Momma

I woke up at 3 am feeling nauseous. That was probably the absolute longest trip from Colorado we had ever had. Four hours left of the trip we got the call that Mom was not long for this world. She had been fine the day before…visited with people….but my Mother….when she makes up her mind to go…she just does.

We finally got in around 7:30 and went straight to the nursing home. One of my sisters along with my nieces and nephew were there…we all said goodbye and told stories and I kissed my Mom on the forehead and told her I loved her and thanked her for being my Mom. Told her I would be back in the morning. The same sentence I said to my Dad in May of 2025.

We got home around 9:30 and unloaded the car and made our way to bed….and then at 3 I woke up….and I already knew before I looked at the phone that my Mom had passed.

Hospice tried to call me several times and then the funeral home. I don’t know why I turned my phone off…denial? I said I would be right back in the morning….

Daughters and mothers have complicated stories and I will not list all the complications of our relationship. My Mother was raised by a woman who had lots of secrets and issues with my Mother…and none of them ever made sense to me. My Mom did the best she could with what she knew. I hope someday when I pass my children will choose to focus on the good and not the bad of what I did.

My Mother loved art…our house was very well decorated. She taught all of us how to make a home. She taught us early how to properly make a bed and how to set a table. Cloth napkins and tablecloths always ironed. We were always well dressed and ironed and makeup was always to be blended and well applied. Hair and clothing when I became a teen was very much perfected….childhood not so much. You could tell that I was child number five.

My mother was an amazing artist and that is where my Ellie gets much of her talent. Mom was always so proud to hear that Ellie was going to art school.

Mom

Made holidays special and she was an amazing seamstress… one year she made me and the grandkids these dogs….

She made my clothes…my friends would always ask if Mom could make them dresses

She loved my children fiercely and always was concerned with their walk with the Lord.

I loved the outdoors because of my parents

Right now I feel lost….both of my parents are gone…and I am not sure how to feel.

I know they are finally together and happy. I know my Mothers mind is restored, her body is made new…and she hugged my Saviors neck and then held hands with my Dad as he showed her around. I have no doubt her reunion in heaven is nothing short of amazing….but wow…what a hole in my heart….

What a huge pain that fills my stomach…grief…and death…I absolutely hate you.