sure it was Tuesday…our college son thought it was Tuesday when he FaceTimed us and said he didn’t have to report to work until Thursday…luckily…we figured out…it was Wednesday…I don’t know how we lost a whole day.

The new normal isn’t really normal…and it never will be. We sometimes sleep horribly…we sometimes sleep great…it just depends. Some days I’m totally fine with this…other days I’m ready to get off this planet.

I saw a lady wear a blow up unicorn costume to the supermarket spreading some cheer…and I was actually jealous…like…why didn’t I think of that? But I didn’t…and honestly….I’m tired…and probably if I would have thought of it…I would have not done it as beautifully as she did…seriously…..I’m jealous of a unicorn?🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️(I sound like Eyeore).

It may surprise you what I miss….I miss my employees, I miss the smell of my store. I miss the ding of the bell when the customers come in. I miss hearing my employees laugh with our customers. I miss saying hello to our UPS man, our mailman, our FedEx lady. I miss doing social media at the store. I miss bringing baked goods for my employees to eat and not make me fat. I miss their compliments on my outfits (even if they don’t really think it). I miss my massage therapist and our talks…and my right knee is really missing her. I miss my nail lady…and when they open this time I’m getting a pedicure too. I miss going through the Starbucks and getting my Green Tea Matcha…yes, I’m aware I can probably still get it…but really I’m staying away from all drive thrus.

I miss my mail lady and hearing how her grandson is doing. I miss talking to people when we are out. I miss hugging my favorite lady at church. I miss seeing my parents. I miss going on walks and not worrying about how many people are out.

I miss getting to clown at retirement homes. I miss getting to be the Easter Bunny for our store and seeing the kids light up. (I feel guilty for ever complaining how hot it was…I would do anything to be able to do it now). I won’t be able to do it for the two retirement homes, not Pivotal Point…and I don’t get to clown for an event for ALS. These are the things that I miss…and that we won’t get back…and I think as a human this is what makes all this soo difficult.

Last week after someone stole my bank card…I had to run to the bank and get a new card and I had to go right then because they were closing all the lobbies…for like two weeks maybe longer..so I went in with no makeup…and the banker literally made me feel like a leper while using his letter opener to take everything I touched. I wanted to argue…show him my hand sanitizer and that I’ve been using it WAY before it was cool…that I normally look way better than this…but ya know…here we are😬😬😬. I understand why he did it…totally do…but still…I went home…and ate more chocolate.

I’m not the kind of person who meets with friends every night…who chats on the phone all day…my best friends I haven’t seen in years…not that we don’t love each other…but because we have insane lives…I also moved away from all of them…I’m over an hour away from home…and right now…we couldn’t see each other anyway.

I cried after my daughter got off face time with her violin teacher…when she cried about missing skating with her friends and ice skating and field trips and friends coming over to hang out…so I’ve distracted her the best way I know how…and bought her art supplies and started her on an online class which she of course finished WAY before she should…and now…the kid has a side business going….and she’s making the walls of my house look way cooler.

I am finding that the days are going by at warp speed and the projects and the things that I have planned I’m not sure I have enough time to complete them.

I’m enjoying my new loveseat my husband bought me that I’ve wanted for a year that he bought because of all the amazing disappointments…I find that every time we have an opportunity to put a stamp in our passports…something happens catastrophic…apparently us ever leaving the US will literally put the world out of whack 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️.

I am very very lucky.

I am writing in my one thousand gifts journal

I’m doing yoga, and have continued my painting projects…next week I hope to be done with those and be able to do lots of new soap and work on…..juggling…because…I need some new tricks up my clown sleeves

I miss this clown character more than anything..to be able to go and make people laugh..and just be a ridiculous character keeps you humble…and keeps you happy…and right now…it’s not needed or wanted…and I can’t stand in my yard and wave to people…because that would be creepy…like seriously…possibly arrested.

I see people post their feelings on social media…

Some people say we deserve it…God is punishing us….He found a way for golf to be cancelled…I don’t think that’s a punishment…I think that’s a 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻. Now what about bowling? 😬

Some people say it’s political….I have no idea.

Still others say it’s God’s way of getting us all to slow down….

May I just say this…

God is not a god of disorder and chaos, fear and Lost hope. He is opposite of that. He allows things…He allows bad things…He allows these things to grow us…to help us re-evaluate…to help us make better choices…become better humans…and some of us are really stinky humans who decide to take advantage of others by buying all the hand sanitizers and toilet paper and selling them at a ridiculous prices..that’s a free choice that they have made and that they took…but God is not in any of that.

Want to see a picture of God? It’s the lady who took eggs to my parents along with potatoes and veggies and left them on the front porch…because after I had been to two stores in town I still couldn’t find any. God is in the lady who gave the old man the toilet paper that was in her cart because he couldn’t find any. God was in the customers we had that wanted to come and pick up repairs and give us the money so that we would have it before we were forced to close our doors.

God is in the people that will rise up and come to our store and support us like they always have once this is over. God is in the helpers, God is in the ones that share His love…not the selfish ones. Not the judging ones, not the ones who don’t speak to you even though they’ve known you forever….that walk by you like you don’t exist…God isn’t in that.

I have learned and am still learning that my faith in God does not rely on riches…because riches can be gone in an instant. My hope..my trust…is in the One who has made an impossible nightmare…become a beautiful unforeseen miracle. When you have walked that road…you take the next road that’s rocky with a little more trust than you did during the previous…because you’ve seen Him do the impossible.

I have prayed the prayers that He didn’t answer…I know heartache….but I also know amazing love and miracles like you’ve never seen.

Turn off the news…revamp yourselves for two possibly three weeks…because we are all gonna be like the little kids who get in the front row at the 5K line thinking they are Gonna take this thing down!!! We are gonna be ready to go!!!!

As I took my shower this morning…I felt convicted.

How many times have I complained of all the things I have to do? How many places I’ve decided to clown at…and I filled my schedule to full? How often have I complained about going to work and working all day or working OT? How many times have I complained about all the places that I have to take my daughter?

How many times have I complained about well…everything.

Perhaps that’s the lesson we can take away. Perhaps that’s what we were supposed to get out of this…how quickly we complain and how good we really had it…how our biggest fear in a week was about how we were going to get all this stuff done…and now we are just praying we can get back to just that crazy sentence…

We as Americans are creative…and funny…and I love seeing all the ways we are figuring this out. I think that’s what I love most about being American.:we are an entertaining lot.

So, while the rest of you decide to social distance with unicorns in the supermarket, and rainbow drawings and heart and monkey drawings in the windows of houses as your little kids take walks…this Momma is gonna get our homeschooling done earlier, so we can finally have Spring break and well, basically…early start to summer..I’m gonna finish these home projects and soap projects and this clown is gonna learn how to juggle…so that this summer we can camp and travel and clown and do a ton of stuff with no extra baggage….hold on for the bumpy ride…but we just might make it! If only, I could remember what day we were on that would be great!

Around six years ago I read a book with this title. The title was One Thousand Gifts and it was written by Ann Voskamp.

Like everyone else in the world…I got lazy…and patted myself on the back for accomplishing it and changing my thought patterns…and then went about my life.

When huge trials would come (and they always do) I would drag my list back out….and start again…and then…got caught up in busy and never looked back…then…welcome to 2019…and then now in 2020…where we all find ourselves in this “never before seen trial”….and I’m getting out my book again…grumbling as I go.

This book focuses on changing your mindset. Looking at each day as the gift that it truly is..just that…a gift.

When you look around the world…you see amazing things…but we don’t write it down..and therefore…on days that you have devastating things that happen you can then look down at these reminders. It’s helpful to see God’s promises during the times that it’s hard to see any good at all.

Today, there was a lot of bad things that happened…things out of my control…but here is a taste of my day…

1. Warm coffee with sugar and cream.

2. A dog that greeted me with happy good morning anticipation.

3. A warm house

4. A comfy bed

5. A beautiful green loveseat that my husband ordered for me.

6. Beautiful artwork made by my daughter.

7. A hug and a kiss from my husband.

8. A funny text from my son

9. A FaceTime violin lesson from my daughters sweet teacher.

10. Starting in some projects that I have put off.

11. Clean bathrooms.

12. Giggling of young girls during a FaceTime call from my daughters friend…

13. Favorite songs being played

14. Warm dinner in my tummy

15. Chocolate

16. The sun shining

I’ve got my book out…I’m writing down the things again…I challenge you to read this book and put these things into practice. Perhaps, just this once I can continue this practice daily…instead of just pulling it back out during difficult times.

Now is the time to establish new practices…get lots of things that we’ve put off completed…and get a head start for when things are back up and running again!

 

Sunday found me sour….I’m not sure if your familiar with that term or not…but basically it means that you need to have some chocolate and be thrown into a room all by yourself.

It all started by a big Ford truck that almost ran over me on my way to church….then some very disappointing and sad news during church….and I just was…undone.  Later in the day, we were with loved ones who were again…negative…and that made me…just want to curl up on my couch and take the worlds longest nap….so instead…I took a pretty long nap….and then my husband suggested this….

 

Something about being around nature….watching the amazing phenomenon of the birds coming in for spring…spring….renew…made new…alive…restored.

Spring brings allergies, and bugs…but it brings green grass, clean cars, and everyone able to walk outside. It brings yard work and gardens, and warm nights…it brings new life…and promises of new beginnings…

This year has been and will be a difficult year for so many….but all those birds and ducks and beautiful sunset…and somehow…my soul just seemed to find some rest….some peace.  Even though I’m aware of so many things that are wrong…how many people disappoint, how much mean can be done by other humans…but I remembered…that I am not without disappointments for many.  I know I have said mean things, done things I’m not proud of…and continue to disappoint.

The sun setting….the birds singing….and I felt peace…sometimes…you just need to turn off all the other noise…to really hear the important message.

This weekend….I’m back at doing things that I’ve put off for six months….I’ve gotten lazy…made excuses…wanted to take time to lick my own wounds…had nothing else to give…needed a rest…but I’m back. My heart is still hurt…its still learning to trust again…but in the meantime…there are others who need me…they need to laugh….see someone be silly….and forget for a moment….the ugly of life….just like the sunset…the birds…and the quiet of nature did for me yesterday.

 

Lately as I see my children growing older and even some of my staff…I’m reminded of my youth…yes…youth…glorious youth.

I thought back to when I was 23. I’m sure I felt my twenty three year old self was much more mature then it really was. I’m pretty sure that those who worked with me…could tell you the same stories that many of us tell about that age typically.

If I could tell myself a few things I would start with this:

Enjoy being a size two, because after your first child, that will no longer be your size. You will not die from childbirth like all those who have gone before you and told you the horror stories of childbirth. God made drugs…and we should enjoy them when giving birth. There’s nothing wrong in taking them. However, breast feeding is NOT this amazing thing they speak of. It’s horribly painful….not enjoyable for you or baby…and nipples do bleed…and I hated every minute of breastfeeding…and my child and myself were very happy with bottlefeeding, and it doesn’t make you less of a mother because you choose it as well. Sorry about sharing the graphic visual…but I felt I wish I had been told.

The man your gonna marry….it doesn’t matter what everyone you know tells you about him…what does your gut tell you? Listen to that gut! How does he treat his mother? How does he treat his siblings? How does he treat people? Especially people that are mentally or physically weaker then he is. Does he listen to you? Do your ideas matter? Does he have a temper? Remember that he is on his best behavior now. You cannot fix him, you cannot change him. He cannot be your project. In the same breath…he cannot fix you. He cannot build you up enough…he cannot give you enough confidence..:but he can destroy it…little by little.

Enjoy eating at Taco Bell while you can. Enjoy being able to read without squinting…because all of the sudden, before you know it…middle age comes quickly…and your given things like bifocals.

Make good friends. Friends that don’t care what you drive, or where you live….this keeps you humble when you know and remember where you can from.

Always be honest…it’s never worth the lie…no matter what financial or social gains you make…it will make you feel rotten inside…and no amount of money is worth that.

You can’t have a million best friends. Take your circle down a bit. Weed out the friends that constantly steal your joy, are never there for you…and don’t understand that friendship is a two way street.

Don’t be in a hurry to have kids. Kids are fabulous…and I have the best…but they take every single bit of your energy and time. They deserve the best…and once you have them…all these things that you did for you need to disappear…because your a grownup now…these kids didn’t ask to be born…and your the one that has to step up.

Be a good employee, and fellow co worker. Do not be the one that no one can count on. Do not be the one that everyone knows will take advantage of them because your super important.😬🤦🏼‍♀️

Last but not least…your lifetime mate…

Go into this with a do it or die attitude. Go into it realizing that there will be days that that amazing man that you love and cherish will have days that even his chewing gum will annoy you to new heights you never knew existed. That the towel on the bathroom floor and the cereal bowl he left out…will cause you to fill with an anger you never knew existed. Realize that he will feel the same about you.

Understand that those muscles will eventually turn to flab…your amazing abs will have stretch marks…your neck will start seeing wrinkles and his hair will turn gray.

May I also say that his looks and your looks will fade…but he will still be able to make your heart race in ways that would embarrass your adult children.

My man encourages me. He has seen me throw up…give birth, a broken leg, and almost pass out while our daughter recovered from surgery. He has seen me run races and be all disgusting and sweaty. He has heard me snore (I do not believe it but that’s what he said) 😬 he has clapped for my accomplishments. Praised me when I was able to complete a much desired job…and cheer me on as I try to achieve physical fitness. He has watched me clown and be the most ridiculous characters you can imagine…and still has told me I’m awesome. This ladies, is what you aren’t told from your friends.

The man you want isn’t the one with the best hair and the greatest car…the one that has the best abs and can play every sport. He doesn’t have to be the one with the best grades, the highest GPA…or come from the best family. What matters is his heart.

Does his heart beat only for you…or does he always look around…and eventually make his way back to you? He should be crazy about you and only you. You should not have to convince him.

Someday, you will look out your window and see your husband playing with your kids…and that scene will melt your heart more than any other thing you have seen him do. When he holds your baby girl for the first time. When he takes your sons hand and walks him to safety to the car…when he gets excited about your babies first steps…when he sings happy birthday. When he sits down and watches football with your son and reads to them at night. That’s the man you want…the man that’s there for the whole ride…not just the beginning…but the whole ride.

So, my dear 23 year old self…go for what your gut is telling you…and ignore all the other signs…remember to look at the whole picture…not just a snippet…but the entire picture.

It will all fall into place…and that stomach of yours??? Enjoy it…take pics of it…it didn’t last long 😬😬😬